


How To Be

by Illiad_And_Oddity



Category: DRAMAtical Murder (Visual Novel), DRAMAtical Murder - All Media Types
Genre: Fluff, M/M, Post-True Route, Slow Build, some angst later on
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-04-07
Updated: 2015-11-13
Packaged: 2018-03-21 15:41:21
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 13
Words: 56,040
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3697781
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Illiad_And_Oddity/pseuds/Illiad_And_Oddity
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Ren was human now, and that was nothing less than a miracle that he would always be grateful for.  But learning to be human is no easy task...</p><p>Epilogue added!</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

“Quiet day.”

At Aoba's words, Ren looked up from the magazine he'd been idly flipping through.

"Yeah," he agreed. It certainly had been quiet today. No customers had come in since morning, and the phone hadn't rung in well over an hour. There was a part of him that missed being an Allmate and always knowing precisely what time it was, but it was more relaxing to be able to just let time drift by.

"It's nice, though, isn't it?" Aoba added, "For a while there, I thought things might never calm down again!"

"Well, now that those children are in school, they should have less time to make a mess in the store."

Aoba let out a little laugh, "Well, I wasn't thinking about that specifically, but yeah, it's a lot quieter without them around."

Ren smiled slightly, "I think I understand what you mean."

He gently closed the magazine and moved until he was sitting next to Aoba. With a small sigh, he let his head drop onto Aoba's shoulder and hummed happily when Aoba started petting his hair. Even as a human, he still liked being petted.

"Aoba..." he murmured.

"Hmm?"

He had an urge to steal a kiss. He didn't think he should be so daring while they were at work, though. Haga-san was a very kind person, and though he'd been confused when Aoba had tried to explain how Ren had come to have a human body, he'd accepted it readily enough and hired Ren to work at Heibon as well. He probably wouldn't be too surprised if he came into the room and saw Aoba petting Ren's hair, but seeing the two of them kissing might be too much for him to deal with.

Ren shook his head, "Never mind."

The message alert beeped on Aoba's coil and Ren had to fight the habit to say something. He didn't know any sooner than Aoba if there was a message these days, or who it was from. Aoba lifted his wrist to check it, and Ren read over his shoulder. It was from Koujaku. Unsurprising, as Koujaku had always sent Aoba more messages than anyone else. The subject line said 'Good News!'.

'I officially have a salon now!' the message read, 'I'm going out to celebrate this evening. Do you and Ren want to come along?'

"By celebrate, he means drinking, doesn't he?" Ren asked.

"Yeah," Aoba said, "You haven't tried alcohol at all yet. Do you want to go?"

Ren considered it. Aoba had frequently left him at home before when he went out drinking with his friends, and he had seen what a hangover looked like. But then again, Aoba always seemed to be in such a good mood when he came home drunk, it must have been fun enough to make up for the hangovers he would get afterward.

"Yes," he said firmly, "I would like to."

Besides, if he said he wasn't interested in going, Aoba would almost certainly stay home with him. While he did love that Aoba cared so much about him, he didn't want Aoba to neglect his friendships.

Aoba grinned at him, and sent a response back to Koujaku.

"This'll be fun."

Ren hoped so. He was human now, and though he was happy – overjoyed – at the miracle that had been, he still didn't really know how to _be_ human yet. He had once been nothing more than a part of Aoba, but now he was his own person. He loved Aoba, but he knew he needed to have more in his life than just Aoba. It could be gradual, though.

Maybe... 90% Aoba, 10% everything else? That seemed like a ratio he could start with.

~

"Well, give it a try!"

Ren looked at the glass Mizuki had just placed in front of him. Everyone was looking at him. Of the people here, only Aoba, Koujaku, and Mizuki knew the truth about who he was, but the other people who were here to celebrate at least knew that this was the first drink of his life.

Ren picked the glass up and raised it to his mouth, hesitant. He glanced over at Aoba, who gave him a 'go ahead' gesture. He took a deep breath, then put the glass to his lips and took a sip. It was pretty bitter, and burned his tongue. He shuddered a bit in reflex.

"What do you think?" a member of Benishigure asked from behind him.

"Bitter," he said. He took another cautious sip, a little larger this time, and suppressed the shudder. Well, he couldn't say that it tasted _good_ , but it wasn't completely horrible either. "I don't know if I like it."

"Heh, you'll just have to try more, then!" Koujaku said cheerfully. He reached over and ruffled Ren's hair. Ren smiled at him. He appreciated that Koujaku didn't really treat him any differently since he'd become human. Although falling asleep on Koujaku's lap was probably out of the question now that Ren was almost as tall as him.

"I guess so," said Ren, and took a third sip. Some of the attention was drifting away from him, since Ren hadn't really done anything spectacular, and it was a relief. That much direct attention made him very uncomfortable.

"So, your new salon..." Aoba started brightly, "Is that the same place you were looking at last month?"

"Yes," said Koujaku, "I've worked things out with the couple who own the building, they're going to let me pay less in rent for the first year, until I get properly established..."

"Do they _know_ about your fans?" Mizuki asked with a laugh, "You make a fortune!"

Koujaku laughed right back, "Yeah, but it's a lot more expensive to have a shop. I'm going to have to buy a lot of things to get started, and I have to keep track of books... it's going to be way more work than just setting up wherever I want to."

"Perhaps you should hire workers," Ren suggested.

"Ah, that'll make it easier some ways and harder in others," Koujaku said, "I wouldn't be doing everything by myself, but I'd be someone's boss..."

"You already lead Benishigure," Mizuki pointed out, "I have people work for me. It's not really that different."

Koujaku downed the rest of his glass in a single gulp. Ren didn't think he was quite prepared for that yet, though he was getting used to the taste of the alcohol.

"I actually have been thinking about hiring a receptionist at least," Koujaku said, "Maybe someone to clean up, too. The problem is figuring out who to ask. My teammates pretty much all have jobs already. I don't want to hire one of my fans, that's for sure."

Ren laughed, louder than he had intended too. Was that from the drink?

"It's not that funny," Koujaku scowled at him, "Pretty much everyone I might want to work with already has a job."

"How about Clear?" Aoba suggested, "He doesn't seem to have any kind of job, and you get along with him."

Koujaku snorted loudly, "I like Clear just fine, but can you imagine having a guy in a gas mask greeting every customer who walks in?!"

Ren smiled. They had all gotten so used to Clear permanently hiding his face that they sometimes forgot how strange he was to everyone else. He was a good friend, even if he was odd.

Aoba laughed, "I guess not. You could hire him to clean up, though."

"After the store closes, so he can't scare customers away. He probably wouldn't work for me if I told him he had to take his mask off. And that's if I could even find him to ask. He just kind of disappears for days at a time, as far as I can tell... I haven't even seen him in a couple of weeks." Koujaku shrugged, "Well, that's stuff I'll have to figure out as I go! I guess I could just put up a help wanted sign and hope for the best."

He held up his empty glass, "Hey, Mizuki, could you refill this?"

"Sure, sure," Mizuki said, taking the empty glass, "Oh, Ren, do you want another one?"

Ren looked down at his glass, which he had managed to slowly empty while they talked. Huh, he hadn't really noticed. It hadn't felt like he'd taken that many sips... But he was feeling pleasantly warm and relaxed, and he didn't think he'd really had enough to figure out the appeal yet. "Alright," he said.

He accepted the second cup from Mizuki and stayed quiet, but alert to the conversations going on around him, just taking in everyone's words.

“- I never thought _you'd_ find a girlfriend -”

“- Don't laugh! It was really scary, anyone would scream at that part! -”

“- And you could just _see_ their faces go from 'haha!' to 'oh shit!' -”

Ren smiled, and leaned on Aoba's shoulder. This was nice. No wonder Aoba had always enjoyed going out drinking with his friends so much.

"Hey, are you getting drunk already?" Aoba asked affectionately, patting his head.

Ren shook his head, "I don't think so."

"Heh, I think he is," Koujaku said, "Well, it is his first time drinking..."

Aoba pushed him off, but Ren didn't mind. He was feeling pretty good, actually. He smiled at Koujaku, then flopped over onto his shoulder instead.

"Oh, I think we have a cuddly drunk here!" Koujaku teased. He ran his fingers through Ren's hair, scratching lightly as he did. Ren made a happy noise and tried to snuggle in closer, but the bar stool tilted disconcertingly underneath him and he quickly sat up straight.

He looked down, embarrassed, as they laughed at him.

"Maybe I should - " he started.

"Have another drink?" Mizuki cut in, handing him another cup.

"No, I - "

"Oh, come on. You're having fun, aren't you?"

Well, he was. Getting embarrassed for a minute shouldn't be reason to stop. After all, it certainly never seemed to stop Aoba. He nodded hesitantly and accepted the drink.

He finished the third drink much quicker than the first two, and readily accepted a fourth. The taste had stopped bothering him, and the warmth that spread from his stomach outward was very pleasant. He was having trouble keeping his balance on the bar stool, so Koujaku and Aoba shuffled him over to a booth.

"You're a lightweight, huh?" Koujaku asked.

"I feel nice," Ren declared, and hugged him.

"I should have expected that you would be a cuddly drunk," Koujaku ruffled his hair with a warm smile, then sat him on the seat next to Aoba. He didn't feel very balanced, so he leaned against Aoba's shoulder. It was easier than staying upright, and Aoba didn't seem to mind.

"Say, Aoba," Koujaku said, taking the seat across from them.

"Yeah?"

"I don't suppose I could hire _you_ to be my receptionist?" Koujaku asked.

"Nope," Aoba said flatly.

Koujaku laughed, "Ouch! I should have expected it, but still, that was pretty blunt, Aoba."

"We've been friends forever, and that's exactly why I wouldn't want to work for you. Besides, I like working at Heibon. Haga-san is a good boss, and I already know how to do everything."

"Fair enough. Just thought I'd ask."

"I could do it," Ren said, not lifting his head from Aoba's shoulder.

"Eh? But you're working at Heibon, too, aren't you?" Koujaku asked.

Ren shrugged, "Haga-san doesn't need me, he only hired me 'cause he's nice. He's really nice. I've always thought so."

"He is pretty nice, isn't he?" Aoba agreed. He was petting Ren's head again, and Ren missed having a tail to wag. He leaned into Aoba's touch again.

Koujaku laughed, "Tell you what, Ren. I'll ask if you're still interested after you're sober."

"Okay," Ren agreed. He nuzzled into Aoba's shoulder and let the noise drift around him again.

~

He fell asleep on Aoba's shoulder shortly after that conversation. Koujaku and Aoba ended up carrying him home, teasing him all the way, and the next morning he had a terrible headache where all the light was too bright and the sounds were too loud.

"It wouldn't be this bad if you'd drunk the water I tried to give you last night," Aoba scolded him when he finally felt well enough to get out of bed and stagger to the bathroom to wash his face.

"I think I've learned my lesson for next time," Ren said, leaning heavily on the sink. Would he feel better if he soaked his entire head? It might ease the pounding a bit.

"Oh? Next time, huh?" Aoba asked with a chuckle.

"Yes. I had fun last night, even if I feel bad now."

Aoba patted his back, "I'm glad."

Ren splashed a little more water on his face, then straightened up and turned to face his smug-looking lover. He would have been annoyed that Aoba seemed to be amused at his discomfort, but it didn't last long. Aoba was his everything. How could Ren ever be mad at him?

"I'm happy," he said, "Thank you." He leaned forward and kissed Aoba.

"Eww, you have hangover breath," Aoba said when they separated, but he said it with a smile.

"Sorry."

"Brush your teeth and have a shower. I'll go see if I can scrounge up any breakfast."

"Alright," Ren agreed.

The hot shower was soothing, as was the cool tile where he leaned against the wall. Next time he decided to go out with Aoba and his friends, he would be a lot more cautious. He smiled to himself. There would be a next time. He would never be left at home again, unless he wanted to be.

What a nice thought.

~

They weren't scheduled to work at Heibon that day, something that Ren and his persistent hangover were quite grateful for. He wasn't sure that he could handle even a quiet day at work with the way he was feeling. Lying on the couch with his head in Aoba's lap was about his limit. Fortunately, Aoba was happy to indulge him, petting his head idly.

"How are you feeling?" asked Aoba, his voice gentle.

"Better."

Breakfast had helped, and Ren had dutifully drunk all the water Aoba gave him; he still didn't feel _good_ , but he did feel better that he had before.  

The door opened and Koujaku's voice called from the entryway, "Aoba, Ren! You two home?"

"We're in the living room," Aoba called back quietly. It was still a little too loud for Ren's over-sensitive ears, but he appreciated the consideration.

"Ah, you're a lucky guy, Ren! I didn't get to lie down with my head in someone's lap during my first hangover."

Ren flinched at Koujaku's voice, covering his ears. "Don't shout!" he whimpered.

"Sorry. Noises are getting to you?" he asked. Ren felt the couch shift, and an extra hand begin to pet his head. He opened his eyes blearily and gave Koujaku a weak smile. Koujaku grinned at him.

"I hope you're not feeling too bad to go out. I want to show off my new place!" He waved a key happily above Ren's head.

Ren wasn't sure he was up to it, but Koujaku looked so excited. Well, at the very least, Aoba could go... Ren would hate for Koujaku to not be able to show off his new salon to his best friend on account of Ren's hangover.

He opened his mouth to speak, but Beni fluttered off of Koujaku's shoulder and landed on Ren's chest, "Ren! If you got too drunk last night to come see our new place today I'll never forgive you!"

Ren smiled at Beni, "Alright, I'll come. The walk will probably help.”

"Exactly!" Beni said, "Mild exercise is good for relieving hangovers. Do you know how many times I've had to remind Koujaku of that? And drink water! Lots of water!"

"Right." Ren remembered giving that exact advice to Aoba more than once when he was an Allmate. Some basic medical advice had been programmed into every Allmate model, but Ren obviously didn't have access to it anymore. Every once in a while, he missed the conveniences of being a machine.

He sat up, relieved that his head didn't throb too painfully when he did, and patted Beni on the head. "Thank you, Beni."

"You're human now, so take care of yourself!" Beni ordered.

Ren nodded, "Yes, I will."

"You'd better!"

"Alright, Beni, I think Ren's got the message," Koujaku said with a laugh, "You don't have to browbeat him, y'know..."

"Humans have a lot more stuff to take care of than Allmates do," Beni said, and flitted back to Koujaku's shoulder, "I'm just reminding him."

"I'm grateful for your concern," Ren said with a smile. Beni had been his best friend when he was a machine, and Ren was making an effort to still be friends with him. Allmates were programmed with only limited emotional ranges, but they did feel things, and Beni's hurt if Ren were to forget about him would be real enough. "Let's go see your salon. I know you're both excited about it."

~

The building was small, but it still gave the impression of being spacious inside, although that may have been at least partially because there was nothing in it. The empty room was echoing a lot, and it was kind of disorienting for Ren, who was still finding ordinary sounds to be just too loud.

"So I'm going to get some mirrors for this wall,” Koujaku said brightly, “I'm going to have two salon chairs, but there's room for four of them, which is good.”

"Two?" Aoba asked, "Aren't you basically only going to be able to work on one girl at a time? You're going to be the only stylist, after all."

"Two," Koujaku confirmed, "I can do certain things with more than one person at a time. For instance, if a girl wants her hair colored, I can start on another customer while she has the dye in... And if things do well enough, I'd like to be able to hire another stylist at some point."

Ren nodded. That made perfect sense to him. Besides, Koujaku knew what he would need and what he was capable of handling. Koujaku didn't seem remotely bothered by Aoba's question, and he pointed towards a door at the back.

"There are bathrooms and a spare room back there, I can use it for storage, and as a place to eat lunch. I need to fix up the bathrooms, though, 'cause they're really cramped and dingy. I want to make sure every part of the building looks good, and women really appreciate it when the bathroom is nice."

Aoba snorted, "I'm pretty sure no woman is going to be coming here to use the bathroom, Koujaku."

"No, but Koujaku is right," Ren said, "If customers are going to see it, it should look nice. I don't think many people would notice if the bathroom was nice as the rest of the shop, but they certainly would if it were dingy or messy."

Aoba looked at him curiously, so Ren elaborated, "Something bad in an otherwise good experience will stick out in a person's memory."

Koujaku grinned at him, "Exactly! You've got an idea of how important the little stuff is. I know I don't have the money to make all the renovations I want to yet, but Hagima's older brother is a plumber, so I can ask it as a favor... pretty much everything else I'll be doing by myself, or maybe with some of my team to help out. I'd like to be able to get this place ready to open by the end of next month."

"Do you guys want to help out?" Beni asked, "It'll basically be a party after the work is done."

"Alright," Ren said. He had enjoyed going out with everyone the night before, after all. He'd just have to be careful not to drink quite as much, or at the very least drink all of the water Aoba gave him.

Koujaku continued describing the plans for his salon, enthusiastically pointing out where he would put furniture, what colors he planned to use (unsurprisingly, there was a lot of red), and what it would cost him to do it. Aoba was kind of bored, Ren could tell, but Ren found it interesting.

"There's a lot of work involved in setting up a business, isn't there?" he asked.

"Yeah," Koujaku said, "I really am going to need to hire employees. I don't think there's any way I could do all of it by myself..." He looked at Ren and smiled, "So I know that you were completely drunk when you offered last night, but I wanted to ask: are you actually interested in working for me?"

"Yes," Ren said, without hesitation. Having his own job would certainly help him define himself as his own person, and Koujaku would certainly understand if Ren took a while to adjust to things.

"That's great!" Beni chirped brightly, "We'll get to hang out more."

"Ren... are you sure?" Aoba asked. He looked surprised, and a little bit hurt.

Ren bit his lip. He certainly didn't want Aoba to think that choosing to work with Koujaku was any kind of rejection. "I enjoy working at Heibon with you," he said, "I always like spending time with you, Aoba. But Haga-san doesn't need me, and I know that he can't really afford to pay me, either."

Aoba still looked a little bit upset, so Ren said, "We'll still spend lots of time together, I promise!"

Aoba stared at him for a moment, then started to laugh. Koujaku was smiling as well.

"Ren is such an earnest guy," he said.

"He is," Aoba agreed, looking at Ren with a fond expression, "Ren, it's alright. I mean, if this is what you really want to do, you don't have to explain yourself to me. Besides..." he reached up and patted Koujaku on the shoulder, "This hippo hairdresser needs all the help he can get."

"Aoba, you're so mean to me..." Koujaku whined.

Aoba just smirked. Ren couldn't help but laugh. Really, it was the little things like this which made him happiest.

"Anyway, it's great that you'll work for me," Koujaku said brightly, dropping his pout fairly quickly, "Ah, I guess I'll need to get an employment contract together for you to sign..."

"That can wait until you're ready for me to start," Ren said, "You already have so much you need to do, especially if you want to be open by next month."

Koujaku grimaced, "Ugh. Yeah. I'm excited, but this is going to be a lot of really hard work."

"You'll have me to help," Ren said. With a smile he added, "Boss."

For some reason, Koujaku's ears went a little pink. Ren thought it was kind of cute.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well, here we go! Much thanks to my dear friend [quetzalpapalotl](http://quetzalpapalotl.tumblr.com/) for motivating me to actually _write_ a long fic. Any feedback is really appreciated!
> 
> If you want, hit me up [on my tumblr](http://dreaming-shark.tumblr.com/).


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ah, what a response to chapter 1! Thank you so much, everyone! Without further ado, here's chapter 2.

~

Telling Haga-san that he was leaving Heibon turned out to be a bit more of a difficult conversation than Ren had expected it to be. Haga-san, after all, had been a remarkably kind and generous employer, and Ren couldn't quite shake the feeling that leaving was, well... ungrateful. But Haga had listened to his explanation of Koujaku's offer of a job, and had been quite understanding.

"I'm very grateful for you giving me this job," Ren said, "Please understand, I'm not leaving because I don't like working here or anything."

"No, no, I wasn't thinking that," Haga waved off his words, "Koujaku-kun is your friend and you want to help him out with starting up his new business. That's perfectly understandable. I'll miss having you here, but I'm sure I'll see you around still. When are you going to start at Koujaku's shop?"

"He wants to get it ready to open by the end of next month, but there's a lot of things he'll need help with before we get to that point, so I was thinking I would start working with him soon... It's really a matter of when you would prefer for me to go."

They worked out the details, and Ren went home that evening with his last paycheck from Heibon in his hand. He was quiet on the walk home, lost in thought. He felt oddly nervous, even though he was certain that he wanted to work for Koujaku.

"You okay, Ren?" Aoba asked.

"Yes," Ren said, "I think... Changing anything in your life is a little bit nerve-wracking, isn't it?"

"Yeah," Aoba agreed. He smiled warmly at Ren and slipped his hand into Ren's, lacing their fingers together. "But it can definitely be worth it. You're going to like working at Koujaku's shop, aren't you?"

"I think so."

They walked in silence for a few more minutes, and Ren found the warmth of Aoba's hand very reassuring. After a bit longer, he said, "Ah, Aoba?"

"Yes?"

"You don't think that my choosing to leave Heibon was in any way a rejection of _you_ , do you?" he asked nervously, "I know that you like to have me near you..."

Aoba shook his head, "No, not at all. I mean, I did like having you at work with me again, but you're right that Haga-san didn't really need you there. I asked him to hire you because I thought you would like having a job."

Ren looked at him, and Aoba blushed a bit and added, "And, okay, because I really hated leaving you at home when I went to work. But it's probably not good for us to spend all day every day together without any breaks or time to ourselves, so... yeah, you working for Koujaku is a good thing."

Warmth spread through him at Aoba's words and Ren smiled brightly, “I love you, Aoba.”

The way Aoba always blushed when Ren said those words was so cute, Ren didn't think he would ever get tired of it. He raised their linked hands to his mouth and kissed Aoba's fingers gently.

“Ren, we're in public!” Aoba protested, bright red.

Ren just smiled. Aoba protested every time Ren was affectionate in a place where someone could see them, but Aoba certainly didn't hold back when _he_ was the one who wanted something. Ren would never forget how thrilling it had been to have sex in that cramped back alley, with the risk that someone could walk by and catch them... he hoped to some day be able to do that again.

“I love you,” he repeated, his voice low and a little bit husky.

He got a slightly exasperated sigh in response, “Honestly, Ren, control yourself until we get home.”

“Sorry,” Ren said, letting go of Aoba's hand. That might have been a bit much, but for all that he had once been Restraint, resisting his urges when it came to Aoba was nearly impossible...

“Ah, it's okay. Granny's going to be home late tonight, so when we get home...” he let the sentence trail off, but the implication was obvious, especially with the slight blush on his cheeks.

Ren took Aoba's hand again, and they hurried the rest of the way home. Ren thought he did an admirable job of keeping his hands to himself until they reached the house, but as soon as the door shut behind him, he took Aoba's face in his hands and kissed him deeply.

Aoba responded with equal passion, his lips parting to allowing Ren access. He put his arms around Ren's shoulders and pulled him closer, pressing his body against Ren's. Heat spread through Ren, and he lowered one hand to rest on Aoba's waist. He wanted to take Aoba right here in the entryway, and might have suggested it if the bed hadn't been just upstairs.

“Aoba,” Ren murmured when they parted. He didn't really have anything else to say, but his meaning must have been clear because Aoba smiled at him, his expression filled with affection and lust...

“I love you,” Aoba said. He took Ren's hand and tugged him away from the door, “Come on.”

They paused only long enough to take off their shoes before running up the stairs to Aoba's room. Aoba reached the bedroom door first, pulled it open, and dashed inside. He jumped onto the bed and turned back to Ren with a playful smile.

“I win!” he declared.

“I didn't know we were racing,” Ren said, shutting the door behind him and joining Aoba on the bed at a more sedate pace.

Aoba pulled Ren close, bumping their foreheads together. His face broke into a wide smile, and he laughed, “I really love you.”

Ren kissed him in response, knowing that he didn't need to say anything else. He pulled Aoba's shirt off and took a moment to admire him. It didn't matter how many times he'd seen Aoba's body, Ren still found that Aoba took his breath away. Especially when he was like this, flushed all the way down his chest, his lips swollen from kissing, eyes heavy-lidded and filled with lust. Ren was sure that no one else could ever be so beautiful.

He kissed his way down Aoba's neck and chest, paying special attention to Aoba's ticklish spots and making him squirm in Ren's arms.

“Ren!” Aoba protested as Ren licked one of his nipples, “You know I'm ticklish!”

“Mm-hmm.”

“Ren...”

Aoba's annoyed tone was all the warning Ren got before Aoba's hands found his ribs and he began tickling Ren back. Ren laughed, and caught Aoba's wrists. The two of them smiled at eave other, and Ren gently pushed Aoba down to lay on the bed.

“I love you, Aoba,” Ren said, kissing him softly.

“I love you too,” Aoba groaned, wrapping his arms around Ren's neck and pulling him close, “Ren, please...”

They hurriedly removed the rest of their clothes, and Ren licked every inch of Aoba's skin he could reach, already feeling desperate. Even when Ren tried to take things slowly and be romantic, he would usually lose himself to the feeling of their bodies before too long. He was unable to hold back or be patient when Aoba was spread out underneath him, warm and willing.

“How... how do you want to do this?” Ren asked, managing to stop his amorous assault long enough to ask the question.

Aoba gave Ren a gentle push on the shoulder and Ren laid back. If Aoba wanted to top tonight, Ren was perfectly happy with that, but Aoba just gave him a quick kiss and got on his hands and knees.

“Like this,” Aoba said, his voice thick with lust, “I want you to fuck me from behind.”

Ren had to squeeze the base of his cock firmly to keep from getting overexcited at that request. He usually preferred making love face to face, but this position was the best when Aoba wanted it fast and rough. He gently stroked the small of Aoba's back, making him groan.

“Ren, _come on_ ,” Aoba demanded.

He bent over Aoba's back and kissed his shoulder blade before reaching for the nightstand drawer and the lube. He spread some on his fingers and gently pressed one into Aoba's hole. Aoba relaxed around his first finger easily, and he groaned impatiently and dropped to his elbows. Ren drew in a sharp breath when he did. He liked seeing Aoba in this submissive position, looking vulnerable and helpless to do anything but react, but Ren knew that, really, he was the one who was helpless against Aoba's desires.

"Ren, Ren, _please_ ," Aoba begged, his fingers clenched in the sheets, "More!"

Ren bent over Aoba's back and lightly bit the soft skin there, "Aoba, your voice is so beautiful..."

Aoba was relaxed enough that Ren added another finger without much resistance, and he let out a little groan at how Aoba felt around his fingers. So hot and tight... no matter how many times he did this, he would never stop being amazed by how _good_ Aoba felt. He bent his fingers and rubbed Aoba's prostate, making him moan.

“Oh, fuck, do that again!”

“Does it feel good?” he asked. He knew the answer, but he liked to hear Aoba say it.

" _Yes_! " Aoba gasped, “I want you inside me. Now, _please._ ”

“You're so eager...” Well, Ren wasn't exactly feeling very patient either. They did this often enough that he he knew he was unlikely to hurt Aoba by giving in to his pleas. He withdrew his fingers, lined his cock up with Aoba's entrance, and pushed in. Maybe a little too fast, by the sharp gasp Aoba let out at his action.

“Sorry, did I hurt you?” Ren asked. He had a hard time getting the words out. Aoba felt so good, his muscles clenching around Ren's cock as he adjusted. Ren didn't want to wait, wanted to just fuck him hard and fast, but he didn't want to hurt Aoba either.

“No,” Aoba shook his head, “It feels good. Ren, _fuck me_.”

There was absolutely no way Ren could hold back when Aoba sounded like that. He withdrew a bit, and slammed back in hard, making Aoba all but scream when he did. Ren did it again, reaching around with one hand to stroke Aoba's cock and keeping a tight grip on his hip with the other. He set a fast pace and Aoba matched him, pushing back against each thrust.

Neither of them lasted very long. They rarely did like this. When Aoba came, it was with a cry that was enough to send Ren over the edge as well. There was nothing that made Ren react quite as strongly as knowing _he_ was the one making Aoba make those noises.

Ren carefully pulled out of Aoba and they collapsed on the bed, panting. Ren pulled Aoba close to him and kissed the crown of his head. Funny, but he almost thought he preferred the moments just after sex to the act itself. His body was thrumming with satisfaction and even the sensation of Aoba's sweaty skin sticking to his was enjoyable.

They lay there in silence for a few minutes, catching their breath before Aoba finally spoke.

"We should go take a shower, shouldn't we?" he asked, but he made no effort to move.

"Do you mind if we just... lay here for a while longer?" Ren asked.

Aoba giggled, "Fine, if you'll be the one to change the sheets this time."

"Alright." Changing the sheets was certainly worth being able to hold Aoba for a while longer. Besides, they would need to be washed anyway. Ren suspected that Tae had already guessed the nature of Ren and Aoba's relationship, but she certainly didn't need to have the evidence presented so clearly.

"Eh? Ren, I was just teasing, you don't have to do that to get me to lie here and cuddle with you..."

“I know,” Ren kissed Aoba's shoulder, “but you did the laundry last time. It's fine.”

Aoba shook his head with a small laugh, “You're so cute.”

Ren didn't think he was particularly cute. Certainly he wasn't cute like Aoba was, at least. It was natural for someone to think the one they loved was cute, though, so he didn't bother to correct Aoba. Aoba thought Ren was cute because Aoba loved him, and that was fine.

After a while, they did have to move again, to Ren's disappointment. He wished sometimes that he had no other responsibilities or requirements, and could spend all day every day making love to Aoba. He knew how unrealistic that was, though. Besides, if they did nothing else, it would eventually stop being meaningful, wouldn't it?

"I'm going to go take a shower," Aoba said, "Can you check and see if Granny left us something for dinner?"

"Alright," Ren said, reluctantly sitting up and getting out of bed. "May I borrow your coil? I should call Koujaku and let him know I can start working tomorrow."

"Go ahead," Aoba replied unconcernedly as he wrapped a towel around his waist and left for the bathroom.

Ren considered following him – Aoba was usually up for round two in the bathroom – but instead he reached for Aoba's coil and selected Koujaku's number.

Koujaku picked up immediately, "Hey, Aoba! How are you?"

"Actually, this is Ren. I'm using Aoba's coil to call you."

"Ah, well then – hey, Ren! How are you?" Koujaku asked with a laugh.

"I'm fine," Ren said, "I'm calling to let you know that I can come over tomorrow to help you work on the salon, if you'd like me too."

"Great!" Koujaku said, "I'm going to do some painting – it'll be easier before there's anything on the walls, and if we have time I want to start getting rid of that hideous tile in the bathroom.”

"Alright," Ren said, "Is there anything I should bring tomorrow?"

"Old clothes that you won't care about getting paint on. I have everything else we'll need."

"Understood," Ren said.

"Oh, and Ren?"

"Yes?"

"You should have your own coil, in case I need to call you about work-related stuff," Koujaku said, "Or, you know, in case you want to call someone but Aoba's not around. If you want, I can buy you one tomorrow, after we're done."

"Are you certain?" Ren asked. Any decent-quality coil would be a bit pricey, which was why Ren hadn't gotten one of his own yet.

"Think of it as several years worth of belated birthday gifts,” Koujaku said.

"That's very generous of you," Ren said, "Thank you, Koujaku."

"Honestly, you're just going to need one if you're working for me..." Koujaku pointed out, “You can call it a company-issued phone, or something.”

“Yes, but still, thank you,” Ren said, “Should I meet you at the shop tomorrow?”

“Yeah, that'll be fine.”

“When should I arrive?”

“Hmm...” Koujaku considered that, “About 9:30, maybe? I'm going to be picking the supplies up first thing, but I don't know how long it'll take. Actually, let's say ten instead, so that you won't have to wait around outside if I haven't gotten there yet. It's supposed to be cold tomorrow, and Aoba would kick my ass if I left you out waiting in the cold.”

 Ren laughed, “I won't tell him if that happens. Also, I would probably go wait in that shop across the street.”

Koujaku laughed as well, “Yeah, that's probably a smarter idea. All right, I'll see you tomorrow, then!”

“See you tomorrow,” Ren said brightly.

He was looking forward to it.

~

The next morning was, as Koujaku had predicted, cold. When Aoba left for work at Heibon, his breath fogged in the morning air. There was a part of Ren that wanted to forget the whole thing and accompany Aoba to Heibon as usual, but he knew it was just nerves speaking. He had no reason to be nervous, it was simply that the change was disconcerting. He wasn't even going to be doing anything like a normal job today, just helping Koujaku to paint his new salon. It would be more like hanging out than anything else, and he had always enjoyed that.

It occurred to Ren as he left that he and Koujaku had never really spent any time together without Aoba there. That was odd to him. After all, they got along so well, but would they be able to talk normally if Koujaku were the boss and Ren the employee? Maybe that was why Aoba had said he wouldn't want to work for Koujaku. But then again, Aoba made fun of Koujaku all the time, and acting professionally with him would probably be more difficult... Ren would joke on occasion, but nothing that might undermine Koujaku's authority or scandalize his customers. He shuddered when he thought about what Koujaku's female fans might do if they heard a mere employee insulting their precious Koujaku. Aoba would be doomed.

By the time he reached the soon-to-be salon, the day had warmed up a little bit. At least Ren wasn't seeing his breath on the air anymore. Koujaku was inside, and the door was unlocked, so Ren let himself in.

"I'm here," he called.

"Hey, Ren!" Beni replied, flying over and landing on Ren's shoulder, "Good morning!"

"Good morning, Beni."

"Oh, good, you're here," Koujaku said, "Great!"

Koujaku wasn't wearing one of his usual kimonos today, but rather an old pair of jeans and a long-sleeved sweater. His hair was still in the same style as usual, though without the hairpin he normally wore. It was weird to see him in western-style clothing, but he didn't look bad at all, Ren thought.

"Have you been waiting long?" Ren asked.

"No, I've only been here for about ten minutes so far," he gestured at the floor, which was covered with a drop cloth and had an open can of paint on it, "Ready to start?"

"Sure," Ren said, taking off his coat, "Ah, where should I put this so it won't get paint on it?"

"Oh, stick it in the back room," Koujaku said, pouring the paint into a tray, "I'm probably not going to bother to paint in there at all, and if I do it won't be today."

"Right."

Ren left his coat and his lunch in the back room, and wasted no time in taking a paint roller and starting on the wall. He hadn't painted anything before, but it was simple enough to figure out, and sort of satisfying to see the old white color of the wall disappearing under the new, darker cream color that Koujaku had picked out.

"Is it all going to be this color?" Ren asked. "I thought you were going to paint it red..."

"Only one wall is going to be red," Koujaku said, "If it were all red it would be overwhelming, don't you think? My customers need a chance to rest their eyes."

“You know a lot about design, don't you, Koujaku?”

“I have to!” Koujaku said, “This is going to be a classy salon, not a neighborhood barbershop! It has to be a good experience from beginning to end, so I need to pay attention to all the details, not just styling hair.”

Ren smiled, "Right, boss."

Koujaku laughed, "Oh come on, if you're going to call me boss, can you at least try not to make it completely obvious that you're teasing me?"

"Sorry," Ren said, turning his attention back to the wall.

"It's okay," Koujaku said, "After all, you live with Aoba, so you were bound to start teasing me eventually."

"Aoba teases you a lot," Ren said, "But you always seem to enjoy it when he does."

Koujaku shrugged, "That's just how Aoba and I are with each other. He teases me, I pretend to be upset, and we laugh about it. I don't mind if you do the same thing, Ren. I'll tell you if you ever say something that _actually_ upsets me."

Ren nodded, "I won't tease you in front of customers, though. They might get upset."

Koujaku smiled, and turned back to painting. "So, did you borrow those clothes from Aoba?"

"Yes. I didn't have any of my own that were old..."

“It shows, that shirt is way too small for you.”

They talked casually as they worked, and Ren was glad to discover that he was perfectly able to talk to Koujaku without Aoba present. They made quick progress on the walls, and it only took about four hours, not including their lunch break, to give the salon a fresh coat of paint.

“Great work, Ren,” Koujaku said brightly as he cleaned up the painting supplies, “That went a lot faster than I was expecting. How about we let that dry for a while, and go get you a coil? If we have time afterward, let's come back and start on the floor.”

"Sounds good," Ren said with a smile.

"There's a place a couple of blocks from here that sells electronics, and I'm pretty sure they have coils," Koujaku said brightly.

Ren got his jacket out of the back room and they left the soon-to-be salon. He looked back at it. It didn't look like much, yet, but he was beginning to feel almost as excited as Koujaku about this place.

"So, have you decided what you're going to call it?" he asked.

"Yeah, I've had a name picked out since before I even started looking for a place. Didn't I tell you?" Koujaku asked.

Ren shook his head, "No, you didn't."

"Ah. Well, it's going to be called 'Salon Suzume.' That's a good name for an upscale place, don't you think?"

Ren looked away to hide his grin. He wasn't at all surprised that Koujaku had picked that name... Between his team, his Allmate, and his usual choice in clothing colors, Koujaku was nothing if not loyal to his theme.

"Huh? What's wrong? You don't like it?" Koujaku asked.

"No, no! It's a good name!" Ren said quickly, "Certainly none of your customers could ever be confused about who owns the place."

"You're making fun of me again, aren't you?" asked Koujaku with a scowl.

"Maybe a little bit," Ren admitted with a small smile.

"Koujaku just keeps his image consistent!" Beni said defensively, "How weird would it be if he called it 'Salon Blue Tree' or something?!"

Ren laughed, "No, that wouldn't fit."

"Exactly!" Beni said, "Besides, I'm going to be the store's mascot, obviously! I can hang out at the front counter with you and greet customers. The girls already think I'm adorable."

"And so humble, too," Koujaku said with a raised eyebrow.

"You're one to talk, boss!"

They reached the store Koujaku had been talking about and went inside. It wasn't a fancy high-end store like the ones Ren had seen in Platinum Jail, but it was definitely a step above Junk Shop Heibon. Koujaku walked up to the counter without any hesitation and caught the attention of the man at the desk.

"Welcome! May I help you find anything?"

"Yes, my friend needs a coil," Koujaku said, "Do you carry those?"

"Yes, right over here next to the Allmate peripherals." The clerk gestured to a wall of demo coils.

Ren had gotten a lot better about dealing with people, but he wondered if he would ever be able to just confidently ask a total stranger a question like that. Even though it was obviously the clerk's job to answer any questions, Ren still felt like he was being rude.

"Thanks!" Koujaku said, and headed over to the display, "Ren, what sort of thing do you want?"

"Ah, I'm not sure... do I need anything beyond the default programs?" he asked, looking over the display.

Phone, mail, internet, camera, maps, weather forecast... would he need anything other than those, really? He didn't even think he would really need all of the default programs, although it might be fun to get a few simple games just to kill time if he was bored and didn't have a book on hand.

"I meant what style?" Koujaku asked, "I mean, I'm going to send you the program I use to take payments from my customers, but other than that you can decide what you're putting on it. So get something you wouldn't mind wearing every day."

Since Koujaku was paying for it, Ren kept his browsing to the less expensive items on the bottom shelf. Koujaku hadn't said anything about the price, but Ren certainly wouldn't feel comfortable getting something so expensive with someone else's money. Eventually he selected a simple black wristband-style coil that only cost 15,000 yen. It was still more expensive than he really felt comfortable asking Koujaku to spend on him, but Koujaku had gotten annoyed at him when Ren tried to pick the cheapest one in the store. ("Oh, come on, Ren! I'm not a cheapskate! Pick something that won't break in less than six months!")

"This one?" Koujaku asked.

"Yes. Unless you think I should go with something else?"

"Nah, this should do the job just fine," Koujaku said. He picked up the display box and carried it to the counter, "This one, please!"

Ren let the clerk turn the coil on and register its number. The clerk gave him a quick lesson in how to use it, although Ren didn't really need it since he'd seen Aoba give it enough times at Heibon.  He didn't interrupt, though.  It would be rude...

As they exited the store, Koujaku grinned and held out his hand for Ren's coil.

"Here, let me borrow that for a moment," he said. Ren handed it to Koujaku.

Koujaku put his number in and handed it back with a grin. Ren looked at the screen, then back up at Koujaku with a raised eyebrow. Koujaku had registered his name as 'Boss.'

"You can change it, I won't be offended," Koujaku said with a laugh.

Ren shrugged, and put the coil on, “I'll leave it like that. Thank you, Koujaku.”

“You're welcome. Besides, I wasn't kidding when I said you'd need one.”

“For more than just the coil. Having my own job is an important step for me," Ren said, "So I'm relieved that you needed someone and were willing to hire me. It's less intimidating than working for a stranger."

"Well, you were working for Heibon before, was that different?" Koujaku asked.

"Sort of," Ren said, "I mean, it _was_ a job, but I wasn't hired because Haga-san needed me. Aoba asked him as a favor, because he didn't like leaving me at home alone all day. So it felt a little different than being a 'real' employee..."

"I get what you mean," Koujaku said, "But why is it an important step?"

"I'm a human now," Ren said, "And I'm very happy about that, I really am! But being human is complicated. As an Allmate, I was programmed in a certain way, but... I, ah, Aoba and I hadn't told anyone else about this detail, but I think I can tell you. It's about, um..." he wondered if there was a way to explain this that didn't make him sound insane.

“Yes?”

"I wasn't a normal Allmate, even from the beginning," Ren said, "Although I didn't know it for a long time, I was originally a... a piece of Aoba's consciousness."

Koujaku nodded, "Yeah. I know."

Ren stopped, "You... you do?"

"Aoba told me some of what happened in Platinum Jail. Not the whole story, he was too upset to go into details, but some of it," Koujaku said, "I can kind of guess at the rest from what he told me. You were his... Restraint, right?"

Ren blinked, "So you knew about me?"

How much did Koujaku know? Did he know that Ren's body was originally Sei's? Did he even know about Sei at all? Did he know that Ren and Aoba were lovers? No, he certainly couldn't know that. Ren and Aoba were being discreet about their relationship, and Aoba would definitely have told Ren if he'd told anyone, even Koujaku.

"You were a part of Aoba's mind that got... uploaded into the Allmate, but neither of you remembered that properly. That's as much as he would tell me before he got too upset to continue. But that explains a lot of things, like why Aoba was so heartbroken when it seemed like you were gone. He never once saw you as simply a machine, but always something precious. Because you were an important part of him."

"You didn't say that you knew," Ren said, still a little bit off balance from the thought that Koujaku knew about his origin.

Koujaku shrugged, "I didn't think it made that much of a difference. You were part of Aoba originally, but then you were an Allmate and now you're a human being. Whichever of those three stages you were at, you were my friend for all of them.”

Ren dropped his head, suddenly too embarrassed to look Koujaku in the face. He was pleased, though. Koujaku accepted him as he was, Ren should have known that would be the case.

"Although I was really surprised that you became human..." Koujaku said, "I mean, I've been wanting to ask how that happened but I thought it might be, y'know, a little bit invasive...”

Ren wasn't sure how to respond to that, and his discomfort must have shown on his face because Koujaku continued, “I just guessed that it had something do to with all those experiments that they found out Toue was doing after Oval Tower fell."

"Er, yes," Ren said, "That's more or less it." Aoba and Sei had originally been birthed of those experiments, after all, so Koujaku wasn't wrong...

"Don't look so freaked out, Ren," Koujaku said, "Really, you being a part of Aoba's mind before you became an Allmate isn't really any weirder than an Allmate becoming a human in the first place. Actually, it makes you becoming a human seem _less_ weird, honestly, because that explains how it could have been possible in the first place. It doesn't change what I think of you at all. You're my friend, and I'm glad you're here."

"I'm glad I'm here, too," Ren said with a smile. “Thank you. I'm... really pleased to know it doesn't change what you think of me.”

Koujaku reached over and ruffled his hair affectionately, "As if it could. Ren is Ren. But I think I got you off topic. What were you going to say originally?"

Ren tried to remember what he had been thinking about before Koujaku had shocked the thought right out of his head. Forgetting what he was talking about had never been a problem when he was still an Allmate. "Oh, I was going to say that... being a human is complicated, and even if I was technically one before, it's still different now. I have to learn who I am as my own person, not as an Allmate or a part of Aoba. I can't determine who I am if I spend all day every day in Aoba's presence. Even something as simple as having my own job... That lets me be more me. Ren the human instead of Restraint, or Ren the Allmate."

“Yeah, that makes perfect sense.” Koujaku smiled and dropped his hand from Ren's head to his shoulder, “Well, I'm glad that I can help you, human Ren.”

~

It was late by the time Ren finally got home that night. Koujaku's enthusiasm and desire to work had rubbed off on Ren, and the two of them had completed a lot more work than Koujaku had originally had planned for the day. Ren had found the whole thing a lot of fun, though. It was easy to look at something like renovating and see exactly how much they had accomplished. Ren was tired, but also proud.

"I'm home," he called as he entered the house.

"Welcome home, Ren!" Aoba's voice came from the kitchen, so Ren took off his shoes and headed that way. Tae wasn't in the room, so he greeted Aoba with a kiss.

"How was your day?" Aoba asked, "I thought you would have been home a lot sooner."

"I'm sorry, we were making a lot of progress on the salon and didn't want to stop working. And look," he added, holding out his wrist, "Koujaku got me a coil. I won't have to borrow yours to make calls now."

"Oh!" Aoba said, looking at the coil, "Wow, that was really nice of him."

"It was," Ren agreed, "Of course, he was right that I would need one. An employer has to be able to get in touch with his employees."

"I'm glad you had a good day. Do you want some dinner?" Aoba asked, "Granny is going out with friends and didn't want to cook tonight, so I brought home takeout."

"Ah, I've already eaten," Ren said, "Koujaku ordered in for us since we were working so late."

Aoba put on a very exaggerated pout, "What? After I went three whole blocks out of my way to pick this up? Ren, you're so ungrateful!"

"I'll take it in for lunch tomorrow," Ren promised, "Thank you, Aoba."

Aoba laughed, "Ren, you've really got to learn how to tease me back one of these days."

Well, he'd sort of been practicing teasing Koujaku today, right? Ren smiled, and sidled closer to Aoba. He rested his hand on Aoba's hip and leaned in close to his ear.

"I'm sorry for being so terribly ungrateful... can I _ever_ make it up to you?" He kept his voice deliberately low and suggestive, and Aoba turned bright red at his words.

"Ren..."

"Was that better?" Ren asked in a normal tone, taking a step back like he hadn't just been overtly sexual.

Aoba laughed, still flushed, "Never mind, you're fine the way you are!"

Aoba was so cute when he was flustered, Ren always enjoyed being able to make him blush. Perhaps while he was working with Koujaku, he might pick up more tips on how to flirt properly... Koujaku had always been able to turn women to putty with a few well-chosen words, and while Aoba had always found it irritating to see, Ren thought Koujaku's social skills were impressive. He wouldn't flirt with everyone like Koujaku did, but if he could occasionally use something on Aoba, then that would be great.

"I missed you today, but I'm glad you enjoyed yourself," Aoba said with a quick hug.

"I missed you too," Ren said.

Being his own person was good for him, and he _had_ had a lot of fun today, but it was very reassuring to come home to Aoba. Even with more things in his life, Aoba was still the center of his world.

And really, that was just fine.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Salon Suzume = Salon Sparrow. Because Koujaku is a dork who is completely dedicated to his theme.


	3. Chapter 3

~

"So today is the grand opening?" Aoba asked as Ren got dressed.

"Yes," Ren said brightly, buttoning up his shirt. Koujaku hadn't exactly set a work uniform, but he'd asked Ren to be sure to dress nicely for the big day, so Ren was wearing a dark red dress shirt and black jeans. He'd gotten the shirt secondhand, and he had owned the jeans for a while, but he didn't think either of them looked old or shabby. He'd considered wearing a tie, but dismissed the idea as he had absolutely no idea how to tie one.

"So you're finally going to be doing the job Koujaku actually hired you for, huh?" Aoba asked with a laugh.

Ren nodded, and looked himself over in the mirror. He thought he looked nice, appropriate for a man at the front desk of a fancy salon. He turned towards Aoba, arms spread out for inspection, "Do I look alright?"

Aoba gave him an exaggerated once-over, and his smile was almost a leer as he said, "You look fantastic."

Ren blushed, "Aoba!"

"You might want to tone it down a notch, 'cause all the customers will be ogling you instead of Koujaku," Aoba said with a smile.

"Ah, really?" Ren turned back towards the mirror. Was dressing _too_ nicely a problem? It wasn't a full suit or anything...

Aoba laughed, "No, I'm just kidding. But really, you look good in that outfit."

Aoba slid off the bed and came over to Ren. He wrapped his hands around Ren's waist and hugged him gently, "You're nervous, aren't you?"

"A little," Ren admitted. They'd spent over a month getting the salon ready, and though the work had been physically hard, it had been pretty casual. Today was the moment of truth, the thing that all the work had been for. He wanted it to go well...

"Don't be. It's the first day so there are bound to be some things that go wrong, but just keep a cool head and you'll be fine," he rose up on his tiptoes and gave Ren a quick kiss, "I'll see you tonight."

Ren left for his first day of work with a smile on his face.

~

Somehow, in the time they'd spent preparing the salon, it had slipped Ren's mind that when the salon actually opened, there would be a lot of people there. He was still very uncomfortable in crowds, and a crowd of Koujaku's ardent fans was a particularly overwhelming one. It certainly didn't help that they were crowded around the door, waiting for the salon to open. He was pretty sure all of them wanted to be the first one to get her hair styled at Koujaku's new salon.

He nearly ran away when he was accosted trying to get in the front door.

"Who do you think you are?" one girl demanded, "You've got to wait in line like everybody else!"

"I - "

He was saved by a timely intervention when the door to the shop opened behind him and Koujaku called out, "Good, Ren, you're finally here! Come in and help me set up!”

He wasn't actually late at all. The shop was supposed to open in one hour, and Ren was supposed to be there an hour before opening, but it was a good reason for Koujaku to call him in.

"Excuse me," Ren said with relief, "I have to get to work."

"You work here?" the girl asked, "I don't want a haircut from anyone but Koujaku-kun!"

"No, I'm just the receptionist!" Ren said, and escaped inside.

As soon as he was safely inside and Koujaku had shut the door behind him (with polite apologies to the girls who were waiting, and promises that the wait would be worthwhile), Ren found himself shaking. He should have expected that. Honestly, it was very mild compared to what he might have had to deal with.

"You okay?" Koujaku asked.

"I'm still not comfortable with crowds," Ren said.

"Yeah, I remember," he patted Ren on the back reassuringly, "It's okay. Once we're open you can sit behind the counter and not have to feel surrounded."

Honestly, Ren knew he would have to get used to people if he was going to be doing this job. It was ridiculous, but he'd somehow let himself think it was going to be like the last two months, mostly just hanging out with Koujaku and Beni, and occasionally some members of Benishigure. He hadn't considered the _customers._

"Hey, chill out, Ren," Beni said, hopping over to Ren's shoulder, "They're not going to hurt you. Kimiko-chan was just worried that you were trying to cut in line, and she's been here since 5 AM!"

Ren wondered if getting a haircut from Koujaku was really something worth waiting in line for four hours for, but he didn't say that out loud.

"I'll be fine," Ren said, "What still needs to be done to prepare?"

By the time Salon Suzume officially opened its doors for business, Ren was calm and composed enough to greet the first customers – including the girl who had yelled at him earlier – politely without showing signs of his nerves.

"Welcome," he said, with a smile that he hoped seemed sincere and not off-putting, "Please, add your name to our list and have a seat."

After the first few customers, Ren fell into a rhythm of greeting and taking their payments. It was straightforward enough, although he did have to double check with Koujaku a few times on things. As Aoba had warned him, a lot of things went awry, including one memorable moment when Ren mistyped and nearly charged a customer 100,000 yen for her simple cut and style. He had apologized profusely for that mistake, and Koujaku promised her a ten percent discount the next time she came to make up for it.

"I'm really sorry about that, Koujaku," Ren said as the girl left with a handwritten note in her hand promising the discount.

"Mistakes happen," Koujaku said with a shrug, "It's to be expected, especially on the first day. Beni, remind me to get some coupons made, it occurs to me that it's not actually a bad idea."

Beni was perched on the bonsai that Koujaku had brought from his home to decorate the front desk. He raised his wing in a salute, "Okay, boss!"

"Your receptionist seems very nice," Ren heard the next customer say as Koujaku escorted her to the chair, "Is he one of your teammates?"

"Ren? No, he's not a Ribster. He's an old friend of mine."

'Old' friend, huh? Ren thought. Well, they had technically known each other for many years.

"Don't worry about it, Ren," Beni said, "I have a list of eighteen things Koujaku wants me to remind him to do so far, and eight of them are getting supplies he didn't think to buy. And besides, you caught the mistake before she left."

"Thanks." It was a relief to know it wasn't really a big mistake. He patted Beni gently on the head.

"Honestly, Ren, you need to calm down. You're doing fine. Trust me, Koujaku's going to be way harder on himself for his mistakes."

Koujaku had planned to have Salon Suzume open from 9 until 7, but by the time they actually closed the door, it was well past that. Ren couldn't help but be pretty impressed with how smoothly Koujaku had turned away the other girls waiting, without any hurt feelings at all. The next two days were filled with appointments, and a good half of the third day as well.

"Koujaku, you should probably select one day a week for the shop to be closed," Ren suggested once Koujaku had ushered out the last customer in his relentlessly charming way, "With only you as a stylist, you'll need to give yourself a break."

"And you probably wouldn't mind one either?" Koujaku asked with a laugh. He opened his coil and looked at the screen which was displaying their earnings for the day, "Wow. We brought in a lot of money today." He smiled, "I think I'm actually going to be able to make this place work..."

"You must have already been fairly sure you could to commit to opening a salon in the first place," Ren said.

"It's still encouraging to have a good first day," Koujaku said. He looked around and sighed, "I guess I should clean up. You can get out of here if you want, I know we're already past when I said you could go home."

Ren shook his head, "It's fine. I already let Aoba know I would be late. I'll stay until the work is actually finished."

"Ren, you are the kind of guy an employer dreams of," Koujaku said with a laugh, "But seriously, go on home. I'm just going to sweep up, and I've only got one broom. I'll see you tomorrow."

“Alright, if you're certain. I'll see you tomorrow, Koujaku.”

~

It took about a week for them to mostly work out the kinks with running the salon and stop having something go wrong every day. By the end of the second week, Koujaku had settled on the schedule, enough that he had a sign with the hours professionally printed on the door. By the end of the first month, the two of them had pretty much settled into a rhythm. Ren had gotten better at dealing with the customers, but he was happy that he didn't have to make small talk with them the way Koujaku did. It was a lot easier to just chat with Beni whenever he flew over to take his perch in the bonsai tree.

"You know, Ren," Beni said, alighting on his usual spot, "Some of our customers like you as much as they like Koujaku."

"Really?" Ren found that kind of hard to believe. Koujaku was charming and sweet with every woman who walked into his shop, whether she was a fifteen year old high schooler with an incredibly obvious crush, or a sixty-five year old grandmother with three grown children. That was part of his appeal to women, that he treated all of them like princesses who _deserved_ to be treated like nothing less than royalty. Ren on the other hand, was quiet and withdrawn, almost never striking up a conversation with customers. He couldn't imagine how he could be appealing to people he didn't feel comfortable talking to.

"Nine customers this week asked if you're single. I said we don't know." Beni said, "I mean, obviously I know you are, but I thought it would be nice to warn you before we sent any girls your way."

"Ah, thank you for that," Ren said. He had no idea how he might have reacted to a girl asking him out... he would probably just run and hide in the back room.

"So, what sort of girls do you like?" Beni asked, “If there's a girl who's your type, I'll let her know you're available.”

"Um..." Ren said, articulately. "I... don't know?"

"Tall? Short? Quiet or energetic?" Beni flapped his wings, "Come on, just give me a vague idea here!"

"I really don't know," Ren said, "I haven't been looking at girls at all."

Beni went silent for a minute and tilted his head, looking at Ren with a suspicious air, "Ren... are you a homo?"

Ren blinked, "What?"

"Gay! You know, a guy who wants to be with other guys!" Beni explained. "I mean, it's fine if you are, you know. It's not like it makes a difference to _me_ , but would I be totally wasting my time if I set you up with a girl?"

Gay? Well, Aoba was a man, but Ren would love Aoba just as much if he weren't. Ren shrugged, "I - well, I don't really know about that, either... I only have feelings towards one person."

"Who?" Beni asked, "Come on, tell me and I'll help you out, buddy!"

"I... um, I'd rather not say," Ren said. He loved Aoba with all his heart, but they had both agreed that, all things considered, it was probably better to keep their relationship private for now.

"Oh, a you've got a secret crush?" Beni guessed excitedly, "Well, at least tell me if it's a guy or a girl."

"It is a guy," Ren admitted, blushing, "But I would like him if he were a girl, too. I just..." he shook his head.

"Oh, I see..." Beni said. He patted Ren's arm with his wing, "All right then, I won't say anything about your secret crush to anyone. But maybe you can send him a love letter or something. Koujaku gets a lot of love letters, so I could help you write one if you wanted."

"No, I don't need that," Ren said, "But thank you for the offer."

He didn't want to know anything about the love letters that Koujaku got. He saw girls practically throw themselves at Koujaku every day, he didn't feel any desire to see it in writing as well. Besides, his handwriting was still awful.

"You'd prefer that I just stop talking about it, wouldn't you?" Beni asked.

"Yes," Ren said, "I'm sorry, I know you're trying to help, but this is actually making me really uncomfortable."

"Okay," Beni spread his wings in a little shrug, "I won't bring it up again. But I think you really should tell him. You can't know if he likes you back if you don't say anything!"

Ren smiled, "That's true enough, I suppose."

“You'll do it eventually, won't you?” Beni asked.

It wouldn't do any harm to let Beni think that he was being helpful, so Ren nodded and said, “Don't worry, Beni. I'll tell him soon.”

“Good!” Beni said, and took off to fly back over to Koujaku's shoulder.

Ren took out his coil and wrote a quick message to Aoba. 'I love you,' he typed, and sent the message with a smile. Yes, it was important to say that. And he didn't need any love letters to tell him how.

~

The last appointment of the day turned out to be a no-show, which meant that Ren had the task of calling to ask if she wanted to reschedule. He'd only had to do it a handful of times, and he wasn't any more comfortable talking on the phone than he was talking in person. At least with phone calls he didn't have to worry if he was maintaining a pleasant expression while the woman on the other end of the line explained everything that had happened to her for the last week. When he could get a word in edgewise, he scheduled her in a free time they had next week. He took a deep, steadying breath as he hung up the phone.

“So what happened?” Koujaku asked. He always liked to know why an appointment hadn't shown up, in case it was anything he had done wrong and could fix.

“Ah, her older sister needed her to babysit,” Ren said, which had been the actual point of her rambling speech, “She'll come next week.”

Koujaku patted him on the shoulder, “You're getting better at handling the customers.”

“Thank you,” Ren said with a smile. He would probably never be completely comfortable with talking to strangers, but he was certainly getting more practice at Salon Suzume than he would have gotten at Heibon.

"Hey, Ren, do you think you and Aoba would want to join me to celebrate tonight?" Koujaku asked.

"Probably," Ren said with a smile, "What are we celebrating?"

"What are we celebrating?" Koujaku repeated incredulously, "The salon has been open for a month!"

"Ah." Ren said.

"'Ah' he says," Koujaku grumbled, "Come on, Ren, at least pretend to be excited! We've kept this place open for a month and nothing's exploded."

Ren raised an eyebrow, "Was anything particularly likely to explode?"

Koujaku scowled, "I think I liked you better before you discovered sarcasm."

"Sorry," Ren said quickly. He never knew where the line was when it came to teasing Koujaku, and always worried that he might have actually upset him.

"No, it's fine," Koujaku said with a wave, "Anyways, how about it?"

Ren nodded, "It sounds like fun. Will it be at the Black Needle again?" He hadn't tried any other alcohol since that evening, and was just beginning to feel ready for a second try at it. He would listen when Aoba gave him water this time.

Koujaku shook his head, "Well, if you'd prefer that, we can go there. I was just going to invite you and Aoba over to my place. It's been forever since we've just hung out."

"You certainly haven't invited yourself over as often, lately," Ren said, "Tae actually asked about you at dinner last night."

"She did?” Koujaku asked.

Ren grinned, and said, “She said 'has that mooch finally turned into a responsible adult, or has he just fallen off a cliff?' I think she misses you.”

Koujaku laughed, “Yes, obviously! I should come over soon so that Tae-san won't worry about me.”

"I'll let Aoba know," Ren said as he opened his coil.

'Koujaku invited us over,' he typed, 'would you like to spend time with him this evening?'

The response came back quickly, 'That sounds great. It's been so long since we just hung out, I'm beginning to forget what he looks like.'

Ren laughed, and showed the message to Koujaku, who put on an exaggerated pout.

"Forget what _I_ look like? It really _has_ been too long if he could forget my handsome face." He managed to keep a serious expression for all of three seconds before his face broke into a wide grin, “And tell him to tell Tae-san that I'll come over next weekend, if she doesn't mind.”

~

The last time Ren had been in Koujaku's apartment, he had still been in his Allmate body. Aoba and Koujaku had both had their hands full, and Ren vividly remembered Koujaku reaching down and picking Ren up to tuck him into his kimono, rather than making him try to climb the steep staircase in his tiny body with its short legs.

Now, Ren walked up the stairs with ease. The staircase was still steep, but completely manageable for a human, and his body was recovered enough that stairs and walking didn't make him tired. He was grateful for that, but at the same time, he sort of missed being small enough to be picked up and tucked securely in someone's arms. Perhaps it was human nature to never be fully satisfied with the way things were.

Aoba had arrived before them, and was waiting outside Koujaku's door when they got there. He had a shopping bag from the convenience store by their house in his hand, and Ren wondered what he had bought.

"Hey, Aoba," Koujaku said brightly.

"I thought I'd contribute so that we don't drink you out of house and home," Aoba said, "After all, Ren drank a whole lot last time."

Ren blushed, "I'm going to be more careful this time." He really didn't want another hangover. The last one had been so unpleasant.

Koujaku laughed as he unlocked his door, "Aww, but you were such an adorable drunk."

Aoba nodded, "He was."

They entered into Koujaku's apartment, and Aoba went directly to the kitchen with the shopping bag. Koujaku followed him, but Ren stood in the entryway, slightly uncomfortable with just following them. That was ridiculous, but Aoba and Koujaku were so comfortable in each other's homes that they felt no shyness whatsoever about opening up the fridge and helping themselves to whatever was in it. Ren didn't feel like he had reached that level of comfort with Koujaku, and honestly wondered if he ever would. Then again, just standing in the doorway was rude. He finished taking off his shoes and followed them to the kitchen.

"I'm just going to put these in the freezer for a few minutes so they can get cold," Aoba said, opening the freezer.

"Please don't forget and let them explode again," Koujaku said.

"I won't, I won't," Aoba said, "Hey, Beni, can you set a timer for me? Fifteen minutes."

"Sure," Beni said.

Koujaku opened up the cabinet next to the fridge and pulled out a couple of bottles, "Hey, Ren, I have some sweet sake that's a lot more mild that what Mizuki gave you the last time you drank. I think you'll like it. Want some?"

"Ah, alright," Ren said, "I'll try it."

They gathered the drinks and a few glasses and headed out to the living room. Koujaku and Aoba settled on the couch, and Ren hovered for a moment, not quite sure where he should be sitting, but Aoba patted the couch next to him.

"Come on, sit down," he said. He grabbed one of the bottles and examined it, "Seriously, Koujaku? This is the kind of stuff high schoolers sneak when they want to feel like they're being rebellious!"

Koujaku laughed, "And I'm sure you know that from experience, right?"

Aoba stuck his tongue out, "You just don't want to admit you like wimpy drinks."

"Wimpy, but it can still put you on your ass, lightweight," Koujaku teased. He opened the bottle and poured a small amount into a glass which he handed to Ren, "Here. See if you like it."

Ren took a cautious sip. It wasn't exactly what Ren though of as 'sweet', but it was far less bitter than the beer Mizuki had given him the last time he'd tried alcohol.

"It's not bad," he said, "I think I like it better than beer."

"I thought you would," Koujaku poured another glass of the pale liquid and handed it to Aoba, "And one for the lightweight trying to show off."

"I'm not a lightweight," Aoba grumbled, but he took the glass.

"Oh yes you are," Koujaku said with a grin, "I'll never forget that time you got totally drunk and tried to kiss me."

"Wow, you have a really good memory, considering that _that never fucking happened_ , you hippo!" Aoba said, blushing furiously.

Koujaku's grin only got wider, "Are you _sure_ it didn't?"

"Yes, I'm sure it didn't!" Aoba snapped.

"I don't know, Aoba," Ren said, holding back a smile of his own, "I have seen you be very affectionate when you're drunk..."

“I don't just randomly kiss people, drunk or not!”

“Well, there was that one time with Noiz...” Ren reminded him with a smile.

As he expected, Aoba blushed even brighter and sputtered indignantly. “ _That_ does _not_ count!”

“Wait, _what_?” Koujaku asked incredulously, “You kissed _Noiz_? When the hell did that happen?”

“Okay, first of all: _he_ kissed _me_ , _I_ didn't kiss _him_ ,” Aoba said with a scowl, “It was when he came by at Heibon trying to get me to play Rhyme with him. I don't know, maybe he thought he was going to seduce me into agreeing.”

“What a weirdo,” Koujaku said with a shake of his head, “Wasn't that just after he'd _broken into your house_? And threatened you? What the hell is going on in that kid's head?”

“I don't know,” Aoba said with a shrug, “I mean... I don't think he was a _bad_ person or anything, he just... didn't seem to understand people at all. But, anyways, _no,_ I _don't_ go randomly kissing people.”

Aoba threw back the rest of his glass. He held out the empty glass to Koujaku and said, “Come on, give me the good stuff. It's the least you can do for teaching Ren to start teasing me.”

“I'm pretty sure he learned the teasing thing from _you_ ,” Koujaku said with a grin, but he refilled Aoba's glass from a different bottle.

“Perhaps I'm self-taught,” Ren said with a smile. He finished off his drink and held out his glass, “I liked it. May I have some more, please?”

After two glasses of the sweet sake and a can of the beer that Aoba had retrieved from the freezer, Ren was pretty sure he was drunk. It wasn't too bad, he was feeling quite sleepy and relaxed. He didn't really have anything to say, so he just curled up against Aoba's arm and listened to Aoba and Koujaku talk. They always had plenty to talk about, from weird customers to the results of sports games, and never seemed to run out of topics of conversation.

"Ren is the cuddliest drunk I have ever seen," Koujaku said with a laugh, "It's like you forget you're a full-sized person when you're drunk."

"I sometimes miss being small," Ren admitted sleepily, "I liked curling up on your lap..."

Koujaku laughed, "You wouldn't fit anymore."

"I know..." Ren said sadly, “I still miss it.”

“Aww, poor Ren,” Aoba said with a laugh, “Come here.”

He scooted a bit closer to Koujaku, then patted his lap in invitation. Ren smiled and laid down with his head on Aoba's lap. Aoba stroked his hair gently, running his fingers through it.

“Are you falling asleep on me?” Aoba asked.

Ren nodded, “Mm-hm.” Laying with his head in Aoba's lap wasn't really the same thing as being an Allmate who could curl up entirely in Aoba's arms, but it was comfortable nonetheless. Even if he was hungover tomorrow, this alone would make it entirely worth it.

“And you call _me_ a lightweight, Koujaku,” Aoba said with a laugh, “Look at this. Three drinks and he's out.”

“Well, this is only the second time he's drank in his life,” Koujaku said. After a moment a second hand began to pet Ren's head, and he made a happy noise. “Ah, you still act like a puppy sometimes, Ren.”

“He does,” Aoba said, “It's adorable.”

"You're pretty affectionate with Ren, huh?" Koujaku said.

"Is there something wrong with that?" Aoba asked.

"Oh, no, there's nothing wrong with it! Just an observation, is all. It makes sense. I mean, the two of you used to be literally one person. Now it's kind of like you've become twins."

That comparison hit a little close to home, even to Ren's sleepy, alcohol-soaked brain. Aoba used to have a twin, but he had never known him. And the twin Aoba had never known had given them the most profound and beautiful gift. Ren owed Sei a debt he couldn't possibly repay, even if Sei had been alive to be repaid.

"Eh, I guess you could say that. I don't see Ren as a brother, though. Ren is just Ren."

"I know, it's not quite the same thing," Koujaku said, "Still, the two of you are as close as brothers."

Aoba's hand slowed on Ren's hair and there was a suspicious tone in his voice as he said, "Koujaku, say what you actually mean. Is something bothering you about me and Ren?"

"I - " Koujaku started, then paused, "Fuck. I'm such a sappy drunk. Okay, fuck it. I miss you. We don't hang out nearly as much as we used to, and I hear more about you from Ren than I hear from you..."

"You're jealous of Ren?" Aoba asked with a laugh.

Ren wanted to laugh as well, but he was too sleepy for that. Jealous of him? What was there to be jealous of?

"Alright, I admit it," Koujaku said with a sigh, "I'm totally jealous. I barely see you anymore, and I know it's 'cause I'm busy with the salon most of the time – I don't hang out with my team very much outside of matches anymore, either. But Ren goes home and sees you every single day, and this is the first time I've just hung out with my best friend in three months."

"Aw, Koujaku..." Aoba shifted position under Ren's head, "All you had to do was ask. I've missed hanging out with you, too. Neither of us have exactly been making time for each other lately.”

“Yeah. Sorry for getting all...” he trailed off.

“We'll make more of an effort, okay?” Aoba promised, “There's no need for you to be jealous of Ren. _You're_ still my best friend."

There was silence for long enough that Ren was almost truly asleep before he heard Koujaku say, “Thanks. I really needed to hear that.”

“Hippo.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Fun fact: the alternate title for this fic is 'Ren Is The Cutest Thing Ever'.
> 
> Thank you so much to everyone who's left kudos or comments, I can't begin to tell you how much it means to me that you guys like it!


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ren gets jealous and develops a crush. Maybe not in that order, though.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I've settled on an actual update schedule for this fic. From now on, How To Be will update on Tuesdays and Fridays, barring anything unforeseen.

~

Ren didn't have nearly as bad of a hangover when he woke up as he'd had from his first night of drinking, but he did have an awful crick in his neck. Someone had tucked a blanket around him in the night, but he was cramped on the couch that wasn't really long enough for someone of his height to stretch out on. He sat up, and all the muscles in his back protested at the motion.

"Ow..." he moaned softly. He checked his coil for the time. 5:22 AM. He felt fairly well-rested though. He must have fallen asleep pretty early in the evening.

He looked around. Aoba was on the floor on Koujaku's spare futon, looking far more comfortable than Ren felt. Ren considered getting off the couch and crawling in next to him, but he didn't actually feel sleepy. Besides, crawling into bed with Aoba in Koujaku's house probably wasn't keeping their relationship discreet. Then again, drunkenly laying his head on Aoba's lap wasn't exactly keeping it discreet, either, but at least that could be dismissed as the effect of the alcohol. Ren blushed, embarrassed by his behavior now that he was sober.

It was certainly too early to wake up either Aoba or Koujaku for company, so Ren quietly got up and went to the kitchen to get himself a glass of water. He didn't have much of a headache, but his mouth was very dry. He returned to the living room and sat back down on the couch, looking at Aoba's sleeping form. His hair was all over the place, his mouth was wide open, and he was drooling on the pillow.

He was so beautiful... Ren felt an ache in his chest just to look at him. He still wasn't sure exactly how he had been so fortunate. He loved Aoba, Aoba loved him back, and Ren was human and could express his love in any way he so chose.

He thought back to Aoba and Koujaku's conversation the night before and sighed. He truly owed Sei a debt that could never be repaid. Sometimes, he still wondered if Sei would really approve of Ren using his body in this way. Although, it wasn't as though he could take back all the times he had made love to Aoba now, so what could really be done about it if Sei disapproved? He laughed softly. How many times had Ren told Aoba he was thinking too hard? Now here he was doing the same thing...

Though sometimes he really couldn't help but wonder why. Why did Aoba love Ren, out of all the people in the world he could have loved? Ren wasn't anything special. He hadn't even been born as his own person, just a piece of Aoba's own mind... Even now, as a separate person, Ren wasn't anything special.

What would Aoba say if Ren asked him those questions? And really, did the answers even matter? Was the reason for his good fortune even important?

Ren smiled. Aoba – his beautiful, beloved Aoba – loved him in return. That was all Ren needed.

It was nearly an hour later when Koujaku staggered out of his bedroom, looking far worse than Ren felt. He didn't even seem to notice Ren as he went to the kitchen. Ren heard him opening the cabinet and turning on the faucet and a few minutes later he came out with two glasses of water in his hands. He came around the couch and set them down on the table.

"Good morning, Koujaku," Ren said softly.

Koujaku jumped and turned to face Ren, "Oh, damn, you startled me! Did I wake you up?"

"No," Ren said, "I've been awake for about an hour."

"Guess I'm not the only one who wakes up early after drinking," Koujaku said with a soft laugh, "I assumed you'd be like Aoba and sleeping for another four hours at least."

"I slept late last time," Ren said, "I don't think I've drunk often enough to establish a pattern, yet."

"Other than you being a sleepy, cuddly drunk," Koujaku said. He sat down on the couch next to Ren, "You're pretty damn cute, you know."

“I'm not...”

“Sure you are,” Koujaku said with a smile, “When you're drunk, you're still a puppy who wants to be cuddled _._ ”

"It's not just when I'm drunk," Ren said with a blush, "I always like affection, I think I'm just less shy about asking for it when I am."

"That's generally how being drunk works," Koujaku said, and he grinned, "Should I pat you on the head when you do a good job at work?"

Ren looked away, a little bit embarrassed, but he said, "I... actually wouldn't mind that. I know things are different now that I'm human, but I do miss being petted sometimes."

Koujaku was silent for a minute, and Ren wondered if maybe what he'd said had been too much, or somehow inappropriate.

"So... that body you've got now, it was originally part of an experiment to distill cuteness to its purest form, right? 'Cause I swear that's the only possible explanation for how adorable you are."

Koujaku didn't mean it in any sort of malicious way, Ren knew that, but it still gave him a pang for Koujaku to be discussing his body, Sei's most precious gift to him, in such a joking way.

Ren shook his head, "No."

"You sure about that?"

"I am. And I..." he took a deep breath before continuing, "I would prefer if you didn't joke about where my body came from."

"Oh, I'm sorry," Koujaku said, "I didn't mean to offend you."

"I know you didn't," Ren said. "But the person who gave it to me was precious, and I can never repay him for his gift."

"It was... someone you actually knew?" Koujaku asked.

"Yes. His name was Sei," Ren put his hand to his chest, feeling the heart beating underneath his hand. His heart. Sei's heart.

"Sei... you mean, Toue's son?!" Koujaku asked, "The one on the news report with him? _He_ gave you his – that – body?"

"Yes," Ren said, "Sei was... he was sickly. Toue called him his son, but Sei had been an experiment his entire life. He was hanging on just long enough to..."

Ren stopped, shaking his head, "I'm sorry. It's difficult for me to talk about. Sei was kind and generous, and I am so grateful for this miracle he gave me, but I don't always feel... worthy of it. I don't feel like I deserve to be sitting here instead of him. Sometimes I think I can feel a bit of him still sleeping inside of me, but I don't know if it's really him or if it's simply that I don't want to believe that someone as good and kind and generous as Sei could be truly gone."

Koujaku took Ren's hand and squeezed it tightly, "Ren. If Sei was as good as you say he was, and he thought you were worth giving his body to, maybe you should trust his judgment? You're pretty amazing yourself, you know."

Somehow, Ren hadn't really thought of it that way before. He smiled gratefully at Koujaku.

"I understand why you don't want me to joke about where your body came from," Koujaku said, "I'm very sorry for being disrespectful to Sei's memory."

"It's alright. You didn't know. And besides," Ren smiled, "Sei wouldn't have taken offense, I'm sure."

"You look very different from the boy on the news reports," Koujaku said, "But now that you've told me, I can see the resemblance between the two of you."

"This body began to change shortly after I entered it," Ren said, "Don't ask me why. My eyes changed color first, and I grew taller. Sei was originally only one centimeter taller than Aoba."

"Your hair is fluffier, too, and you don't look as thin as Sei did," Koujaku said, “It really changed into your body, then...”

“I suppose it did,” Ren said, “Sometimes it's still hard to think of this as truly being my body, though. I often find myself wondering if Sei would mind if I did this or that...” he stopped, not wanting to describe the 'this or that' that he might do. Koujaku was so understanding, it would probably be okay to tell him about their relationship, but Ren wouldn't say anything without first getting Aoba's approval.

Ren shook his head a bit, and continued, “There's a part of me that almost feels like I don't really own this body, I'm just keeping it safe until Sei returns.”

Koujaku frowned, “Honestly, I hope that doesn't happen.”

“Huh?”

“I didn't know Sei. I do know Ren. Given the choice, I'd rather have you,” Koujaku said.

“Koujaku...” Ren said softly, not sure whether he should be touched that Koujaku cared about him or offended on Sei's behalf.

He was saved from having to answer when Aoba made a very displeased noise from the futon, "Mnngh..."

"Good morning, sleepyhead!" Koujaku called brightly.

"You're loud..." Aoba made another inarticulate sound and reached for his coil. He pulled it close to his face and squinted at the display. "Huhh... 6:30? Why the fuck are you even awake?"

"Have some water," Koujaku said, standing up and grabbing the glass from the table, "I've got painkillers, too, if you need them. You were really putting it away last night, you lush."

Aoba sat up, scowling at Koujaku (or maybe just the world in general, being woken early always put him in a grumpy mood), but he took the glass of water and downed the whole thing in a few gulps.

"Can't believe you woke me up at this hour," he muttered, putting the empty glass down on the floor next to him.

"It was unintentional," Ren said, "Koujaku and I just happened to be awake, so we were talking. I'm sorry we woke you."

"Look at it this way, Aoba," Koujaku said, picking up the glass, "You'll get to see the sun rise."

Aoba frowned, "It's just a reverse sunset, it's not that exciting." He flopped back down on the futon, "You crazy _morning people_ can go talk somewhere else."

Koujaku laughed as Aoba defiantly pulled the blanket over his head.

"Ren, want to help me make some breakfast?" Koujaku asked, "I don't know about you, but I'm hungry."

"That sounds good," Ren agreed, and stood up.

He heard Aoba start snoring again before he'd even left the room.

~

True to his word, Koujaku came over on Friday night to hang out. Tae called him a mooch and a layabout as usual, but she was smiling as she said it. She complimented him on having had his salon open for over a month, and he promised her a free haircut if she came to see him.

“That's no way to run a business, Koujaku,” Tae scolded.

“I know, but you're practically family,” said Koujaku, grinning at her, “And charging family would just be crass.”

She humphed at him, but smiled anyway, “I've already _got_ an idiot grandson.”

After dinner, Ren, Aoba and Koujaku went upstairs to Aoba's room, and Koujaku did stood out on the veranda to have a cigarette. It had been a long time since he'd done that, and Ren had forgotten how relaxed and comfortable he looked at those times. Compared with his behavior with his customers, or even his casual attitude outside of the salon, the Koujaku on the veranda seemed like a completely different person.

He didn't realize he'd been staring at Koujaku until Koujaku looked over at him and smiled. "Want to try?" he asked, offering the cigarette.

Ren considered it. He knew all the health risks associated with smoking, of course, but he couldn't help be a little curious, too...

"Hey, you never offered _me_ a cigarette," Aoba mock whined. It was ruined by the laughing undertone in his voice.

"You've already told me you don't like smoking," Koujaku laughed, "I don't know if you'll like it either, Ren. It's sort of an acquired taste..."

"I'll try it," Ren said.

Koujaku lifted the cigarette to Ren's mouth, and Ren felt momentarily awkward. Koujaku was going to hold it for him? That seemed strangely... intimate. It was probably just so Ren wouldn't drop it or burn himself on the cigarette, but he blushed anyway as he put his lips on it.

"Just inhale," Koujaku said.

This was... an indirect kiss, wasn't it? No, Koujaku certainly wasn't thinking of it like that. Ren breathed in, tasting the bitter smoke...

And started to cough, breaking the strange spell of the last few seconds.

Koujaku laughed, "I should have seen that coming."

Aoba patted Ren on the back, "Yeah, probably."

"You enjoy that?" Ren asked disbelievingly, still coughing.

"Like I said, it's an acquired taste." Koujaku brought the cigarette back to his lips and took another drag, breathing out slowly. Ren watched, fascinated, as the smoke swirled out into the night air.

Koujaku really was a very beautiful man, Ren thought. Not in the same way Aoba was beautiful. Aoba was fine-featured and slender, and his beauty was almost delicate, though he would have hated the word being applied to him. Koujaku, on the other hand, was tall and broad shouldered with scars all over his hands. His beauty was more rough than Aoba's, but also more elegant...

Ren blushed and looked away. Staring at Koujaku like that, thinking about him being beautiful... what had come over him? All of a sudden his heart was pounding, and even though the cigarette had made him choke and cough, he wanted to try it again to have Koujaku's fingers touch his lips.

Oh. _Oh._

This was...

This was what a crush was, wasn't it?

Ren rested his elbows on the railing and dropped his face into his hands to hide his blush. He didn't normally use profanity, but the only word that came to mind was 'fuck.' Koujaku was his friend and Aoba was the one he loved, why did this stupid fluttering in his chest have to come along and complicate things? As if learning to be a human wasn't complicated enough, now he was attracted to his friend, who was also his _boss_.

He would just have to get over it, he decided. Crushes were temporary things, after all. He could ignore it until it went away.

He hoped.

~

Aoba was getting ready to go out, and Ren was very uncomfortable. It was the first time he could ever remember that Aoba had specifically told Ren he didn't want him to come along.

"I promised Koujaku that we could spend some time together, just the two of us," Aoba had explained.

"Did he ask you not to invite me?" Ren had asked, unable to keep the hurt out of his voice.

"No, you know he wouldn't do that. But the two of us haven't spent much time together for the past few months, and I told him that we would."

It wasn't like his reason didn't make sense, or that one-on-one time with his best friend was an unreasonable thing to ask for, but Ren couldn't help but feel very worried anyway. Aoba didn't want him there, and he was going out with _Koujaku_ , of all people...

Ren wondered if he would have been so bothered a few nights ago, before he had realized his crush on Koujaku. The last few days at work had been so difficult, filled with blushing and thoughts popping into his head almost at random, thoughts of kissing Koujaku... or more than just kissing, and _those_ thoughts made him feel so guilty, like he was being unfaithful to Aoba.

It was his stupid, silly crush that was to blame for this baseless anxiety, Ren was sure. Aoba was going to be at Koujaku's place tonight, without Ren, and Ren wasn't sure which one he was feeling more jealous of. There was no reason to be jealous, he knew that, but he couldn't stop imagining that maybe they'd both decide they preferred not to have Ren around... after all, it had been just the two of them for many years, when Ren was just a machine in sleep mode in Aoba's bag.

"Aoba," Ren said, "When Koujaku was teasing you the other night... I've been wondering... did you ever kiss him?"

He wasn't quite sure what impulse had made him ask, but now he couldn't stop thinking about it. Aoba would have done it as a joke, laughing as he pecked Koujaku on the lips, but then maybe he would have lingered just a little bit longer than could be explained as a joke...

"What? No, of course I didn't!" Aoba said with a laugh, "It's just a stupid joke he's made. More than once, actually."

"It's just..." Ren started, "You and Koujaku are so comfortable with each other."

"And if I _had_ ever actually kissed him, we wouldn't be," Aoba said firmly, "Koujaku just tells jokes like that because he's a womanizer, so for him, kissing a guy would be the most ridiculous thing he could ever do. So if he's trying to tease me about having acted ridiculous while I was drunk, kissing a guy is the first thing that comes to mind for him."

"I see," Ren said quietly. He wasn't quite sure what prompted him to probe farther, but he said, "Would you want to?"

"Want to what?" Aoba asked.

"Kiss Koujaku." Aoba gave him a hard stare, and Ren couldn't meet his eyes as he continued, “I mean, he is a good looking man...”

“ _No_ ,” Aoba said, “I mean, just... Seriously, Ren, where is this coming from all of a sudden? Koujaku is good looking. So is that girl who works the register at the convenience store. Thinking someone is good looking doesn't mean I'm going to be overcome with the urge to stick my tongue down their throat."

"I just..." Ren started, then stopped. How could he possibly explain? Though he was learning to be a human and how to have other things in his life, Aoba was still the center of his world. If Aoba ever realized that, really, Ren didn't have all that much to offer, Ren knew he would have nothing left. And it was so easy to imagine that if things had gone just a little differently, Aoba would be with Koujaku, and Ren might still be nothing more than an Allmate, a machine unable to express his love... Maybe even still unaware of what he truly was.

Aoba sighed, "Ren, seriously. Maybe, _if_ I weren't with you and _if_ Koujaku were attracted to men, I _might_ have dated him at some point, but I am with you and he's not interested in men, so it's a moot point and there's no reason for you to be jealous. I love you, and nothing will change that."

He gently took Ren's face in his hands and leaned up to kiss his forehead, "I don't know what you're thinking to suddenly make you this insecure, but you need to stop thinking it, okay?"

“I'm sorry,” Ren whispered.

"It's okay," Aoba said, and gave Ren's forehead another soft kiss, "I've never seen you get jealous like this before. But I guess it's probably a little scary for you to think that maybe I don't want you?"

Ren nodded. Well, it wasn't quite so much the fear that Aoba didn't want him, but that maybe he would discover he wanted Koujaku more... he couldn't get the image of Koujaku and Aoba kissing out of his mind.

"I always want you, Ren. Going out without you for a night isn't going to change that," Aoba said with a laugh, "And when I get home, I promise: I'm still going to want you." He leaned in close to Ren's ear and whispered, "A lot."

Ren shivered, "I'm sorry, Aoba. I haven't felt like this before. I don't like it..."

"Jealousy is a pretty shitty feeling, I know," Aoba said, "But you know you've got nothing to be jealous of, right?"

Ren nodded, "I know. I'm sorry for saying those things."

"Jeez, Ren, you're even cute when you're jealous," Aoba said with a laugh, "I'll be home in a few hours, okay?"

Ren nodded, and did his best not to let his apprehension show when Aoba left. Aoba was just going to hang out with Koujaku, like he'd done for years. Aoba and Koujaku had been friends since they were children, and if Aoba hadn't ever thought of Koujaku in that way before, there was certainly no reason to think he would start now. Ren knew his worry was irrational, but he still couldn't shake it off, no matter how hard he tried to treat it as a normal evening.

“All right, what's bothering you?” Tae asked as Ren washed the dishes from dinner (which had been delicious as usual).

“Nothing, really,” Ren said.

“Don't lie to an old lady, Ren,” Tae said in an irritated tone, “You've been washing that same plate for five minutes.”

“Oh.” Ren put the plate on the drying rack and reached for another one, “Aoba went out with Koujaku alone.”

“I thought it might be that. You two have been pretty much attached at the hip since you recovered enough to go places with him.”

Ren blushed at the choice of words, glad that he wasn't standing where Tae could see his face, “It's not strange for him to want to spend some time with Koujaku. They're best friends, after all. And Aoba shouldn't have to bring me everywhere he goes.”

“That's true,” Tae said, “But it's not strange for you to feel left out, either. Talk to Aoba about it when he gets home, because it's clearly bothering you a lot.”

Ren nodded. He didn't really want to add to the jealous fit he'd thrown earlier, but Tae's advice was sound. Talking about things was important, after all.

“You're probably right,” Ren said.

He went back upstairs after he finished washing the dishes and found a book to read. It was an interesting story, enough to occupy his mind for a few hours until he heard the door open downstairs. He sat bolt upright on the bed, book entirely forgotten as he listened to Aoba coming up the stairs.

The door opened and Aoba came into the room. He saw Ren on the bed and smiled.

“I'm back,” he said, coming over to the bed and sitting down next to Ren.

“Welcome home,” Ren replied, and gave Aoba a hug, “Did you have a good time?”

“I did. I kept worrying about you, though.”

“I'm sorry.” Ren apologized. He really was. He hated to think that his bout of irrational insecurity had in any way spoiled Aoba's good time. Aoba had every right to spend time with his friends without Ren throwing a tantrum about it.

“Don't be,” Aoba said, “I'm just wondering what happened to make you feel so insecure all of a sudden? You haven't done that before, so... let's talk about it.”

Ren looked at his hands, feeling ashamed of himself. “Aoba... you are my entire world. I love you so much that it sometimes makes my chest ache to think about it. And sometimes I can't help but think that really, I don't have much to offer you... I'm lucky to have you. It's so easy to imagine that if things had gone just a little differently, you would be in love with someone else, and I might still be just a machine, not even aware of what I am or how I feel.” He looked up at Aoba, who was looking back with a serious expression. “It's not that I believe you are going to leave me, but... someone like Koujaku is everything you deserve, and I'm just... just Ren.”

He looked down again, unable to meet Aoba's eyes after saying something like that.

“ _Just_ Ren? As though that's not enough.” Aoba's lips brushed his cheek, and Ren looked up to see Aoba looking at him with love shining in his eyes. “You are precious to me _because_ you're Ren. You're who I want.”

He gave Ren a quick, affectionate kiss.

“I do think Koujaku is attractive,” Aoba admitted after he pulled away, “And I'll be honest, I found myself staring at him a lot this evening, 'cause you put the idea in my head.”

“Oh,” said Ren, his heart sinking.

“But _you_ are my Ren,” Aoba said firmly, “And you're everything I need. Never think that being 'just Ren' isn't enough. You are 'just Ren,' and I love you with all my heart.”

“Aoba...”

Ren really had no other words to say in response, but by the way Aoba smiled at him and leaned in for another kiss, Aoba understood his meaning.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Once again, thank you to everyone who commented on, subscribed to, bookmarked or gave kudos to this fic. I didn't reply to all the comments this time around, but I seriously appreciate every last one of them. Thank you all so much!


	5. Bonus!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Bonus chapter(ette). Chapter 5 proper will be up in a few hours, I still need to edit it. (It may be tomorrow. I drove almost 600 miles in the last two days and I am very tired.)

~

"Hey!" Aoba called, waving at Koujaku. Koujaku was standing outside on the landing, leaning against the railing. He was trying to look casual, but Aoba was sure he'd probably been waiting there for a while. He had a tendency to worry when people were more than about five minutes late.

Aoba took the stairs two at a time. It had been forever since it had been just the two of them, and even though he had arranged this for Koujaku's sake, he had been looking forward to it, too. "Sorry I'm late, I had to -"  _reassure my lover, who had a sudden fit of jealousy and thinks I might cheat on him with you_ "- take care of a few things at home before I came."

"That's fine," Koujaku said, "I was just enjoying the fresh air. The weather is finally getting nice again."

Aoba let the obvious fib slide, to let Koujaku keep his dignity, "Yeah, it was really nice today."

"Oh, and speaking of things that happened today," Aoba said with a laugh as Koujaku opened the front door, "I have  _got_ to tell you about this customer who came into the shop today, 'cause it was kind of amazing."

"Yeah? Is this going to be one of your crazy customer stories?" Koujaku asked.

"No, actually, she was really polite and made a normal purchase, but I'm never going to forget her."

Koujaku raised an eyebrow, "What? Is this love at first sight or something?"

"Nah," Aoba said with a laugh, "Just the most eye-gougingly bright clothes you've ever seen. Head to toe, she was in gold clothes. Like, not just bright yellow, mind you – _shiny, metallic gold_. Gold jacket, gold dress, gold leggings, gold shoes! And on top of all that, she had _fluorescent_ orange and pink hair. It was so ridiculous. If you'd seen her outside today I bet you'd be blinded."

"Aoba, I've seen the inside of your closet," Koujaku said with a wry grin, "You don't really have room to talk about other people's clothes..."

"My clothes aren't  _that_ weird," Aoba said defensively, "I mean, I've never blinded anyone on a sunny day. Besides, are you sure you want to criticize me? You dress like you're trying to be an extra in a samurai film."

Although Aoba had to admit to himself that he couldn't really imagine Koujaku in western-style clothes. Even as a kid, Koujaku had always preferred Japanese clothing, and really, it suited him. He looked good in his favorite red kimono.

_Would you want to kiss him?_ Ren had been acting so strange about it... Honestly, the idea of kissing Koujaku was...

Well, it was just silly. Aoba imagined Koujaku being flirtatious and charming at him, the way he was with all of his female fans, and laughed softly. As if  _that_ could ever happen.

“Huh?”

“Ah, I was just remembering something Ren said,” said Aoba, grinning.

“Oh, I see,” Koujaku said, “He... wasn't upset about you not bringing him, was he?”

It had put him into a state of insecurity and jealousy that Aoba was honestly still kind of worried about, but bringing that up would just spoil Koujaku's mood, “He understood why. Besides, he spends time with just you six days a week. It's my turn!”

Koujaku laughed, “Sometimes you still sound just like a little kid. 'It's my turn!' You're so cute.”

Aoba scowled, but couldn't keep it for long. He laughed at Koujaku's smile. He really had missed this. In a way, he had been kind of jealous, too... Ren got to spend almost every day with Koujaku, because he worked at Salon Suzume. Of course, Koujaku had offered Aoba the job, but Aoba knew he'd be way too pissed off if he had to spend all day every day watching Koujaku put on that stupid fake Prince Charming act for the girls. After seeing the real Koujaku, he simply couldn't stand watching him act so fake. But then again, he hated the thought of all those girls seeing Koujaku's real self even more.

"Hey, Koujaku, I'm gonna say something really kind of sappy..." he paused, and fixed Koujaku with a hard stare, "And if you tease me about it later, I'll kick your ass."

Koujaku smiled, "Ah, I won't tease you. I promise."

"I've really missed this.”

“Hanging out with me?” Koujaku asked, “Well, I'm glad to know I'm not the only one.”

“The two of us hanging out, and also just... life feeling normal," Aoba said, "I mean, everything happened at once and it all piled up on me... All that stuff in Platinum Jail only took a few days to happen, but it's taken two years for me to finally feel like everything is alright again."

"Yeah. I think I understand what you mean," Koujaku said, "A lot changed all at once, so of course it took a long time for you to get used to it all. I'm glad you have."

"It's not exactly about getting used to it," Aoba said, "I got used to missing Ren when I thought he was gone for good, but it never felt _normal._ It was sort of like when you left Midorijima when we were kids. I got used to you not being there, but I always still missed you - " he stopped talking, suddenly embarrassed. What was he doing, saying all this stuff? He hadn't even had anything to drink yet!

Koujaku was looking at him with a smile, his chin resting in his hand, "No, no, go on. You were saying how you missed me?"

"Hippo," Aoba grumbled.

"You got taller, but you're still that same cute kid," Koujaku said.

"Shut up!" Aoba snapped, blushing furiously, "Or I'll share the photos I took of you when we were drinking the other night with your fans."

Koujaku snorted, "What photos? You fell asleep first and woke up last."

"Actually, Ren fell asleep first," Aoba corrected, smiling fondly as he remembered it, "But it's not like I couldn't get embarrassing photos of you if I set my mind to it."

“Oh, I don't doubt that one bit,” Koujaku said with a laugh, “You can be very devious.”

“And don't you forget it,” Aoba said, relaxing back against the couch. “I'm starving. You gonna feed me or what?”

Koujaku ordered in from their usual restaurant, and the two of them sat on the couch, eating dinner and arguing over which movie to watch. It wasn't really that they had radically different tastes in movies or anything, more that it was more fun to argue over the movie that actually watch one.

Aoba wasn't really paying much attention to the movie anyway when they finally picked one. His mind kept going back to earlier. Ren had seemed so upset, and Aoba felt guilty about that, though he still didn't know what had first put the idea into Ren's head...

_Would you want to kiss him?_

Aoba looked over at Koujaku, who was licking a bit of sauce off his fingertip. His lips were slightly parted, and his hands seemed graceful as always, despite the scars... it was an oddly sensual look for him.

_Well, fuck, Ren, now that you've brought it up..._ Aoba thought. It was still ridiculous. Koujaku liked _girls,_ his fake Prince Charming act was the exact opposite of a turn on, and dammit, Aoba was finding himself wondering if Koujaku was really as skilled as his reputation suggested... What would it be like to kiss Koujaku? He had very pretty, full lips. Aoba had never really noticed that before.

Koujaku noticed Aoba looking at him and raised an eyebrow in question. There was a bit of rice on his face, and Aoba grinned. Koujaku teased him about being a kid, but he could still be such a messy eater.

“You've got something on your face,” Aoba said. He reached over and rubbed his thumb near the corner of Koujaku's mouth, “Got it.”

“Ah, thanks.”

Aoba pulled his hand back, suddenly feeling ashamed of himself. What the fuck was he doing? Sitting here fantasizing about Koujaku, while Ren was sitting at home worried that Aoba might cheat on him. And it was a valid fear, apparently, because Aoba hadn't even been thinking about Ren while he was staring at Koujaku's lips.

What the _fuck_ was wrong with him?

Ren, his precious, beloved Ren... Aoba felt almost as guilty as if he actually had cheated, just for thinking about betraying Ren in that way. Aoba would go home and apologize for making Ren worry, cover him with kisses and remind Ren (and himself), that Ren was the love of his life. He found Koujaku attractive, and of course he cared about him as a friend, but Aoba loved _Ren_.

Koujaku laughed at the movie, completely oblivious to the tumultuous thoughts going through Aoba's head. Aoba almost resented him for it. Aoba was having a crisis because of Koujaku, and Koujaku didn't even notice, the bastard.

Although, really, it wasn't fair to blame Koujaku for Aoba's wandering eyes. It wasn't like Koujaku had put the moves on him or anything, he just happened to be an attractive man, and Aoba was really noticing it now, prompted by Ren's worries.

When the credits on the movie finally rolled, Aoba's thoughts had settled down a bit, although he still felt guilty.

"You okay, Aoba?" Koujaku asked, "You been really quiet for the last hour..."

"Yeah, I'm fine. It's just been a long day."

"Ah, I see. Well, it's late so do you want to crash here tonight? I can pull out the futon for you."

Aoba shook his head, and stood up from the couch, "No, I'd rather sleep - "  _with Ren_ "- in my own bed tonight. But thanks for the offer."

"Alright," Koujaku said, “Text me when you get home?”

“Sure.”

~


	6. Chapter 5

~

"Ah, Ren-san?" One of the customers paused at the desk after paying.

"Is there anything else?" Ren asked with a polite smile.

She smiled in return, but it had an edge to it that made Ren a little nervous. "Would you like to go out for dinner with me this weekend?"

"I - um, I - " Ren stammered.

She handed him a piece of paper with her name and a phone number on it, "Call me if you decide yes. I really like you a lot, Ren-san."

Ren was only able to stare as she left the salon. Had he ever had even a sentence of conversation with that girl? He was certain that the only things he'd ever said to her had been 'welcome', 'your total is...', 'would you like to schedule your next appointment?' and 'have a nice day.'

She'd never even introduced herself to him. He only knew her name was Yukari because of the name on her payments. He was still feeling fairly shell-shocked as they closed up shop half an hour later.

"You okay, Ren?" Koujaku asked, "You're really quiet this evening."

"Koujaku... why would a girl who's never had a conversation with me say she likes me and give me her phone number?" Ren asked. He truly didn't understand it at all...

"So you got a girl's phone number? Good for you, Ren!”

“I don't even know her,” Ren protested, “We've never talked, how can she say she likes me?”

“She finds you attractive enough that she wants to try and get to know you better,” Koujaku explained, “It's not exactly uncommon, although girls don't do it as often as guys.”

“I see...”

“So, are you going to call her?" Koujaku asked with a grin.

"I... um, probably not," Ren said, looking at his shoes, “That just... made me uncomfortable.”

"Direct girls aren't your type, huh?" Koujaku laughed, "I'm not surprised, but, honestly, Ren, you're so shy with people it's going to have to be a girl who approaches you unless you actually man up and talk to one."

"No, it's just that I'm not looking for a girlfriend," Ren said.

"Why not?" Koujaku asked, "I mean, you did say that you wanted to define yourself as your own person. Having a girlfriend might help with that, after all."

"I'm just not interested in girls," Ren said softly.

"Huh?"

"Ren is _gay_ , boss!" Beni blurted, apparently losing his patience, "He doesn't want to date girls, 'cause he likes guys!"

Koujaku was quiet for a long moment. Ren dared a glance up at him and saw that Koujaku was staring, wide-eyed and mouth slightly open.

"I... I know it makes some men uncomfortable to be around..." Ren started, but Koujaku cut him off with a wave of his hand.

"No, no! It's okay!" Koujaku said quickly, "Really, it doesn't matter if you like guys, it just kind of surprised me. There's nothing wrong with it! I mean, even I sometimes look at a guy and see that he's good looking, even if I only want to date girls, so it really doesn't bother me at all."

He smiled reassuringly, "Really, I don't care if you're into guys. I have a teammate who's gay, too, you know. And I'm pretty sure he's single, if you maybe wanted to try going on a date with him. I'm sure he'd think you're cute."

Ren shook his head, "No, thank you, Koujaku-san."

"Ren's got a crush on someone specific," Beni said.

Ren grimaced. He usually liked Beni's blunt nature, but right now he kind of wanted to throw the little bird across the room... or maybe just melt into the floor. He was embarrassed and put on the spot and he didn't like that feeling at all.

"Really?" Koujaku asked. He paused for a moment, "It's not me, is it?”

Ren blushed. A month ago he could have said no, but he certainly did have a crush on Koujaku _now_ , and the stupid thing still hadn't gone away yet...

“'Cause I like you just fine as a friend and all, but I'm not into guys..."

"I'm with Aoba!" Ren blurted, his face hot, "Aoba and I are together, so please stop trying to set me up with people I don't know!"

Koujaku was silent. Ren looked up at him, and the two of them stared at each other in silence for a long, long time. Koujaku's face was totally blank, Ren had no idea what he was thinking. Was he angry? Disgusted? That might be it... Ren being gay was one thing. Ren being with Aoba, who he'd once been just a part of... He had thought that if anyone could understand and accept that, it would be Koujaku, but maybe not.

After what felt like hours of silent staring, Koujaku got to his feet. He turned and left the back room without a word, and a moment later, Ren heard the bell on the front door chime. Nervously, he stood up and looked out into the main room. There was no one there. Koujaku had left the shop.

Ren felt sick to his stomach, his chest was clenching and he could barely breathe. Koujaku had left? Why? He hadn't said a word... he hadn't even made a sound.

His knees gave out under him, and he sat down heavily on the floor. Koujaku was disgusted. Koujaku hated him. His hands trembled as he activated his coil and called Aoba.

"Hey, Ren," Aoba said brightly when he picked up, "Working late again?"

Ren couldn't make himself speak.

"Ren?" Aoba asked, "You there?"

"Aoba..." Ren managed to choke out.

"Ren? What's wrong?"

"Koujaku hates me!" Ren said, panic building in him, "I'm sorry, I didn't mean to tell him but I blurted it out and he just _left_ \- "

"Woah, slow down!" Aoba said, "Start from the beginning. What happened? Why on earth would you think Koujaku hates you? Did the two of you have a fight?"

"No, I told him... I told him about us," Ren admitted, "I didn't mean to, I blurted it out accidentally, but I told him that we were together and he just left..."

"He _left?"_ Aoba echoed, "That doesn't sound like Koujaku. What did he say?"

"Nothing!" Ren cried, "He didn't say _anything!_ He just stared at me, and then he got up and left the salon. He didn't even turn out the lights or lock up!" Ren almost choked trying to get the words out. He was going to cry any second now. His first real friend couldn't accept him, _hated_ him for who he loved.

Aoba was quiet on the other end of the line for a while, then he said, "Ren, calm down, alright? Just lock up the store and come home. I'm sure Koujaku is just surprised. He's not the kind of guy who would suddenly hate his friends. Especially not over something like this."

It would have been more reassuring if Aoba hadn't sounded so uncertain, but Ren wiped his eyes and took a deep, shaky breath.

"Come on home and we'll have dinner," Aoba said, "Granny's making sukiyaki tonight..."

"Alright," Ren said weakly, "I'll be home soon."

"Ren," Aoba said softly, "I love you. Everything's going to be fine, I promise."

"I love you too, Aoba," Ren whispered, and hung up the phone.

He was very slow about closing up, half hoping that Koujaku might come back and talk to him, and half dreading it. What would he even say? Was there any possible interpretation of Koujaku walking out like that which _wasn't_ that Koujaku hated him? He didn't want to believe that was true. Koujaku was always kind, always friendly, always reassuring Ren when he got worried or made a mistake. That _couldn't_ have changed... and yet, it was hard to find another explanation.

By the time Ren locked the door behind him and left, Koujaku still hadn't returned, and Ren walked slowly home with a sinking feeling.

On a more practical level, what would he do if Koujaku hated him now? He would have to quit at Salon Suzume, obviously. Koujaku wouldn't want to work with someone who disgusted him. Could he find a different job? Perhaps Haga-san would be willing to hire him back at Heibon and Ren could spend all day with Aoba again.

Aoba. What did Koujaku think of Aoba now that he knew? Would he be disgusted with Aoba, too? Had he not only wrecked his own friendship with Koujaku, but Aoba's as well? That couldn't be, Koujaku and Aoba had been friends since they were children. Something like that couldn't possibly end in an instant, could it?

Aoba greeted him at the door when he arrived home. He took one look at Ren's face and hugged him tightly, "It's going to be _fine,_ Ren. I promise."

Ren was sort of reassured, but he was quiet and subdued throughout dinner, to the point that Tae put down her bowl and gave him a searching look. "Alright, what happened?"

Ren didn't want to tell her. Even though he was almost certain that Tae already knew about his and Aoba's relationship, they hadn't ever spoken about it, and explaining what had happened today with Koujaku would require acknowledging it. Aoba came to his rescue while Ren was debating what to say.

"Ren and Koujaku had a fight today at work and Koujaku walked out on him," Aoba said.

"Ah, is that so?" Tae said. She looked like she knew it wasn't quite the truth, but she was willing to accept it as an answer, "There's no need to look so upset, Ren. Koujaku can be hot headed on occasion, but he always gets over it quickly. He'll be ready to talk by tomorrow."

"Yeah," Aoba agreed, "Seriously, Ren, it's going to be fine. If Koujaku doesn't try to work it out tomorrow morning, call me and I'll come over and kick his ass for you." He looked at Tae and laughed, "Or maybe I'll send you to do it, Granny!"

She snorted, "I stay out of your childish arguments for a reason. Eat your dinner, Ren."

Ren managed a weak smile and took a bite of food. He hoped that they were right.

~

Ren didn't sleep well that night. He tossed and turned all night and by the time it was time to get up for work, Ren felt like even more of a complete mess than he had the previous night. He looked it, too. Even after washing his face and combing his hair, he had dark circles under his eyes, and he looked tired and worried.

"Ren..." Aoba said softly, coming up behind him and giving him a firm hug, "You know I love you no matter what. It's going to be fine."

"What if it's not?" Ren whispered, "What if Koujaku can't accept this?"

"If he can't accept that we love each other..." Aoba took a deep breath, "Then he's not the person I thought he was, and fuck him."

"Aoba!" Ren turned around to look at him, stunned.

"I'm serious," Aoba said, "I mean, I'm not saying I'll be happy if that's the case, Koujaku is my best friend and I hate to think that could change. But if he can't accept it and wants to cut us out of his life, then that's _his_ choice. It's not going to change the fact that I love you. Nothing could change that. Ever."

"Aoba..."

"I don't think that's what's going to happen," Aoba said, "Koujaku is an idiot sometimes, but he's not hateful. But I want you to know that even if other people think it's wrong, they don't matter. I love you, and I want to be with you. As long as you feel the same way, I don't give a fuck what anyone else feels about it."

He stood on his tiptoes and kissed Ren gently. When they parted, he smiled and said, "So yeah, everything will be fine."

Despite all Aoba's reassurances, anxiety was still gnawing in the pit of Ren's stomach when he left for work, but it was a little less strong than it had been earlier. Even in the worst-case scenario, Aoba would still love him, after all. And nothing could ever, ever stop Ren from loving Aoba.

His hands still shook as he opened the door to Salon Suzume. Koujaku was standing at the front desk. The two of them stared at each other in silence for a moment, then Ren entered the shop. Neither of them spoke as Ren went to his usual spot at the desk and turned on the computer.

Ren heard Koujaku take a deep breath.

"Hey," he finally said.

It was such an ordinary greeting that Ren wasn't quite sure how to respond. Should he say 'good morning' like usual? Were they going to pretend like Koujaku hadn't just walked out without a word last night? He bit his lip nervously and gave Koujaku a stiff nod in response.

"Fuck," Koujaku swore, "Ren, I am really, really sorry about last night. That was an asshole thing to do. I don't hate you, and we're still friends, although I wouldn't blame you one bit if _you_ didn't want to be friends with _me_ after I pulled that stunt."

"Why did you... react like that?" Ren asked, "Were you disgusted?"

"What? No!" Koujaku said. He rubbed the back oh his head, "It's kind of hard to explain... I mean, it just kind of gave me the biggest mental misstep ever. I thought I knew Aoba better than anyone, so finding out... I mean, it's weird. The whole thing is weird. _You_ existing at all is weird."

Ren said nothing. He wasn't sure this apology was actually making him feel any better about where he stood with Koujaku.

"Sorry, I'm not explaining this very well," Koujaku sighed, "Look, the point is that you make Aoba really happy. Right after Platinum Jail, when he thought you were gone, Aoba was miserable. I've never seen him so miserable in all the time I've known him. Even after time had gone by and he'd gotten used to being without you, I could tell that he was still really unhappy. So when you came back... I'm pretty sure I know exactly when he found out you were alive, long before he ever told anyone about you, because his mood changed entirely. He was so happy to have you back. And he's happy with you now."

Koujaku smiled at Ren, "And really, that's the important part, right? Since you came back, Aoba is the happiest he's ever been. It doesn't matter how weird it is. If I couldn't accept that my best friend is happy, I'd be an asshole."

Ren wasn't quite sure what to say in response, and after a moment Koujaku was the one standing silently, worrying his bottom lip.

"Ren?"

"I'm not angry at you," Ren said, "I was just worried that you hated me..."

Koujaku grimaced, "Yeah. Aoba sent me a message to that effect. Look, I really am sorry. I'm probably going to have to say it a bunch more times to make up for worrying you like that, but I mean it. You're a great guy, you're my friend, and I'm glad to have you working for me. And I'm glad you're with Aoba and making him so happy."

He took a deep breath, and added, “And honestly, I was thinking about it all night, and I realized... I can't think of anyone who would be better for Aoba than you are. He's lucky to have you.”

Ren shook his head, “No, I'm lucky to have him.”

“Yeah,” Koujaku said with a wistful expression, “You two are lucky. Love like that is hard to find.”

There was something brittle in his tone as he spoke, and his words seemed to hint at... something Ren couldn't quite put his finger on. Was this just related to before, when he'd admitted to Aoba that he was jealous of how much time Ren got to spend with him? Aoba had been seeing Koujaku more lately, and Koujaku had been coming over to the Seragaki residence regularly again, but it was probably painful to realize that your best friend was keeping a huge secret from you.

Ren couldn't help but feel like there was more to it than that, though.

"Aoba and I..." he started, "We thought that, all things considered, it would be best to keep our relationship discreet. We had wanted to tell you for a little while before I blurted it out, though. We just hadn't had a good time to do so yet."

Well, he didn't actually know if that was strictly true. _Ren_ had wanted to tell Koujaku, but he hadn't had a chance to ask Aoba how he felt about it. It was _probably_ the truth.

Koujaku stayed silent, his expression almost as blank as it had been last night. Ren gulped nervously.

"That's what upset you, right? Thinking that Aoba didn't trust you enough to tell you about us?" Ren asked. If Koujaku wasn't disgusted, that was the most likely explanation.

"Yeah, that..." Koujaku paused, cleared his throat, and started again, "I'm not going to lie, that hurt."

"It wasn't that we were trying to keep it a secret from you," Ren said quickly, "You're Aoba's best friend, after all. And... mine too." he added, blushing.

Koujaku blinked in surprise, then let out a rueful laugh, "Yeah, some best friend I am. I'm an asshole. I don't know why anyone puts up with me."

"Oh, don't say that!" Ren cried. Koujaku was so confident, hearing those self-deprecating words come out of his mouth just seemed so _wrong_. Ren didn't want him to be angry with himself for even a moment longer. "You were shocked and hurt, but you're not... We don't 'put up' with you! You're wonderful, Koujaku!"

Koujaku laughed again, "Wonderful, huh?"

Ren blushed deeply. He really hadn't meant to say _that_ word in particular, but he would stick with it. He nodded, "Yes. Wonderful."

"Well, if I'm so wonderful, then why - " Koujaku stopped, and shook his head, "Never mind. I mean, if you can forgive me for acting the way I did, then... things are okay between us, right?"

Ren nodded, "Yes. I forgive you. I'm not mad at all."

Koujaku let out a little sigh of relief, "Good. I'm glad."

With a relieved smile, Ren took his usual spot at the front desk. They were fine. Koujaku didn't hate him or Aoba, and wasn't disgusted by their relationship. He knew the truth now, and nothing had changed.

Ren felt like his usual self by the time the salon opened and the first appointment of the day entered. Everything went as normal. Koujaku dyed her hair in the eye-watering pink that she'd asked for, and she thanked him with a kiss on the cheek when he finished, making Ren's gut twist a bit...

Unfortunately, he thought as she paid, it seemed like his crush hadn't changed, either.

The rest of that day was tense, despite how hard Ren and Koujaku tried to behave normally. There was no joking banter between customers, and they ate lunch together mostly in silence. Ren also noticed that Koujaku seemed to be avoiding touching him. He hadn't realized just how many casual touches they shared throughout the day until they stopped happening.

Aoba came to pick Ren up from work, although he'd disappeared into the back room with Koujaku and had a long talk with him while Ren sat out front with Beni, trying to resist the urge to eavesdrop. When the two came out, Aoba was smiling and calling Koujaku a hippo.

He held Ren's hand all the way home, and when Ren asked what he and Koujaku had talked about, Aoba only said, "We worked it out."

And that, it seemed, was that.

~

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is a short chapter, but the next one is going to be really long. I'm too tired from my trip for a long note here, but thank you again to everyone who gave feedback! It means so much to me!


	7. Chapter 6

~

Life had a way of getting back to normal. Though Ren's accidental coming out had made things awkward at first, it was only a few weeks before Koujaku had gotten used to it, and the awkwardness had mostly faded. Ren suspected that at least some of that had to do with how carefully Aoba was making sure to include him in things now. He would invite Koujaku over for dinner and stop to talk with Koujaku for a while whenever he came to pick Ren up at the salon. Once or twice a month, they would go to the Black Needle for drinks.

Well, it wasn't as though Ren minded having Koujaku around so much. He liked Koujaku, and if he was still having a bit of a guilty crush over him, well, it wasn't like he was doing any more than _looking_. And perhaps getting a bit more cuddly than was really appropriate when they went out to drink. Although Ren felt somewhat guilty about that, he didn't feel guilty enough to stop going out with Koujaku and Aoba. Maybe it was just nice to have an excuse to be openly affectionate in a public setting.

It was still fairly early in the evening when they reached the Black Needle and grabbed the booth that, Ren supposed, could be considered more or less theirs by this point. Mizuki greeted them with a smile and a wave, and Koujaku walked over to the bar to get them drinks.

"Give Ren something mild this time," Koujaku said with a laugh, "He's even more of a lightweight than Aoba."

Mizuki gave him a thumbs up and pulled some bottles from behind the bar. Ren didn't even protest. He was absolutely a lightweight. The last time they'd gone out drinking, at the end of the night Ren had hugged Mizuki and loudly declared him to be his favorite person in the entire world.

There were still only a few people in the bar, but Ren barely registered it when the door opened and someone else walked in.

"Welcome!" Mizuki called.

Then everything went straight to hell all at once.

Koujaku froze, and dropped the drinks he was carrying back to their table. Ren looked up at the noise to see Koujaku standing there with an expression he'd never seen before, shock turning into rage. He stared at the man who had just entered, an older man in a blue kimono with a dragon on it and a distressingly large amount of skull jewelry.

"You..." Koujaku said, his voice low and dangerous.

The man raised an eyebrow at him, "I'm sorry, have we met?"

"Don't you fucking _dare_ say you forgot,” Koujaku growled. It was a frightening sound.

The man's face broke into a smile, “Ah, that expression jogged my memory. How could I ever forget about you, Koujaku?” He crooned Koujaku's name in a tone that made the hair on the back of Ren's neck stand on end. “I never was able to complete my greatest work...”

“Shut up!” Koujaku snapped, “What the hell are you doing here?”

“Admiring this lovely studio,” the man said with a smile, "I do love to see what younger artists can accomplish."

"Koujaku?" Mizuki asked, "Do you know this man?"

"This _bastard_ ," Koujaku said, his voice filled with hatred, "Is the reason you don't show your neck anymore, Mizuki."

Mizuki's hand went to his collar. Ren hadn't actually seen his scar from the skin grafts he'd had to get, Mizuki always wore high-necked shirts these days, but Aoba had told him about them. This man had something to do with Morphine?

"You don't?" the man asked, apparently completely unconcerned by Koujaku's behavior, "Ah, Mizuki-kun, that's a shame. Your tattoo was so lovely."

"I don't - " Mizuki started to say, but was cut off by the sound that came from Koujaku.

Koujaku was growling. It was a literal growl, deep in his throat, his teeth bared like an angry dog. It wasn't just his behavior that seemed strange, he _looked_ strange. His hair looked redder, and his body seemed larger, even as his shoulders hunched like a predator ready to spring.

"Ah, Koujaku, did you forget my warning?" the man asked, still smiling as though nothing was wrong, "I did tell you to be careful. I would love to see the results of my work, but this location isn't where I would prefer. It would be disrespectful to Mizuki-kun to use his studio for my work."

Still growling, Koujaku reached for his sword.

Ren surged to his feet. He wasn't quite sure what was happening, but he was certain that he had to stop Koujaku somehow. He reached his friend as Koujaku took a swing at the man with his sword. The man stepped nimbly out of the way, but the blade had come close to him. Very close. Koujaku swung again, and this time missed because Ren reached out and grabbed his arm.

"Koujaku!" he yelled, "What are you doing?!"

Koujaku didn't even seem to hear Ren, letting out an inarticulate sound of rage.

Holding Koujaku back was hard. Ren was pretty close to Koujaku in size, but Koujaku regularly had Rib matches, and he was a lot more physically fit than Ren was. He didn't seem to even realize that Ren was there, desperately trying to get a grip on Koujaku's arms without getting in the way of the wildly swinging sword when -

_"Stop!"_

Aoba's voice rang through the bar, and all motion stopped. Ren looked around, and realized that he seemed to be the only one who could do so. The other patrons were frozen in place, and Koujaku was twitching under his grip, but not moving. The man with the skulls was gone, apparently he'd slipped out the door while Ren was trying to get Koujaku under control.

Aoba hadn't used Scrap since Platinum Jail. Ren looked at him and he was breathing hard, but he didn't seem to be in pain. Nor did it look like Desire had broken loose to go on a rampage. Ren relaxed slightly, and let go of Koujaku.

"Aoba..." he said.

Aoba looked around at the bar full of frozen people, "Fuck. I didn't mean to do that much."

This hadn't been an instinctive reaction, then, but purposeful use of his powers. Ren would have been a little bit more concerned about that had he not been more worried about the fact that Koujaku seemed to be shaking off the effects of Aoba's voice very quickly.

_"Koujaku,"_ Aoba said, his power ringing out clearly again. Koujaku turned his attention towards Aoba, moving slowly, like his limbs were weighed down by the power of Aoba's words.

Ren looked around, unsure of what to do. There weren't many people in here, but Koujaku had just loudly and visibly _lost his mind_ in the middle of the bar... Aoba met his gaze. He seemed to be thinking the same thing.

He seized Koujaku by the wrist and pulled him towards the door. _"Come on,"_ he ordered, and Koujaku followed.

There was no sign of the man when they got outside, and Aoba pushed Koujaku's wrist into Ren's hand.

"Hang on to him," Aoba said, and ducked back into the Black Needle.

Ren watched Koujaku carefully. He didn't look like he was still in that strange, animalistic rage, but he did look like he was still under the effects of Aoba's Scrap. His expression was oddly blank, and his wrist sat limply in Ren's hand. Ren couldn't help but feel worried about that. Aoba hadn't gone inside Koujaku's mind, but he could probably do plenty of damage with only his commands...

Aoba reemerged from the Black Needle after a moment and looked at Koujaku with obvious worry.

"Koujaku..." he said. He trailed off, seeming to think for a minute, then he said, _"Wake up."_

That command seemed to snap Koujaku back to normal, for he suddenly gasped, jerking his hand out of Ren's grip.

"What did you - " he started to say, but Aoba cut him off.

"I'm sorry," Aoba said, "I didn't know what else to do."

Koujaku's face filled with shame and he dropped his gaze to the sidewalk, "I... need to - "

"We're taking you home," Aoba said firmly. He wasn't using Scrap, but his tone still suggested that there would be no argument.

Koujaku nodded silently.

None of them spoke for the entirety of the walk to Koujaku's apartment. By some unspoken agreement, Aoba took the lead, and Ren walked behind. It felt almost as though Koujaku was a prisoner they were escorting, but Ren dreaded the thought of what might happen if Koujaku just decided to bolt. That wasn't just a regular fight, Koujaku had been trying to _kill_ that man. Ren didn't understand what their conversation had meant, but they had history, and clearly none of it was good.

Koujaku hadn't just been angry, he'd been _enraged,_ and it looked like that rage had physically changed him. Ren's first thought was that that was ridiculous and impossible, and then he remembered exactly how he'd come to have a human body. Perhaps he shouldn't discount a possibility as being too farfetched.

They reached Koujaku's home and Aoba's held his hand out for Koujaku's key, which Koujaku handed over almost meekly. They went inside, still without a word, and Aoba gestured for Koujaku to sit down on the couch. Koujaku did, staring at his hands, and Aoba sat next to him. Ren sat on Koujaku's other side, not sure what he should do or say.

They sat in silence for almost a full minute before Aoba finally spoke.

"Care to explain what the hell that was?" he asked. He sounded angry, but Ren could detect an undertone of fear in his voice. Fear _of_ Koujaku, or fear _for_ him? Maybe both.

Koujaku didn't speak. He didn't even move, not looking at either Ren or Aoba.

"Who was that man?" Aoba asked, "Why did you attack him?"

Koujaku still said nothing.

"Answer me!" Aoba yelled.

"I can't," Koujaku finally spoke.

"Why not? Koujaku, you tried to _kill_ that guy. Tell us why!"

Koujaku shook his head.

"Koujaku," Ren said softly, "Please. Tell us what's happening."

He reached for Koujaku's hand, but as soon as his fingers brushed Koujaku's scarred ones, Koujaku yanked his hand away. Ren pulled back as well, hurt by the rejection.

“Koujaku...” Aoba said softly. The anger had left his voice, replaced by concern. Koujaku looked up at him, an expression on anguish on his face.

“You know you can tell me anything,” Aoba murmured. His voice sounded so alluring that _Ren_ almost wanted to say something. Was Aoba using Scrap to make Koujaku tell his secrets? It wasn't the usual irresistible command, or his cajoling tone used on customers on the phone, but it felt like there was power in his words nonetheless.

“Aoba...” Koujaku said, “I can't. Not this. Not even to you. I can't tell you.”

“ _Please,”_ Aoba said. “Koujaku, I've never seen you like that before. It was frightening.”

This time, Ren was certain that he wasn't using Scrap, just a little bit of regular emotional manipulation. It seemed to work, because Koujaku flinched, his eyes darting nervously around the room. His gaze landed on Ren, and Ren knew that he should say something.

“In all the years I've known you,” Ren said softly, not breaking eye contact with Koujaku, “I have never seen you in a rage like that. I didn't think it was possible. Who was that man, if he's someone who can make _you_ genuinely _angry?”_

“He...” Koujaku took a shaky breath, and when he released it, it came out as a sob, “He's the reason I...”

He stopped talking, and slowly, deliberately lifted his hand to his face and lifted the lock of hair that always hung in front of it. For a moment, Ren stared at the harsh black lines that flowed around his eye without realizing what they were. And then, suddenly, he realized.

It was a tattoo.

“He's the one who... did this to me,” Koujaku said.

Ren had been aware, of course, that Koujaku had a tattoo – he had seen little glimpses of it frequently, in the gap in his kimono. He had seen it even more since he'd had developed his crush and started staring at Koujaku all the time. He hadn't thought about it much, though. Most Rib players had tattoos, after all. Then again, now that Ren considered it, it didn't look like it was part of Benishigure's tag art, and it never had.

"Koujaku..." The reveal only gave him more questions.

"My father was the leader of a yakuza family," Koujaku said softly, "My mother... she wasn't... she was my father's mistress. His wife hated her, and my father would beat her because she would let him. She never fought back or stood up for herself, she would always say it was her fault. She was so gentle... when we first came to Midorijima, it was after his wife had attacked my mother. She nearly died, and we ran away here, to the island...”

“We were happy here,” Koujaku said, “I never wanted to go back, and my father was happy to pretend we didn't exist until his wife... she found out that she couldn't have children. So he called us back. He'd decided I was going to be his heir. And it was even worse when we went back. Before I was the heir, he just wanted me to be quiet and not underfoot. Afterward, he wanted to make me -" Koujaku's breath hitched “- he wanted to make me just like him. If I defied him, even in the smallest way, he'd punish me by hurting my mother.”

Koujaku took another deep, trembling breath, “The man in the bar. My father made me get my back tattooed, and the one he hired for the job was Ryuuhou. It took almost a year, and he – he enjoyed how much it hurt me. He'd mock me for my rage. I hated him. I hated my father. I hated all of them. I even – I even hated my mother, for giving in and taking me back there. That's why... that's why I...”

Ren touched Koujaku's shoulder, and the taller man almost seemed to crumble. He brought his hands up to his face and sobbed. Aoba put his arms around Koujaku and gently pulled him close. Koujaku let out the most _broken_ sound Ren had ever heard, and all but melted into Aoba's embrace, weeping.

"Koujaku," Aoba said softly, stroking his hair, "It's okay, I'm here..."

Koujaku shook his head and pulled away, "No, no, it's – it's not – okay. You don't know the – the worst part. I – I was – he made me - "

Ren reached over and rubbed Koujaku's back soothingly, "Koujaku. Breathe."

It was easier said than done, for Koujaku was crying so hard he could barely take in enough air to sob, let alone speak. But finally he got his voice under control enough to continue.

"I – the tattoos were," his voice hitched again, but he continued, "They're not just ink. They – they mess with your mind – make it so you can't – can't stop yourself from – from doing things – when Mizuki and Dry Juice – with Morphine - "

“Did _he_ tattoo all of them?" Aoba asked.

"Probably – not him personally," Koujaku said, "But it was his work. It was – Ryuuhou – when it was done, I thought – it hurt so much and I hated _everything_ – I – I – I don't remember – doing it – I lost myself – I couldn't think or – I became a monster.”

Koujaku pulled away from Aoba's embrace, wrapping his arms tightly around himself, “I lost consciousness. I – When I woke up, I was... in a sea of blood. I didn't know what had happened,” he stopped, looking like he had to force the words out, “It was me. I killed them.”

Ren couldn't stop the tiny gasp of shock that came out of his mouth, and Koujaku looked up at him, his face a mask of pure misery, “Even my mother. She tried to stop me, but I – I cut her down like everyone else. She – she said she was sorry. To _me_. To the one who -”

Koujaku let out another sob, tears once more spilling down his cheeks, “I thought that I – I deserved to die, too. I was going to kill myself with my sword. But I couldn't do it.”

He looked at Aoba, who was watching him with an expression of almost as much pain as Koujaku's, “For some reason... I thought of you. I remembered your smile from when we were kids, and I – I wanted to die, but I wanted to live just as much. I somehow thought that – if I could just see you again – it would be okay.”

Aoba was silent, and Koujaku dropped his gaze back to the floor, “It wasn't, but I could pretend... but I always knew I couldn't pretend forever. I'm sorry. I hoped to disappear before you ever saw this side of me.” He let out a small noise somewhere between a laugh and another sob, “You've been better friends than I deserved.”

“Koujaku...” Aoba said softly.

"You should go," Koujaku whispered.

"We should stay right here," Aoba said firmly. He wrapped his arms around Koujaku and pulled him in close, tucking the taller man's head under his chin. Koujaku seemed almost frozen in shock, but Aoba didn't let him pull away. Aoba looked at Ren and nodded. Ren understood his meaning, and hugged Koujaku as well. After a moment, Koujaku relaxed against them with a small sigh.

Ren's mind was reeling. He'd never known... he'd never had the slightest idea how much pain Koujaku was hiding behind the smiling face he showed to the world. He rested his cheek against Koujaku's back, feeling the way he trembled in their hold. More tears, no doubt. How long had he been holding them back, Ren wondered?

“No, you can't pretend forever,” Aoba said softly, and Koujaku tensed against them, “You have to face what happened. But you don't have to face it alone. I'm here for you.”

“Me as well,” Ren said. He didn't have anything more eloquent to say at the moment, but he wanted Koujaku to know. He didn't know what he could do or say to help – certainly there was no way to make something like this _better_ – but he knew he would swallow broken glass if it would keep Koujaku from feeling this miserable ever again.

After a few moments, Koujaku slumped against them. It seemed less like he was relaxing and more like he'd simply lost the strength to continue holding himself up... maybe he'd accepted that they weren't leaving him, or maybe he was just exhausted.

“Aoba...” he whispered, so softly Ren could barely hear it, “I love you.”

Koujaku... loved Aoba? Well, that wasn't exactly surprising, with what he had said a few minutes before. He hadn't killed himself because he thought of Aoba... If that love had been what made Koujaku hang on all this time, then Ren couldn't be upset about it. He wasn't angry about anything that made Koujaku hang on.

He looked up to see Aoba's reaction. Aoba hugged Koujaku more tightly, his expression gentle, but didn't say anything in response. He met Ren's eyes and gave him a searching look, then bent his head and pressed a gentle kiss into Koujaku's hair.

Ren nodded in approval. They would need to talk, Ren knew, but it could wait for a while.

They held Koujaku in silent support until his breathing finally evened out into the deep breaths of someone sleeping soundly. Ren finally moved, the muscles in his back protested from the hunched position he'd been in for the last hour. Aoba also shifted position, releasing Koujaku from his arms and lowering him down to the couch. Koujaku didn't stir as Aoba stood up.

“He's asleep," Ren said, "Maybe we should get him to bed?"

Ren knew from experience that that couch wasn't the best thing to sleep on, and with the way Koujaku was sprawled on it, he'd probably have a nasty crick in his neck when he woke up.

Aoba shook his head, "No, let's just let him just sleep for a while."

Ren gently stroked the hair out of Koujaku's face, exposing the tattoo. Koujaku had a tattoo on his _face_ , and had hidden it so thoroughly that Ren hadn't had any idea it was there, not even after working with Koujaku every day for the better part of a year.

"I never knew," Aoba murmured, apparently thinking the same thing as Ren. Ren looked up at him and was surprised to see that Aoba looked on the verge of tears, "He's my _best friend_ , and I had no idea what he'd been through. I didn't know Koujaku at all..."

"Don't say that," Ren pleaded, "He's spent years making sure no one knew this part of him. He didn't want anyone to know."

Aoba nodded, wiping his eyes, "Idiot. He didn't have to be alone... I would have been here for him."

Ren understood. Koujaku's secret was a terrible, painful thing, but it was a burden that Aoba would have helped him bear. And when Ren thought of how long Koujaku had been keeping it, he found himself wanting to cry, too...

"Aoba, what are we going to do?" he asked, his mind reeling. Koujaku had done so many terrible things. Against his will, it seemed, but he had still done them and carried the guilt of doing them. He'd been suffering in silence for years... There had to be some way to help.

"Damned if I know," Aoba said, "We're staying here tonight, at least. That'll be a start."

"Understood," Ren replied. The thought of what Koujaku might do if he woke alone sent chills down his spine. "Aoba, do you think that... he might kill himself?"

"I don't know. He might. If he wakes up and thinks that we've abandoned him after all..." Aoba closed his eyes, a pained expression on his face, and nodded solemnly, "We're staying right here until I'm sure he won't do _anything_ stupid."

"Agreed.”

"Fuck, I just..." Aoba said, sounding choked, "I don't know what I'd do without him, Ren. He's always been here for me, I couldn't..."

Ren stood and gathered Aoba into a tight hug, "Me too. Koujaku is the first friend I've ever had. I couldn't imagine being without him."

Aoba hid his face against Ren's chest. Ren stroked his hair, and pretended not to notice the wetness on his shirt. Bringing it up would only embarrass Aoba, after all, and Ren needed the time to organize his thoughts. The only time he had ever felt the way he did now was when he had been separated from Aoba, hearing his crying in his dreams, and being unable to help... unable to reach the one he loved.

"Aoba?" he asked, after a few minutes of silence, "Do you think... that it's possible to genuinely love more than one person at the same time?"

"I don't know," Aoba said, "I think so... why?”

“Because I think...” Ren paused, feeling nervous. He licked his lips and confessed, “I think I'm in love with him. I've had... feelings for him for a while. I thought it was just a crush and I would get over it, so I didn't say anything to you.” He'd never done anything beyond looking and occasional guilty fantasies, but he still felt like he was confessing to being disloyal. But Aoba didn't seem upset, just like he was listening attentively, so Ren continued, “But now I think... it's not just a crush.”

Aoba nodded, “I see.”

That... didn't give Ren much insight into what Aoba was thinking. He didn't _sound_ angry, but hearing your lover confess to loving someone else probably wouldn't make anyone happy, either.

“Koujaku said... he said he loves you,” Ren said, “Do you... have feelings for him?”

“I...” Aoba started, “I think I do. Koujaku's always been there for me, he's always been able to make me smile, and he's... I mean, seeing him like that made me... I would do anything to make it so he's never that upset again. I think... I've probably been in love with him for a long time."

"I feel the same," Ren said.

They were quiet again, and Ren thought it over. He loved Koujaku. Aoba loved Koujaku. Koujaku loved Aoba. Ren didn't know exactly how Koujaku felt about him, but sometimes he thought that Koujaku seemed to like him. He wasn't entirely sure if all those little moments they had shared meant something, or if it was just wishful thinking on his part. But what should they do about it?

“Aoba. What do you want? If you didn't have to worry about anyone else... then what would you want to do?”

Aoba pulled back and gave Ren a hard glare, “I'm not going to leave you for Koujaku, idiot.”

That hadn't been what Ren was thinking at all, but...

“Is... that what you want to do?” He would be heartbroken to lose Aoba, but if the two people he loved could be happy with each other... then Ren would accept that.

“No!” Aoba said sharply, “But that's what you're getting at, isn't it? You think that if I didn't have to worry about making you sad, I would leave you to be with Koujaku? I still haven't forgotten how jealous you got when I went to see him without you.” Aoba put his hands on either side of Ren's face and pulled him down to eye level, “You're _mine_ , Ren. And if... If I could have what _I_ wanted, then I'd have both of you.”

Ren sucked in a breath as his mind filled with images of what that would be like. Aoba _and_ Koujaku. Waking up with Aoba in his arms, kissing Koujaku in the kitchen while they made breakfast... Both of them. Laughing with both of them, spending time with both of them, making love to both of them...

“I want that,” Ren breathed, “I want it to be like that. You and me and Koujaku.”

Aoba let out a relieved sigh, “Then... I guess we're going to need to talk with Koujaku.”

Ren nodded. They were going to need to talk about a lot of things, but at least Ren was genuinely looking forward to this one. He turned back to the couch and bent down to pick up Koujaku. It was a challenge to lift him into a sitting position, but he was lighter than Ren had expected. Had he not been eating properly?

"Ren, not right now! Let him sleep - "

"I'm not going to ask him now,” Ren said, “He'll just be a lot more comfortable in his own bed.” Koujaku's eyelids fluttered, and Ren called to him softly, “Come on, Koujaku. Let's go to bed.”

"Nn... 'kay," said Koujaku, clearly still mostly asleep. Ren and Aoba kept him from walking into the walls as they guided him to the bedroom. Koujaku all but fell into bed, and Ren tucked the blankets around him.

"I guess we should go get the spare futon," Aoba said, but Ren didn't miss the way he looked at Koujaku.

"No," Ren said firmly, and guided Aoba to sit down on the bed next to Koujaku, "As you said, we're staying right here."

Aoba gave Ren a grateful smile and laid down next to Koujaku, draping his arm across the taller man's shoulders. Ren walked around to the other side of the bed and laid down as well, reaching for Aoba's hand. Like this, they would definitely know if Koujaku got up or tried to go anywhere. Ren knew he probably wouldn't sleep too soundly tonight, not with his mind reeling like this.

"Aoba?" he asked.

"Yes?"

"Koujaku is... we're going to take care of him, right?" It wasn't quite the question he wanted to ask, but Ren wasn't at his most articulate at the moment. Aoba seemed to understand, though.

"Of course we are," Aoba said, squeezing Ren's hand, "He's ours."

Ren nodded. Yes, that seemed about right. Koujaku was theirs.

~

Aoba and Koujaku were sleeping soundly, but Ren found it impossible to do the same. Even though his body was tired, his mind was reeling, too full of thoughts to let him sleep. After an hour of watching the two people he loved most sleep, Ren sat up. He was thirsty, and maybe getting up and moving around would help him settle his restless thoughts.

As he got carefully out of bed, his eyes rested on Beni, in sleep mode on his perch, his head tucked under his wing. The little Allmate had no idea what had happened tonight, and would come out of sleep mode for Koujaku's morning alarm with no warning at all of what he'd been through the night before. Ren frowned. What did Beni know about Koujaku's history? He'd never given any indication of knowing it. Then again, if Koujaku had told him not to say anything, Beni wouldn't have been able to.

He walked over to Beni's perch and stroked his wing to wake him up.

"Beni," he said softly.

Beni lifted his head from under his wing with a mechanical whirring sound that seemed very loud in the quiet room.

"Ren?" he asked, "It's the middle of the night! What's wrong?"

"Shh," Ren whispered, "Please don't wake Koujaku or Aoba. I can't sleep, but I could use someone to talk to, if you don't mind?"

"No problem," Beni replied quietly. Ren held out his hand and Beni stepped over to it, and Ren took him to the living room and sat on the couch.

"Did something happen?" Beni asked.

A lot of things had happened, and Ren was sort of at a loss of where to start. Finally he asked, "Did you know that Koujaku is in love with Aoba?"

"He admitted it?!" Beni squawked, flapping his wings excitedly. He stilled, “Wait... _why_ did he say it? He wasn't willing to confess even _before_ he knew that you were with Aoba. How drunk did you get him?!”

So much had happened in the last few hours that Ren had almost forgotten they'd originally been going out to the bar, which was why Beni had been left at home. Of course Beni would assume it had been alcohol.

“We didn't drink anything,” Ren said.

Beni tilted his head, “So then... what happened?”

Ren pursed his lips, and answered, "How much do you know about a man named Ryuuhou?"

"What?!" Beni squawked, loudly enough that Ren shushed him so he wouldn't wake up Koujaku or Aoba in the next room. Well, that answered the question of whether or not Koujaku had ever told Beni about his past.

"He's... he's a really bad guy, Ren," Beni said, "He hurt Koujaku real bad when he was on the mainland, but I can't tell you more than that. He told me not to tell anyone. But he's bad news, okay? Stay away from him!”

Ren nodded, "It's alright, you don't have to tell me more. Koujaku already did."

Beni seemed take a few seconds to process that, and said, "Is Koujaku okay? He wouldn't talk about it unless something really serious happened..."

Ren nodded, "He's... not hurt. I don't know if he's okay."

"What happened?" Beni asked.

Ren leaned back against the couch, "A little bit after we got to the Black Needle, Ryuuhou walked in. Koujaku... went into a rage, and tried to kill him. Aoba stopped him."

"If anyone could have stopped him, it's Aoba," Beni nodded.

"We brought him home," Ren said, "And he... he told us _everything_. About his past, his family, Ryuuhou... and his mother."

Beni was silent for a few moments, then said, "You're not going to abandon him, are you? What happened to Koujaku... it wasn't really his fault. You understand that, right?"

Allmates were designed to care for their owners' well-being above everything else, so Beni's loyalty wasn't really a surprise. It was still sweet, though, and Ren gave Beni a small smile.

"We're not leaving him, Beni," Ren promised.

"Good," Beni said, "He's always been too scared to tell anyone about his past. Aoba especially. He thought that if anyone knew, they would definitely hate him."

"Just the opposite," Ren said, "Koujaku is... he's precious to me. And to Aoba. We could never hate him."

"Ah, that's a relief," Beni said, "You don't even hate him for confessing to your boyfriend?"

Ren actually laughed, and shook his head, "No. If Aoba was what made him hold on after everything that happened, then I'm not going to be mad about it. I understand what it's like to love Aoba."

"Aoba must really be something special, for both you and Koujaku to love him so much," Beni said.

"He is."

"Ah, Koujaku says the same thing," Beni said, "You know, when you first told me you liked a specific guy and wouldn't tell me who it was, I thought it was Koujaku. And I thought Koujaku was never going to tell Aoba how he felt, so I thought, 'hey, that would be great if they got together.' My good buddy Ren with my master. I figured you'd be good for him."

"Did he... ever give you the impression that he liked me?" Ren asked, feeling kind of hopeful.

"Yeah. He did. I mean, he smiled at you all the time. But not like he smiles at the girls, it was like he smiled at Aoba. So I had hatched a big plan to set you two up, and then you told us it was Aoba, and I felt like an idiot."

Koujaku smiled at him? Differently than he smiled at girls?

"Well, you weren't actually wrong," Ren admitted.

"Huh?"

"I did like Koujaku. I _do_ like Koujaku," Ren said, "And so does Aoba."

Beni blinked at him, then brightly chirped, "That's great! ... Or, wait... not so great, 'cause you and Aoba are together... I'm confused."

"So am I," Ren sighed, "Aoba and I... need to talk to Koujaku about a lot of things."

Honestly, their feelings for each other were the probably going to be the least complicated thing they would have to talk about... Even if it wasn't really Koujaku's fault, he'd still done all those things. And he'd suffered from the guilt of them for years. Ren slumped back against the couch with a sigh, and Beni patted his arm with a wing.

"You should go to bed, Ren," Beni said, "It's 2:07 AM."

Ren wasn't sure that he was any more ready to sleep than he had been earlier, but being back in the bedroom with Aoba and Koujaku was more appealing that sitting awake on the couch all night. He nodded, and stood up, Beni still perched on his hand.

He walked back to the bedroom and looked at Koujaku and Aoba curled around each other. They fit together like two pieces of a puzzle.

"Man, you really aren't mad at him about it," Beni said, looking at the pair sleeping on the bed. Ren walked him back over to his perch and Beni stepped off of Ren's hand and onto it.

"Hey, Ren," he said, as Ren raised his hand to put him back into sleep mode.

"Yes?" Ren asked, his hand hovering over his friend.

"You're going to take care of Koujaku, right?" Beni asked, "I can only do some of it, so you and Aoba, you're going to help take care of him, right?"

"Of course we will, Beni," Ren said with a nod. With a smile, he added, "He's taken care of everyone else for so long. Now it's his turn."

~

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is the reason why this fic's working title was "A wild Ryuuhou appears". I am super-excited to finally be sharing this part with you guys. Again, thank you so much to all my reviewers, you guys are awesome. Stay tuned for the next chapter on Friday.


	8. Chapter 7

~

Ren hadn't expected that he'd be able to sleep that night. He had certainly laid awake for a long time, but at some point he clearly had fallen asleep, because he woke to Koujaku stirring.

"Aoba," he heard Koujaku murmur. He sounded like he couldn't believe what he was seeing, and when he turned around, Ren managed to give him a soft smile.

"Good morning, Koujaku," he said softly.

"Good... good morning," Koujaku replied, "You stayed here?"

"Of course we did," Ren said, "You needed us."

Astonishment. That was the word for the look on Koujaku's face, and the idea that someone as kind and friendly and _wonderful_ as Koujaku was would be – could be – astonished that someone would stay with him made Ren want to hug him. It might be a little bit too much at once, though.

"You didn't have to stay," Koujaku said, "I mean, you could have gone home."

"Like hell we could have!" Aoba snapped, sitting up. Ren looked at him, startled by the outburst. Aoba sounded angrier than Ren had heard him in a very long time.

Even with sleep still in his eyes, Aoba looked furious, and he didn't seem any less furious when he seized Koujaku's kimono and yanked him into a hug. Was angry hugging a common thing? Ren hadn't seen Aoba do it before, but then, he'd never seen Aoba so angry at someone he loved before.

"You idiot!" Aoba said, "Go home? Why, so that you have the privacy to kill yourself?”

“I -” Koujaku started.

Aoba didn't let him continue, “I'm here for you. That's _always,_ Koujaku, not just last night! I'm not going to leave you. Ever. So don't you fucking dare leave me."

"A-Aoba-!" Koujaku stammered, but shut up when Aoba looked up at him.

"I need you," Aoba said softly, "I know you think I don't, but you're not the one who gets to decide that. Koujaku..."

He looked at Ren, and Ren nodded encouragingly.

"I love you," Aoba said, "You're every bit as precious to me as Ren is. So don't... promise me that you'll stay with me."

And with that, he leaned forward and gently, tenderly, kissed Koujaku. Koujaku froze, and for a moment Ren thought that he might push Aoba away, and wondered what on earth they would do if he did, but Koujaku brought his hand up to the back of Aoba's head and kissed him back. He kissed intensely, one hand tangled in Aoba's long hair and the other around his waist, holding him in place... not that it looked like Aoba was trying to go anywhere.

It was an unexpectedly erotic sight. Even though Ren had already decided that he didn't mind Aoba loving Koujaku too, he thought he would feel a little bit jealous to see them kissing. He didn't. Honestly, he wanted to see them do more.

He put his hand on Koujaku's shoulder and Koujaku broke the kiss, looking at Ren with something like panic in his eyes.

"I'm sorry - " he started, but Ren cut him off with a finger over his lips.

"Koujaku," he said softly, "I asked Aoba this last night, and I want to ask you, too: Do you believe it's possible to genuinely love more than one person at the same time?"

"I..." Koujaku trailed off, his eyes wide, "You..."

"I love Aoba," Ren said, "When I think about that, it feels a little different than when I think about you. But it's not very different... when you smile at me I blush, and when you ruffle my hair I want to lean in to your touch. And last night, when I saw you cry... I felt like I would do anything to keep you from ever hurting like that again."

"That sounds like love to me," Aoba said quietly.

"Me too..." Koujaku's voice was barely more than a whisper.

Ren stroked the hair out of Koujaku's face, exposing the tattoo. He rubbed his thumb over the harsh black lines, and Koujaku didn't flinch away. It felt a little bit like petting a shy cat, Ren thought. Maybe... if Koujaku trusted him enough to let Ren touch his tattoo, then that might be a sign that this could work.

"I understand why you kept this a secret, but you don't have to hide from us," Ren said, and kissed Koujaku.

It was different from kissing Aoba. Koujaku's lips were moist and his mouth tasted different. Like with Aoba, it took a moment before he responded, and when he did, it was intense. Koujaku kissed like he was drowning and Ren was air. Ren only pulled back when he felt something hot and wet touch his thumb.

"You're crying?" he asked. Had kissing Koujaku been the wrong thing to do after all? Koujaku had kissed back, but that didn't necessarily mean he had wanted to be kissed in the first place.

“I'm sorry,” Ren said softly.

“You're apologizing to _me?”_ Koujaku let out a laugh that sounded on the edge of hysterical, “Ren, I – fuck. I don't deserve either one of you. Even if – even if I hadn't... I'm petty and jealous. You love me, but I – I've just resented you for having what I wanted. How can you possibly -”

Ren shouldn't have been surprised by Koujaku's admission – Envy was the natural response to someone else having what you wanted, after all – but he was. Resentful? Jealous? Petty? Koujaku had never shown any sign of being any of those things, as far as Ren could tell. Well, other than his initial reaction to finding out that Ren and Aoba were together, and that had lasted, what, all of twelve hours? Things had been awkward for a while afterward, too, but Koujaku had clearly been trying very hard to treat them both normally.

“You don't give yourself enough credit,” Aoba said, “For someone who says he's petty and jealous, you've certainly been kind and supportive of us.”

“I -”

Aoba went on, ignoring Koujaku's protest, “It doesn't matter whether or not you deserve it. Ren and I... neither of us can imagine our life without you in it. Koujaku...” Aoba put his hands on either side of Koujaku's face and pulled it close to his, the same way he had done to Ren last night. “We're here for you. You can't say anything that would change that.”

Koujaku took a deep, steadying breath, and spoke, "I'm a _murderer._ And you're saying you can accept me, knowing that?"

Aoba nodded solemnly, "Yes. I'm not saying that what you did was _good,_ but... when you saw Ryuuhou... that wasn't you."

"You can't just excuse - "

Ren held Koujaku's shoulder, "That's not what he meant. Obviously, it was you. But you weren't in control of yourself."

"Right," Aoba agreed with a grateful look at Ren, "You said your tattoos were the same kind that Mizuki had, when he joined Morphine?"

Koujaku nodded, a doubtful expression on his face.

"When we found Mizuki after he had kidnapped Granny... he didn't even look like himself. It was like he was possessed. Koujaku, it was the same with you."

"It's not – the tattoos just – they amplify things that are already there..." Koujaku looked anguished as he explained, "I already hated my father, and everyone else. I was already so angry... it didn't give me any feelings I didn't already have. I already... wanted to kill."

"No," Aoba shook his head, "Thinking about doing something isn't the same as being the kind of person who would actually do it."

"But I _did_ do it," Koujaku said, his voice pained.

"Koujaku..." Ren said, "I do not believe that you would have – or even _could_ have – done it if you were in your right mind."

"How do you know that?" Koujaku asked, "I've done terrible things..."

"I didn't know you were jealous," Ren said, and Koujaku blinked in surprise, "You say that you _resented_ me for being with Aoba, but I had no idea. Despite your feelings, you still treated me as a friend, and never took out your emotions on me. You are kind and compassionate. That's the real Koujaku. And that's why I fell in love with you."

Koujaku was silent, and Ren continued, “Do you remember when I told you about Sei? When I said that I didn't feel like I deserved to be here instead of him? Do you remember what you said to me?”

“Uh... kind of?” Koujaku said, evidently confused by Ren's sudden change of topic.

“I remember exactly what you said. You said 'If Sei thought you were worth giving his body to, maybe you should trust his judgment.' I had never thought about it like that before, but you were right. If Sei thought I was worth it, then there was a reason for it, even if I didn't see it myself. So maybe... maybe you should trust our judgment.”

Koujaku opened his mouth, and closed it again. Maybe Ren had finally made him understand...

He let out a sudden sigh and flopped back onto the bed.

“Koujaku?”

“I'm not going to win this, am I?” Koujaku asked.

“If by 'win this' you mean 'convince us that we should hate you'...” Aoba said, leaning over Koujaku. Ren couldn't see his face from this angle, but he could hear the smile in Aoba's voice and knew what it must look like. “Then no, you're not.”

He bent his head and kissed Koujaku again. Koujaku kissed back for a moment, then brought his hands up to Aoba's shoulders and pushed him away.

“No,” he said, “That doesn't mean I'm going to... intrude on your relationship.”

“It's not intruding if we want you here,” Aoba said with a distinct pout.

Ren put his hand on Aoba's shoulder and gently pulled him back. This was familiar, Ren thought... It had been a while since Ren had acted as Aoba's restraint – in fact, since he'd become a human, he was pretty bad at it. Aoba responded to Ren's gentle pull by looking up at him with a sulky expression, like a kid who'd just been denied a treat. “Aoba... We've made our feelings plain, now we have to give Koujaku time to figure out what he wants.”

“What I want...” Koujaku murmured. His expression darkened, “I want to find Ryuuhou.”

Ren didn't know if that was a good idea, considering what had happened before, but... maybe it would give Koujaku some closure. If they were with him, then hopefully... he didn't actually know what he hoped the outcome would be, other than Koujaku _not_ losing his mind.

“Then we'll help you find him,” Aoba promised, his voice soft and serious. Ren nodded his agreement.

Koujaku hooked his arm around Aoba's shoulders and pulled him down into a hug. Aoba didn't resist or try to turn it into anything more. He laid his head on Koujaku's chest and beckoned to Ren with his free hand.

Ren wasn't entirely sure he should, but he laid down next to Koujaku, in the same position they had slept in the night before. After a moment, he felt Koujaku's other arm wrap around his waist. He wanted to speak, but had the feeling that any noise would ruin the sense of peace. He took Aoba's hand, and the three of them laid together in silence.

~

It was late morning by the time they finally moved, prompted by Koujaku's stomach giving a loud rumble.

"How about some breakfast?" Aoba asked, "I'm sure you'll feel better on a full stomach."

"Yeah," Koujaku said, his voice coming out rather subdued.

Reluctantly, Ren got out of bed. Aoba and Koujaku did as well.

"I should probably shower and stuff, too," Koujaku said.

Ren nodded. They had all fallen asleep in their clothes from yesterday, and they looked pretty messy. Koujaku would probably feel much better if he showered and changed clothes, but Ren didn't like the idea of letting Koujaku out of his sight. And he was pretty sure that offering to keep him company in the bathroom wouldn't actually be well-received at the moment.

"Alright," Ren said, "We'll make breakfast while you get cleaned up."

None of them moved for a moment, then Koujaku cleared his throat awkwardly.

"Ah... before you go..."

"Yes?"

"I haven't... I mean, you haven't seen... my other tattoos," he said, "I don't really like to... let people see them, but I think... you should."

He bit his lip and slipped out of his kimono, letting it fall to the floor. The tattoo on his chest, which Ren had only seen glimpses of before, was extensive. Sweeping, graceful black lines flowed across his skin, from his arm to his shoulder and down his side. He turned around. The tattoo on his back was very different from the others. Instead of stark black lines, this one was large, brightly colored, blooming flowers that extended from the base of his neck down the left side of his back, the bottom of it disappearing under his sarashi. If Ren hadn't known what they meant to Koujaku, he would have honestly thought they were beautiful.

Less obvious than the tattoos, though only slightly less extensive, were Koujaku's scars. Ren had always just assumed that the scars on Koujaku's hands were from tearing up his knuckles in Rib matches. And maybe some of them were, but now Ren knew that the majority of them were from people fighting back when Koujaku had gone on his rampage.

Koujaku turned back around and picked up his kimono, "So... yeah. That's... that's what they look like."

He went to put it back on, but was stopped by Aoba suddenly hugging him tightly, his face against Koujaku's shoulder, against the black lines of his tattoo.

"Aoba!"

"Thank you," Aoba said, "For trusting us."

Koujaku briefly returned the hug before gently pulling away from Aoba and heading for the bathroom. Ren walked over to Aoba and put his hand on his shoulder.

“Are _you_ alright?” he asked.

“I think so...” Aoba nodded, “Come on, let's go see what we can make for breakfast.”

Ren nodded, and let Aoba lead him into the kitchen. He really would have liked to stay where he could at hear hear Koujaku, but he knew that Koujaku needed some space. Invading his privacy was certainly not the way to make Koujaku return his feelings.

Would Koujaku be able to return Ren's feelings? Koujaku was in love with Aoba, and had been jealous of Ren... it probably wouldn't be easy to for him go from resenting Ren to loving him.

 _If he can at all._ Ren thought dejectedly as he sat down at the kitchen table. He rested his chin in his hands. Koujaku had kissed him back like he meant it, but maybe that was just gratitude...

“He really is _such_ a bachelor,” Aoba said, opening the fridge and looking in with a frown, “He's got beer, half a carton of eggs and leftover takeout.”

“He keeps a bag of rice in the cabinet above the sink,” Ren said, pointing.

“Omurice it is, then,” Aoba said as opened the cabinet and pulled out the bag of rice, “How did you know that was up there?”

“I helped him make breakfast when we spent the night.”

“I see...” Aoba said, “Where does he hide his rice cooker?”

“Cabinet next to the fridge.”

“Thanks.”

Ren watched Aoba as he pulled out ingredients for breakfast without really paying attention, his mind still churning.

“Aoba?”

“Yes, Ren?”

“I've been thinking...” Ren trailed off, trying to think of how best to put his thoughts into words, “If Koujaku doesn't want to be with me, I would still... I would accept you being with him.”

“Ren, are you trying to be noble and self-sacrificing again?” Aoba asked, turning and fixing him with a sharp look.

“No. I'm saying that if it were with Koujaku, then I would be willing to share you,” Ren said, “You said you want both of us. I want both you and Koujaku, but if Koujaku only wants you, then... You can get what you want, and Koujaku can get what he wants, and I would get half of what I want.”

Aoba blinked at him, then his face broke into a smile. “You sound like you're trying to work out a logic puzzle.”

“I suppose that is what I'm doing. I don't know if Koujaku will return my feelings, but I still want him to be happy.”

Aoba smiled, shaking his head, “Sometimes, Ren, you're just too sweet.”

“I want both the people I love to be happy,” Ren said, “Isn't that natural?”

“That's true,” Aoba replied.

Silence descended on the room again, broken only by the sounds of Aoba preparing their simple breakfast. Ren could tell Aoba was thinking as hard as he was, and had the urge to warn him about his brain overheating, but he kept his mouth shut. For once, thinking _too_ hard was probably a good thing. There was so much to consider, and Ren wondered if perhaps the reason he was focusing so much on their (Possible? Maybe? Future?) relationship was that it was actually the simplest thing about this whole situation.

"So... you told him about Sei?" Aoba asked, breaking the silence.

“Yes.”

"When?"

"The same morning I helped him make breakfast,” Ren said, “It was actually what we were talking about when you woke up and told us to stop being so loud.”

"I see," Aoba said. He measured out the rice and poured it into the cooker. His expression was unreadable, and Ren wondered if Aoba was angry at him for telling Koujaku.

"Should I not have...?" Ren asked nervously.

"No, it's fine," Aoba said, "What, like you should never talk about serious things without my permission? But... yeah, if you told him about Sei, it's no wonder he reacted the way he did when you told him about our relationship."

Ren shook his head, "No, I didn't tell him who Sei was. Just that he was precious to me and that I owe him more than I could ever hope to repay for giving me his body, allowing me to be human. Koujaku had been joking about where my body came from. Not in a mean way, but I couldn't stand to let him disrespect Sei's memory, even if he didn't know he was doing it...”

“So he doesn't know...” Aoba said thoughtfully, “We should probably tell him.”

“It would hardly be fair for us to keep secrets from him after he's shared his past with us,” Ren pointed out.

“We've already talked about so many things this morning,” Aoba said, “So, honestly, what's one more at this point?”

They didn't talk again until the rice cooker beeped that it was done, and Aoba looked nervously in the direction of Koujaku's room.

"Does it seem like he's taking a long time in there?" Aoba asked.

Ren nodded, "Yes. But we've certainly given him a lot to think about. He'll probably be grateful for privacy."

Aoba still looked nervous, so Ren reassured him, "He hasn't hurt himself."

"How can you be sure?"

"Allmates are designed to take care of their owners," Ren explained, "Even if he's in sleep mode, Beni would detect if Koujaku's vital signs changed in a way that suggested illness or injury and activate." Aoba should already know that – it had been a standard feature of Allmates for at least six years, and Beni wasn't that old of a model – but he was clearly worrying, and so the reminder would probably reassure him.

"Ah, right. Beni would let us know."

It wasn't actually a question, but Ren replied as though it was, "Of course. And... I don't think Koujaku is actually suicidal at this point. He seems much calmer today than he was last night."

Of course, that was no guarantee... Ren bit his bottom lip and glanced in the same direction Aoba had, "Should I go tell him breakfast is almost ready?"

"Yes please."

Ren got up and headed for Koujaku's bedroom. There was silence from the bathroom, which made Ren a little bit nervous, but he went to the door and knocked on it softly.

"Yeah?" Koujaku's voice came from inside. It didn't sound like he had hurt himself, and Ren breathed a sigh of relief. They really needed to stop being so jumpy, but everything seemed so uncertain right now.

"Breakfast will be ready in just a few minutes," Ren said.

"Ah, okay. I'll be out in a bit."

Koujaku emerged from the bathroom a moment later, his skin flushed pink from the heat. He wasn't wearing any clothing, just a towel wrapped around his waist. He really was beautiful, Ren thought, unable to stop staring. The black tattoo that flowed over his chest and side also went down to his legs, and Ren really wanted to see the parts hidden under his towel.

Koujaku cleared his throat and gave Ren a pointed look. Ren blushed. Now really was not the time to be ogling Koujaku. Not when they still had so many serious questions to answer.

"Ah, sorry. I – I'll give you some privacy," Ren said quickly, and backed out of the bedroom almost at a run.

Ren hurried back to the kitchen, his face furiously hot. Aoba looked at him curiously, and Ren said, "He's fine. He's getting dressed."

"I see," Aoba said, with a knowing look that only made Ren blush harder.

Koujaku entered the kitchen a few minutes later, dressed in a different kimono from his usual one, but it was still red. Now that Ren considered it, he had never seen Koujaku wearing something that wasn't red. Was that just because he liked the color, or was there more meaning to it.

"Here," Aoba said, handing Koujaku a plate, "I made breakfast. You don't keep much food in your house."

"Uh, yeah," Koujaku replied, accepting it, "I've needed to go grocery shopping for a few days, but I've been putting it off. Thank you."

Aoba gave Ren a plate, took one for himself, and then they sat at the table and ate in a tense silence. Koujaku was the one who finally broke it.

"Aoba, Ren," he said, "You two both... want me to be with you?"

Aoba nodded, "We do. Koujaku... I've loved you for a long time, I just didn't realize it for what it was until recently. I've been jealous of the girls you're always with for years, and I hated the idea that anyone else would get to see you the way you are when you're standing on the veranda, smoking a cigarette. I've always liked that the only one who got to see you like that is me."

He reached across the table and took Koujaku's hand. Koujaku didn't pull away.

"But you have Ren," Koujaku said, "He's – he's _literally_ your soulmate."

Soulmate? Ren hadn't thought about it in those terms before, but it made sense. He and Aoba really _were_ two pieces of the same soul. He kind of liked that thought.

"That's true," Aoba said, "I love Ren. That doesn't mean I _only_ love him. It may be kind of selfish of me, but I really... I want both of you."

"That's what I want, too," Ren said, "I've loved Aoba since I became a separate person, and I've fallen in love with you over the last year... I want it to be all three of us. But, Koujaku... what do you want?"

Koujaku pulled his hand back from Aoba's grip and covered his face with a sigh, "I don't fuckin' know." He sounded so defeated, "I know you both... have feelings for me - " Ren wondered why he shied away from the word 'love', but he didn't comment on it. " - I can't pretend I understand _why,_ but I accept that you do."

Ren opened his mouth to speak and Koujaku held up his hand, "No, let me finish. I'm really... I don't know if I can be in a relationship with the two of you."

"Oh," Aoba said, the disappointment clear in his voice, “I see...”

"No," Koujaku said, shaking his head, "I don't think you do. Aoba... I'm grateful, more than I can possibly say, that you don't hate me, even knowing what I am – what I did. You too, Ren. But I need to - "

He stopped for a moment, and took Aoba's hand again, "I just need to figure some things out."

Aoba nodded, "Alright."

"You're still planning on going after Ryuuhou?" Ren asked.

Koujaku nodded, "I spent three years trying to find him before I came back to Midorijima. Now that he's appeared again, I'm not letting him get away."

Aoba nodded, "Right. We should probably start by calling Mizuki. Ryuuhou seemed to know him, so that's something, right?"

"We?" Koujaku echoed.

 _"We,"_ Aoba repeated firmly, "We said we'd help you find him, didn't we?"

"But - " Koujaku started to protest, but he met Aoba's eyes and stopped talking. He sighed, "Okay. Yeah. Talking to Mizuki is probably a good place to start.”

Ren smiled behind his hand. When Aoba was determined to do something, there was no force on earth that could stop him. Koujaku was going to have help, whether he liked it or not.

"And I should probably apologize for making a scene in the bar last night."

Aoba blanched, "Fuck. I need to apologize for Scrapping everyone, too. Especially Mizuki. Even if it wasn't the same as before – I messed with his head again."

"You were panicking," Ren said, "I don't think there was a better option, given the situation."

"I really hope I didn't hurt anyone," Aoba said, biting his lip, "I've never used Scrap like that before – at least not on purpose, anyway."

"It's reassuring that it worked on me," Koujaku said, "I had no idea that anything could... get me under control when I'm like that..."

Aoba flashed Koujaku a tiny grin, "And you wanted to go find Ryuuhou without me."

"I just..." Koujaku started, apparently having trouble finding the words, "If he decided that you were interesting, then he might – hurt you too. And if he had the slightest idea what you are – either of you! – he wouldn't be able to resist."

"What we are, hm?" Ren said pensively.

"He gave me these tattoos because he thought my rage was – was something he could just play with," Koujaku spat, "He wanted to make me lose control. If he knew about your powers, Aoba, or that Ren wasn't the original owner of his body... I don't even want to think about what he'd want to do to you."

Ren couldn't help but feel pleased at Koujaku's protectiveness. Even if Koujaku decided he didn't want to be in a relationship with them, he still cared.

"Ah, while we're on the subject..." Aoba started, "I mean, sort of... but you've shared your past with us, so we really shouldn't keep anything from you."

Koujaku looked at him curiously.

"It has to do with... what Ren and I are," Aoba said, "And how we were born. Me and Sei."

"You and Sei?" Koujaku repeated.

"Yes. Sei and I were born the same way," Aoba said, "My powers are – I have them because I was one of Toue's experiments. Sei and I weren't entirely... well, human."

"So Sei was...?"

"We were both experiments. Sei was my brother," Aoba admitted.

Koujaku's eyes widened, but he kept quiet.

"When we were born, we were connected by our hair, and we seemed to die soon after. They cut us apart, and Sei revived. I was apparently stillborn. Granny was a researcher for Toue, and she felt pity for me, so she took me away to give me a proper burial... but I wasn't dead after all," Aoba wiped his eyes, "I spent my whole life not knowing Sei even existed, but he knew about me. He was so weak from all of Toue's experiments. He could have resented me for being the one lucky enough to escape, but he didn't..."

"I had wondered why Toue's son gave Ren his body," Koujaku murmured, "So you two were brothers. That's why..."

"Sei was a kind and generous person, like I told you before," Ren said softly.

"Obviously," Koujaku said.

"Does it... bother you?" Aoba asked, "I mean, Ren's body used to be Sei's..."

Koujaku was quiet for a moment, considering, then he said, "No. I mean, really, it's not like knowing that Sei was your brother makes what you two have any _more_ weird."

Aoba beamed with obvious relief, "Yeah. The whole thing is really weird."

"But it makes you happy, and it's not hurting anyone," Koujaku said, "And honestly, I'm in no position to judge anyone else."

Ren was more relieved than he could say that Koujaku was able to accept even this. And now there were no more secrets between them, and that thought made him smile. He reached across the table for Koujaku's hand, and Koujaku let Ren hold it, even giving him a brief, tentative smile. Ren smiled back.

This was a start.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm sorry I haven't been good about replying to reviews, but I promise I still read and love every one of them. Thank you all so much, especially those of you who keep coming back to review multiple chapters. Knowing that multiple people like this story enough to keep coming back each update means more to me than I can possibly say, guys. 
> 
> Stay tuned, because there will be another short bonus chapter very soon!


	9. Bonus 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Just a little glimpse at what's going on inside Koujaku's head.

As soon as the bathroom door shut behind him, Koujaku leaned against it and breathed a deep sigh of relief. Aoba and Ren's earnest, open affection was really more than he could handle right now.

It still felt so _unreal_ , like a dream. Then again, Ryuuhou waltzing into the Black Needle last night – had it really been less than twelve hours ago? – certainly bore a similarity to many of his nightmares. Ryuuhou had appeared, and Koujaku's sins had been revealed to Aoba, the one person he'd wanted to keep them from above everyone else. Aoba, who had been his strength, his sanity, his reason to keep on living. Aoba...

Aoba hadn't rejected him. He'd reacted with sympathy, acceptance... love.

_You don't have to face it alone. I'm here for you._

It couldn't be a dream, because Koujaku hadn't even dreamed that Aoba could ever say something like that. That Aoba could hear his story and not turn away in disgust. He'd honestly never intended to confess his love for Aoba, but the words had slipped out anyway, and Aoba...

Koujaku brought his hand to his lips. Aoba had kissed him. Twice. And...

So had Ren, and that was where Koujaku's brain stuttered to a confused halt. _Ren_ loved him, and really, what did he even think about that? He'd been terribly jealous of Ren for months, resenting him not only for having Aoba, but at every turn proving how much more he _deserved_ to have Aoba. Ren was patient, Ren was kind, Ren put others' needs above his own.

Ren's hands weren't stained with blood.

Ren was the kind of person that Aoba _should_ be with. Koujaku hadn't been lying when he'd said that he couldn't think of anyone who would be better for Aoba than Ren was. Ren was a better person than Koujaku. And there was a bitter, hurt part of Koujaku that honestly couldn't stand him for it.

But Ren loved him.

Koujaku had been busy resenting Ren for having what he wanted and being a genuinely good person, while Ren had been busy falling in love with him.

The irony was painful. Koujaku let out a bitter laugh, and finally pushed away from the door. A shower would help clear his head.

He stripped off the rest of his clothes and left them in a disorganized pile on the bathroom floor. Somehow, taking them to the hamper just seemed like too much work at the moment.

He turned on the shower and made the water hot. As hot as he could stand it, and then just a bit more. It stung when he stood under the scalding spray, but his muscles relaxed.

What should he do...?

He knew he wanted to find Ryuuhou and take his long-awaited revenge, but he didn't really... it wasn't as though another murder could somehow erase the sin of killing his family. It was for his own satisfaction, he knew that.

What was the _right_ thing to do?

Koujaku shook his head ruefully. The right thing to do would probably have been to kill himself after he'd killed his family. It wasn't even (entirely) his guilt speaking, either. He was a time bomb. He could lose his mind again at any time, and had nearly done so last night. Only Aoba's power had stopped him. A rabid dog was put down, after all...

But he already knew he couldn't do it. If he couldn't do it back then, then he certainly wouldn't be able to do it now that...

Now that he might really have something to live for.

After all his years of loving Aoba, trying to convince himself he was fine just being his friend, Aoba loved him back and wanted to be with him. It was quite literally a dream come true.

Except that Aoba was already with Ren, and the two of them kind of seemed to be a package deal? Koujaku wasn't quite sure how he felt about that. Aoba was happy with Ren. It was so clear, and had been Koujaku's biggest comfort. Ren made Aoba happy. What right did Koujaku have to intrude on that?

_It's not intruding if we want you here._

The thought of being with Aoba was exhilarating. Aoba _and_ Ren, however... was that really something that he wanted? How did he feel about Ren?

Well, jealous, a lot of the time. But he knew that Ren had done nothing to earn that feeling, which was why he had always tried to keep it from showing and treat Ren like he had before he knew. And apparently that had been enough to make Ren fall in love with him?

_You are kind and compassionate._

No, he just didn't want to be an asshole to someone as sweet as Ren. Being mean to him would be like... well, like kicking a puppy.

If he set aside the jealousy, how did he feel about Ren?

Ren was cute. No, scratch that, Ren was _adorable_. He was earnest and friendly and shy, but when he was with people he was comfortable with he had a wicked sense humor. He got sleepy and cuddled people when he was drunk – although, now that Koujaku thought about it, Ren really only cuddled Koujaku or Aoba – and sometimes he forgot that he was human and would stand around with his tongue poking out of his mouth.

Ren was also just a generally _likable_ person, easy to get along with and fun to be around. And when Ren had kissed him... well, Koujaku certainly hadn't been expecting it, but it hadn't been unpleasant. In fact, it had felt good, but Koujaku had been way too confused and overwhelmed to think about letting it go any farther.

So he liked Ren as a friend, thought he was cute, and was a little bit attracted to him. But was that enough for him to get into a relationship with Ren as well as Aoba?

Was it enough for him to try? Could he try being with Ren as well if it gave him a chance at happiness? And what if he tried, but discovered he couldn't do it? Would it be better to lose it, or have never experienced it at all?

His head was spinning...

Although that was probably at least partially because of the hot water. Koujaku sighed, and turned the shower off. His skin was red and kind of painful, and he was no closer to an answer of what he should do, or even what he wanted to do.

He went over to the sink, and wiped the steam off the mirror to look at himself. Scars and the ugly black lines of his tattoo still marred his skin, permanent reminders of his sins. Aoba had seen them, and thanked Koujaku for showing him.

“Do I deserve to be happy?” he asked his reflection, “What should I do?”

There was no answer.

He would find Ryuuhou. He would confront his past, and then...

Then he would have to figure the rest out from there.


	10. Chapter 8

When they arrived at the Black Needle that afternoon, there was no sign that anything had happened the night before, other than Mizuki greeting them with an expression that suggested he was very angry and trying not to show it.

"Hi, Mizuki," Aoba said.

"Hi." Mizuki's voice was very flat. "You owe me an explanation."

"Yeah," Aoba agreed with a wince, "And an apology. I'm really sorry about what I did last night. I was panicking and didn't know what else to do."

Mizuki frowned at him, but didn't say anything else. He turned to Koujaku, "And you. _What_ the hell was that? I've never seen you flip out like that before."

Koujaku took a deep breath, "He's... someone who hurt me badly when I was on the mainland. I was... really unprepared to see him just walk in to your bar."

Mizuki's expression softened a bit, "Yeah, I kind of got the impression from what you guys said that there was some history there...

"How do you know him?" Koujaku asked.

"He's a pretty famous tattoo artist," Mizuki said, "I met him briefly before... before all that shit with Morphine happened. He told me he liked my designs, and gave me a sketch. It was – well, I thought it was pretty cool at the time. He seemed a little weird, but not in a bad way, though? But I guess what happened... kind of proves that I'm not a good judge of character."

"If it helps, you're not the only one," Aoba said with a wry smile, “I mean, for years I thought that Virus and Trip were alright.”

Mizuki flinched at their names, his hand going unconsciously to his neck, “So, Ryuuhou... he was involved with Morphine, too?”

"Probably not directly," Ren said when it became clear that Koujaku was uncomfortable with answering, "But he developed the technique that Morphine used for the tattoos... we need to find him, and you're the only lead we have."

"I see..." Mizuki said quietly, "Well, I don't know a whole heck of a lot about it, but when we met before, he said that he had set up a temporary shop in a club in Platinum Jail, to offer his services to the residents there." His eyes widened, "Oh, hang on! He gave me a card back then... told me to look him up if I wanted something done. I might still have it."

He went over to the entrance to the tattoo parlor and pulled out stacks of various sketches. They looked like tattoo designs he'd started and then never completed, but some appeared to be in a different style. Other peoples' designs, maybe?

"It should be in here," Mizuki said, "I usually keep every design other people give me, but I'm not sure about the card..."

There was a framed design that Mizuki pulled out. It was sketchy, and sort of abstract, but it looked like a fish.

"This is the sketch he gave me," Mizuki said, "I had it up on the desk for a while, but I didn't want people to think it was something I could do for them..." he opened up the frame and a small card fell out.

He picked it up and turned it over, "Huh. I thought it was a business card or something... this is a membership card for a club..."

"May I see?" Koujaku asked. Mizuki handed him the card, and Ren looked curiously over Koujaku's shoulder. It had a picture of a butterfly on it, but nothing else.

“That's probably the club he was working in,” Mizuki said, “But if it was in Platinum Jail, who knows if it still exists...”

The businesses in Platinum Jail had all been run either by Toue corporation or its affiliates. Since Oval Tower had fallen, almost all of them had either closed or changed owners. There was no way to know if Ryuuhou was still working at the same place or not. Still, it was a place to start.

"Thank you," Ren said to Mizuki.

"No problem," Mizuki said. He fixed Koujaku with a serious look and said, "Look, I know you don't want to tell me what's going on, and I get it. Whatever it is, it's personal. But... don't do anything stupid, alright?"

"Don't worry," Aoba said with a small smile, "Ren and I will keep him out of trouble."

~

It only took a brief online search to find the club that the card was for. It appeared to be under new management since the fall of Platinum Jail – or at the very least, was being run under new rules, because the website had a specific section explaining that it was no longer members-only, and explaining the prices. They advertised a huge dance floor and bar on the ground level, with private rooms on the second and third floor.

"For intimate encounters" the website read. Ren though it sounded pretty sketchy, to be honest, but the pictures made them look nice.

"Who would put a love hotel above a nightclub?" Aoba wondered.

Koujaku shrugged, "Who knows? Anyway, we'll start here and see if we can find him..."

He didn't look pleased at the idea. Ren reached over and touched his hand, and Koujaku grabbed his fingers and squeezed tightly. Koujaku's hands were shaking, and they were colder than normal.

"Are you all right?" Ren asked.

"No," Koujaku admitted, "But I need to do this."

Aoba hugged him from behind, wrapping his arms around Koujaku's shoulders, "You won't have to do it alone. We're here for you."

Koujaku nodded, "Let's go."

It was a long walk, mostly spent in tense silence. The walls of Platinum Jail had come down and people could freely enter where the gate had once been to check for invitations, but there was still a distinct difference between the former Platinum Jail and the Old Resident District. For one, it was still mostly inhabited by the wealthy only, and the shops and restaurants were much more high-end than anything that could be found where they lived.

The particular part of Platinum Jail they were going to had a traditional theme to its design. The buildings had tile roofs, with paper lanterns strung between them. Most of it was red and gold in color. Ren thought the place kind of looked like it had been designed for Koujaku. If their purpose here hadn't been so serious, Ren would have loved to hang around and explore the area a bit.

"I haven't been in this area before," Aoba said, looking around. He checked his coil, "It should be up here."

They turned off the main street to a smaller one, and spotted the club. It wasn't traditionally-styled, just a large, black boxy building, with red light coming from the windows.

"This is the place," Koujaku said, stopping at the door. He looked back and Aoba and Ren, "Is there any chance I can talk you into waiting here?"

"No," Aoba answered simply. Ren took Aoba's hand, and nodded in agreement.

Koujaku pursed his lips, but Ren thought he looked kind of pleased as well, "Fine. Just... please be careful around him, okay?"

"You're telling _us_ that?" Aoba asked incredulously.

Koujaku didn't respond, but led the way through the door of the club.

Inside was pretty dark, save for a variety of flashing lights coming from the dance floor. Ren didn't look at them for very long, they gave him an almost immediate headache.

There was a woman at the entrance who seemed to be there to take payments from people coming in.

"The dance floor doesn't open for another hour. Would you like to rent a room?" she asked in a suggestive tone, raising an eyebrow at the three of them.

Ren blushed at the implication, but Koujaku was shaking his head, "No. We're looking for someone... a tattoo artist."

"Oh, Ryuuhou-sensei?" she asked brightly, "He returned only a few days ago. You're lucky, he rarely stays here for very long. But I don't think he's doing tattoos on this visit. I asked him last night if he'd be willing to give me another one, and he said sorry, but he had other plans."

Koujaku stiffened at her blithe tone. Ren understood why. Hearing someone talk happily about getting tattooed by Ryuuhou was chilling, when he considered what had happened to Koujaku.

"He does beautiful work," she said with a dreamy smile, "He's up on the third floor. I suppose you could go ask, at least."

"Thank you," Koujaku said, without even the slightest hint of the flirting tone he usually used with women. His emotions were written all over his face, but the woman didn't seem to notice as she guided them to the stairs.

"Now, if he says he's busy, _don't_ bother him," she said sternly as she led them up the stairs, "Or security will throw you out!"

Ren nodded vaguely. This... could be dangerous, he thought. Koujaku wanted revenge, and Ren was willing to support him in that, but if Koujaku were to simply kill Ryuuhou in cold blood... he didn't want to think that Koujaku could do that, but if Ren were to stop him, would Koujaku ever be able to forgive him?

They reached the third floor and the girl went down the hall to a closed door.

She knocked gently on the door frame, "Ryuuhou-sensei? There's some people here looking for you."

The door opened to reveal Ryuuhou. He saw Koujaku and smiled in a way that sent chills down Ren's spine. "Thank you, Yuma-chan," he said to the girl, "I've been expecting guests."

She blushed, and Ren boggled at the idea that Ryuuhou was attractive to this girl. How was it possible that someone could have no idea what he was? Of course, Ren had to admit his perception was already colored by Koujaku's story. Perhaps if he didn't know anything about Ryuuhou, he would just seem like an elegant older man.

The girl descended the stairs again, and there was tense silence in the hall.

"Ryuuhou," Koujaku said. His voice was quiet and cold, but Ren could hear the rage just under the surface.

"Ah, Koujaku," Ryuuhou said, with a friendly smile that only made him look more sinister, "I had hoped you'd come to see me. Please, come in, have a seat. May I offer you a drink?"

"Shut up!" Koujaku yelled, "I'm not here to play games with you!"

"I'm not playing games, I'm offering hospitality," Ryuuhou said calmly, "There's no call for you to be so rude, Koujaku, but if you'd prefer, we can just stand in the hall."

Koujaku's lip curled in a snarl. Ren reached out and grabbed his shoulder, and Koujaku subsided a bit.

Ryuuhou laughed lightly, "Ah, I see. You've brought friends to hold your leash. That's disappointing, I'd hoped to see you alone." He shrugged, "But you did come to find me, and I'm truly flattered by your persistence. Amazed, really."

Koujaku _growled,_ his muscles tensing under Ren's hand, "You bastard!"

"Ah, Koujaku, let me see it," Ryuuhou crooned, "I never did get to see the results of my work with my own eyes. I've been waiting for this opportunity."

Koujaku shook Ren's hand off his shoulder and reached for his sword. Ren felt like his blood had turned to ice. Even if Ryuuhou would probably only be getting what was coming to him, Ren couldn't bear to see Koujaku lose control like this.

"Are you sure your rage isn't just your way of showing your love to me?" Ryuuhou asked, his voice sounding almost flirtatious, "You've grown into such a fine man, Koujaku. When I drew on your scarless skin, I knew you would become one. You were such a beautiful boy..."

"Shut up!"

"I couldn't have picked a better subject. All that rage you kept inside you... it's been growing for years, and now, I believe it's finally ready to _bloom_..."

Ryuuhou smiled again, and there was nothing pleasant about it. Koujaku let out a howl of rage and drew his sword. He looked deranged. His hair was changing color – the ends were growing red, like they'd been dipped in paint, and his eyes had a strange light in them.

"Ryuuhou!" Koujaku yelled.

" _Koujaku_!" Aoba cried.

It was Scrap again. There was no command, but it got Koujaku's attention, and he subsided. The changes in his body seemed to disappear in an instant.

Ryuuhou looked at Aoba with distaste, "I don't believe this is any of your business. Although I must say, your voice is quite compelling..."

Koujaku raised his sword and pointed it at Ryuuhou, "Don't speak to him. Don't even look at him, you bastard." His voice was calm and cold, and Ren had an involuntary shiver at the sound of it.

"This is between me and you," he said, and swung his sword.

Ren gasped, but the blade stopped just before Koujaku hit Ryuuhou with it. Ryuuhou looked surprised and confused, as though he had no idea why Koujaku had done that.

"If I did kill you now, you'd deserve it," Koujaku said, "But you'd get the last laugh, because it's what you want, isn't it?" He lowered his sword, "Well, fuck that. I'm not going to give you the satisfaction."

Ryuuhou frowned, "How disappointing. You were my masterpiece - "

" _Quiet._ " Aoba's order cut through the air, and Ryuuhou's mouth closed with a snap. "Your 'masterpiece?' You tortured a seventeen year old boy and call that a 'masterpiece'? You make me sick."

His voice was low, filled with a cold rage that Ren had never heard before. He was using Scrap, but it didn't sound the way it had when Desire was close to taking control. This wasn't that unbridled joy in destruction. Aoba clearly _hated_ this man for what he had done to Koujaku. And perhaps Desire did, too, although he was dormant now...

"Listen to me, and listen carefully," Aoba said "You will never come near Koujaku again, you monster. You will never cause him, or anyone else, pain ever again. Your ability to hurt people? _I'll destroy it._ "

Ryuuhou made a small, choked sound and Aoba smiled with grim satisfaction, "You'll have to find something else to do with you time now, because Koujaku isn't going to dirty his hands with you."

He placed his hand on Koujaku's shoulder and looked up at him. “Are you alright?” he asked.

Koujaku looked at Ryuuhou with disgust, “I feel sick.”

"Let's go home," Aoba said. His voice was soft and gentle, but Ren could still hear the crackle of power underneath it.

Ren held Koujaku's hand and twined their fingers together. Without another word, they turned and left Ryuuhou standing in the doorway, still trying to speak. They descended the stairs in silence, and Koujaku didn't release Ren's hand until they reached the lobby.

“That was fast,” said the girl at the door, but Koujaku didn't acknowledge her as they left.

Koujaku was trembling by the time they got outside of the club, walking fast in no particular direction. Ren had to all but run to keep up with him. He turned a corner onto a narrow alley and stopped in his tracks, leaning with one hand braced on the wall.

“Koujaku!” he cried, reaching for his hand again, “Are you alright?”

"No," Koujaku said, "I'm not. I'm really not."

Aoba hugged him, "I'm sorry. I know that was hard for you, but..."

"I still want him dead, but I can't do it if that sick fuck will just... he'd _enjoy_ it if I killed him. Then he'd win." Koujaku laughed bitterly, "I'm pathetic."

"No," Ren said, "You were wonderful."

He would have liked to kiss Koujaku to make it clear just how much he meant that, but it probably wasn't appropriate. Ren joined Aoba in hugging him instead.

Koujaku laughed again, "God, I really... I don't deserve either one of you."

"Lucky for you, you've got us anyway," Aoba said.

"Yeah, I... thank you," Koujaku said, "Aoba, you were amazing. What you did to Ryuuhou..."

"It seemed like the right thing to do," Aoba said.

"It won't... wear off or anything, will it?" Koujaku asked, looking back in the direction of the club.

"I don't think so," Aoba said, "I'm not really always sure how my powers work, but I really meant that one. It's deep in his head. I don't think he's going to get it out again."

Koujaku managed a weak smile, "It was perfect. He'll hate that so much, it was really better than anything I could have done to him."

He straightened up, no longer looking quite so brittle, “I'm heading home.”

Ren and Aoba walked on either side of him all the way back.

~

Leaving Koujaku's apartment to go home to the Seragaki residence felt like the hardest thing Ren had ever had to do. Koujaku didn't seem suicidal, or even that upset, just very tired, but Ren wanted to stay with him and make sure he would be alright.

Koujaku gave him smile that seemed very tired, but also sincere, "I'm not going to hurt myself, Ren. I promise. I just need some alone time. I'll see you at work, okay?"

"Oh!" Ren gasped, "We stood up all of your appointments today!"

He hadn't even thought about work at all. Had it really been less than twenty-four hours since the entire world had turned upside down? They were only open for half the day on Sundays, but that was still a bunch of customers.

"Yeah... We're going to have to make a lot of apology calls tomorrow," Koujaku said with a wince, "Don't worry, I won't make you do them."

"It's my job, I can do them," Ren said, "Are you sure you'll be alright?"

"I'll be fine," Koujaku said, "I'm going to get some sleep, and you should do the same."

Ren refrained from suggesting that they could sleep together. Koujaku needed to work out what he wanted, and besides... Koujaku was in love with Aoba, not Ren.

"Promise you'll call if you need anything?" Aoba asked.

"I will, don't worry. And... thank you,” he added with a warm smile that made Ren's heart leap.

Reluctantly, they left Koujaku's apartment and headed for home. Aoba held Ren's hand on the walk and didn't say anything, clearly thinking hard. Ren was doing the same. Would Koujaku really be alright? Would he be able to return Ren's feelings?

Tae greeted them when they come home with a frown.

"Hi, Granny," Aoba said.

"I wish you would tell me when you're planning to spend all weekend at Koujaku's apartment," she said with a sigh, "I had planned to send you two out for groceries today, but I guess we're ordering in."

"Sorry," Ren said, "Koujaku needed us."

Tae raised an eyebrow, but didn't ask for further explanation. They ordered pizza and ate in the living room, watching a show that Tae and Aoba both followed, and Ren boggled that they could have such an ordinary evening after the past few days. After the show was over, Tae stayed on the couch to catch the evening news, while Ren and Aoba went upstairs to get ready for bed.

When Ren emerged from the bathroom, toweling his hair dry, Aoba was out on the veranda, staring pensively up at the small sliver of sky that could be seen between the cramped buildings.

“Aoba?” he asked softly, opening the door and joining him outside, “Are you alright?”

“Just thinking,” Aoba said softly. His finger tapped on the railing, and he said, “I can't believe it took something like this for me to realize I'm head over heels for that hippo. I've always hated how he'd act so fake for girls, but I didn't want anyone else to see the real Koujaku... you know, the way he is when he's standing out here relaxing.”

Ren nodded, “It was out here that I realized I had feelings for him. That night he let me try his cigarette. He's... so different when he's not playing a role for anyone.”

“Yeah,” Aoba agreed, “I kind of wish I'd realized it years ago, but then... I wouldn't have you.” He turned and stood on his toes to give Ren a kiss on the cheek. “And I wouldn't trade you for anything.”

Ren hugged Aoba tightly, touched by the sentiment, “Aoba... do you think Koujaku will want to be with us, once he has time to think it over?”

“I don't know,” Aoba said with a sigh, “I hope so, but... I've been thinking about it a lot. He said he loves me, and that it was me that made him hang on all this time, but now... he's confronted his past, and I think he's going to be okay... but maybe he won't feel the same now that he no longer _needs_ me.”

“So you think now that he's moved on from his past, he'll move on from you, too?” Ren asked, unable to imagine it. Koujaku might no longer need Aoba in the same way, but surely no one could ever fall _out_ of love with Aoba?

Aoba shrugged, “It's possible.”

“It is possible,” Ren conceded, “But it's not likely. There are a lot of reasons he might decide to not accept our offer, but not loving _you_ isn't ever likely to be one.”

Aoba's lips quirked upwards into a smile, “Thanks, Ren.”

He wrapped his arms around Ren's shoulders and gave him a kiss. When he pulled away, he had a mischievous grin on his face, “We could go back to Koujaku's place and sneak into his bed. I bet we could convince him.”

“Aoba!”

“I'm kidding. I know that's a bad idea.” Aoba released Ren and sighed, “It's just... now that I know how I feel about him, I hate not having him here with us. I'm selfish that way.”

“So, the same way I am?” Ren asked.

“Selfish? You?” Aoba asked with an incredulous laugh, “Ren, you were willing to let me break up with you to go be with Koujaku, and then you were willing to let me be with Koujaku even if he didn't want you.”

“I'm still willing to do that,” Ren cut in.

“I know, but it wouldn't feel right for me,” Aoba said, “But my point is, you are the _least_ selfish person I've ever met. Me... the only reason I can stand the thought of you loving someone else is because it's Koujaku. If you were in love with the girl at the convenience store, I'd be an angry, jealous wreck.”

“Well...” Ren said with a smile, “She is very pretty...”

“You jerk!” Aoba laughed, giving Ren a smack on the arm.

Ren laughed as well, “I am selfish, though. I've been given so much more than I could have ever asked for – my own identity, my own body, your love... and I still want more. I put your happiness above my own, but, Aoba, I _want_ so many things...”

"Oh?" Aoba asked, his voice taking on a suggestive, teasing tone Ren knew well, "What sort of things do you want?"

"I want... I want to touch you, Aoba."

Aoba took Ren's hand and pressed it flat against his chest, "And what else?"

"I want..." Ren blushed furiously, "I want to watch while you and Koujaku kiss."

Aoba's eyes widened in surprise, but he recovered quickly and smiled, "So you've got a voyeuristic streak, hmm?"

Ren nodded, "When you kissed him before... I thought I would feel jealous, but I didn't. I just liked it. I wanted to see you do more."

Two spots of color had appeared high on Aoba's cheeks. He nodded, "I actually... understand what you mean. Watching you and Koujaku together was erotic."

Aoba's smile turned positively wicked, "So, when you checked on him after his shower... did you get to see him? Did you enjoy that, Ren? How dirty of you..."

"He had a towel!" Ren protested, his face hot with embarrassment, "I didn't actually see him naked!"

Aoba pouted with disappointment, "Damn. I was hoping you could tell me about it."

"Well, um..." Ren said, "He's really... he's beautiful all over. The tattoo goes down his leg, too."

Aoba frowned. That probably wasn't exactly the best thing to bring up for this situation, Ren realized. Koujaku's tattoos were pretty to look at, but they represented so much pain and hardship for him. Ren sighed, and turned to open the door.

“Let's go inside,” he said.

Apparently Ren hadn't entirely killed the mood, because Aoba was in his lap and kissing him as soon as Ren sat on the bed. His hands came up to Aoba's ass and he squeezed it firmly, and Aoba made an appreciative noise into his mouth.

He pulled back and looked at Aoba, whose eyes were shining with love and heat. He was selfish for wanting more than this, but he knew that as long as he had Aoba's love, he would have enough. He slid his hands under Aoba's shirt and removed it in one smooth, practiced motion, revealing Aoba's smooth skin. He put his hand on Aoba's chest and spread his fingers. Their skin was very nearly the same color, Aoba just slightly darker than him. Koujaku's skin was significantly darker... it would make a lovely contrast, Ren was sure.

He leaned forward and whispered in Aoba's ear, “I love you so much.”

“I love you too, Ren.”

Ren held him close, and he felt more than heard it when Aoba laughed.

“Aoba?”

“Hey, Ren, can you guess what I'm thinking about?” Aoba asked, his breath hot against Ren's neck.

“What?” Ren asked, curious.

“All of the things I'd like to do with you and Koujaku, if he were here... I can't stop thinking about it.”

Ren shivered, his imagination supplying him with an image of Koujaku next to him on the bed, kissing Ren's neck while Ren kissed Aoba. “What sort of things would you like to do?” he asked huskily.

“Mmm... maybe I would have you just sit there and watch us for a while. Voyeur.”

Ren couldn't deny it. He could see it so clearly in his mind's eye, both of them stripped to the waist and kissing intently, Koujaku's fingers tangled in Aoba's hair... and Ren would sit and watch, trying to resist the urge to touch.

“What else?” Ren asked.

“I really want to take both of you at once,” Aoba said, “I could suck you off while Koujaku fucks me. Or the other way around, I'm not picky.”

Ren's arousal had been building slowly, but Aoba's words fully awakened it. The sensation of Aoba's lips on his collarbone helped, too. He kissed Aoba firmly, imagining what it would be like if Koujaku were there, too. What would he be like?

Koujaku would be a gentle lover, Ren guessed. With all the girls he'd dated, he'd surely know how to use his mouth... Although that thought made Ren jealous, and he pulled back from the kiss with a frown.

“Ren?”

“Koujaku's always flirting with the customers,” Ren said, “And he'll be doing it a _lot_ tomorrow when he apologizes to the missed appointments... I don't want to watch that.”

Aoba made a dissatisfied noise and rested his head on Ren's chest, “Jealousy sucks, huh?”

“Yeah,” Ren agreed, “Aoba, what if... now that he's faced his past, he actually gets serious with a girl?”

“That would suck, too. But I guess it would be good if it meant he could let go of his pain and be happy,” Aoba said quietly, “I just... I'd prefer him to do that with us.”

Ren laid back on the bed, pulling Aoba down with him, his hands settling on Aoba's hips, “So that Koujaku and I could fulfill your fantasies?”

He slid one hand down the back of Aoba's pants and began unbuttoning them with the other. Aoba's hips were moving almost unconsciously, and Ren loved knowing that he was making it happen. He looked so beautiful like this – well, he always looked beautiful as far as Ren was concerned, but he was particularly beautiful when he was excited like this.

“Aoba,” he murmured, slipping his hand into Aoba's underwear and beginning to stroke him.

“Ren...” Aoba gasped, “Ngh... feels good.”

He kissed Ren again, nibbling on his bottom lip in a way that drove Ren _wild_ , and laughed when Ren moaned.

“Hey, Ren. Are you thinking about it?” Aoba asked, “If Koujaku were here, just imagine what he'd be doing...”

“He wouldn't be able to keep his hands off you,” Ren said. No one could possibly resist touching Aoba when he was like this. Ren certainly couldn't.

Aoba chuckled, moving his way down Ren's body until he reached his pants. He unfastened them and pulled out Ren's cock, giving it a few strokes. It wasn't enough to do more than tease, but Ren arched his hips into the touch nonetheless.

“Maybe while I'm touching you like this, he'd be preparing me,” Aoba murmured, reaching back to slide his pants down off his hips. They stopped around his thighs, which Ren somehow always found sexier than Aoba being completely naked.

“And he'd push into me when I take you in my mouth,” Aoba continued, and then did just that, giving the tip of Ren's dick a quick kiss before he sucked the head in.

Ren could imagine it so clearly. Aoba sucking him just like this, with Koujaku bent over his back, thrusting into him hard... Aoba would love it, would be so turned on that he would let out a little grunt or whimper on every thrust, and Ren would feel the vibrations on his cock.

“He'd be – ah! - gentle with you to start,” Ren said, “But then he'd lose control and do it hard and fast.”

Aoba moaned around his cock.

“Do you want us to be rough with you? Would would you prefer it like this?” Ren asked.

He put his hand on the back of Aoba's head and thrust into his mouth, a lot deeper than Aoba normally took him. Aoba moaned around his cock, and Ren held him there for a few seconds before releasing him. Aoba pulled back, gasping for air before Ren did it again. A few more times and Ren wasn't receiving a blowjob anymore, he was fucking Aoba's mouth, and Aoba's muffled gasps and moans only encouraged him. He kept going, getting rougher and more uncontrolled until Aoba tapped frantically on his thigh. Ren released him and Aoba gasped for breath.

“Sorry, was that too rough?” Ren asked, panting heavily.

“No, it was good,” Aoba said, “I like it when you're rough.”

His voice was low and slightly hoarse from Ren fucking his mouth, his eyes were watering and his face was flushed. He looked so lewd like that, and Ren couldn't resist pulling Aoba up for a kiss. He could taste himself in Aoba's mouth, and it only turned him on more.

“Fuck me, Ren,” Aoba begged when they broke the kiss.

Ren hurriedly removed the rest of his clothing and pushed Aoba down on the bed, on his back. He was clumsy as he reached for the nightstand drawer and the small container of lube, and Aoba whined with impatience.

“Ren, just do it. Please!” he begged, spreading his legs invitingly, “I want you _now_.”

Ren finally managed to grab the lube and open it, spreading some on his fingers. He kneeled between Aoba's spread legs and bent to kiss him as he gently worked a finger into Aoba's hole. No matter how many times they did this, Ren was always overwhelmed by how hot and tight and soft Aoba was inside. His reaction was always alluring, his mouth open on a blissful sigh and his body relaxing to give Ren access. There was barely any resistance when Ren added a second finger.

“Aoba...” Ren breathed, “Aoba, you're so beautiful... I love the way you feel.”

“Ren, _please_ ,” Aoba begged, “I want you inside me.”

Ren kissed Aoba gently and removed his fingers. Though Ren was always concerned about hurting Aoba, he was just as impatient and didn't want to wait any longer, either. He lined himself up and pushed inside with a groan. Aoba felt much better around Ren's cock than he did around his fingers, and it was all Ren could do to give Aoba a chance to adjust instead of slamming in wildly.

After a moment, Aoba wrapped his legs around Ren's waist.

“Okay?” Ren asked.

“Yes! Ren, _please_ fuck me.”

Ren's control was never very good when it came to Aoba, and those words removed any shred he had left. He pushed into Aoba hard and fast, Aoba gasping with every thrust. Ren knew he wouldn't last long, and he moved his hand down to stroke Aoba's cock.

“ _Koujaku!_ ” Aoba cried.

Somehow, hearing Aoba call out Koujaku's name only lit more of a fire inside of Ren. He braced his other hand on Aoba's hip for more leverage, fucking him even harder. He wasn't quite sure how he lasted that long, but Aoba came first, spilling into Ren's hand with a soft cry. Ren followed soon after with Aoba clenching around him. A few more weak thrusts, then he collapsed on top of Aoba, breathing heavily.

“Good?” he asked when he caught his breath.

“Yes,” Aoba said dreamily.

Ren kissed Aoba's shoulder, “You were thinking about Koujaku.”

Aoba laughed, “Like you weren't?”

“How could I not, with you talking about him like that?” Ren smiled, “If he does choose to be with us, I want to do that for real.”

“Yeah,” Aoba agreed, “You sure we can't just seduce him? 'Cause I think the two of us could make a pretty convincing argument...”

“We shouldn't pressure him,” Ren said with a sigh.

Aoba sighed as well, “I know. I just... wish he was here with us right now.”

“Me too.” Ren kissed Aoba's forehead, quietly hoping that tomorrow would bring good news on that front.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I had one hell of a day, so sorry that the chapter is so late. Please enjoy!


	11. Chapter 9

Ren arrived at Salon Suzume half an hour early for work. He knew he was probably being paranoid, but he couldn't shake the concern that something might have happened. He was very relieved when Koujaku arrived on time, looking tired, but otherwise just fine.

"Hey," he greeted with a wave.

"Good morning," Ren said, sure his relief was coming through in his voice, "How are you feeling?"

"I feel better," Koujaku said.

He looked better, Ren thought. His smile looked more delicate, but it also looked more genuine, Ren thought. He wasn't putting up a facade.

"I'm glad," Ren said, "Aoba and I were worried about you."

"I would say you don't need to worry, but I'm sure you will anyway," Koujaku said with a small laugh, "Could you go ahead and pull up the list of people who should have had appointments this weekend?"

"Right here," Ren said, showing Koujaku the screen on his computer, "And there were a lot of missed calls, too."

"I'm not surprised. Well, if you really want to help me make these calls, I can take half the list and you can take the other?"

"That sounds fine," Ren said, "Um... what should I tell them?"

"We'll just tell them that I was sick," Koujaku said with a shrug, "I mean, it's close enough to the truth.  If anyone asks for details about what I was sick with, tell them it was food poisoning. "

Ren nodded his understanding, and began the still rather nerve-wracking process of calling customers. He'd gotten more  accustomed to talking to strangers in the time he'd been working for Koujaku, but he would never be comfortable with it. At least he was fortunate enough not to have any customers who just wanted to chit-chat – something that Koujaku seemed to be having some trouble with. Ren paused after hanging up from his last call and listened to Koujaku.

“Ah, I'm very sorry, Kasuga-san,” Koujaku said, his tone back to its usual teasing flirt. Ren frowned in annoyance. Sure, that was how Koujaku normally talked to girls, but it bothered Ren a lot more now than it did just a few days ago.

“Eh? Saturday?” Koujaku asked, the flirtatious tone suddenly disappearing from his voice, “Ah, no, I'm afraid that won't be possible.”

Ren checked the schedule. They had two slots still open for next Saturday, so what was Koujaku talking about?

“No, I really can't...” there was a long pause and then Koujaku said, “Yes. I'm sorry, Kasuga-san, but I really can't accept your invitation.”

It didn't seem like it was on purpose, but Koujaku's eyes met Ren's for a second, and Ren blushed. 

“I'll see you next Tuesday, then. Goodbye.”

Koujaku hung up and sighed.

“What was that about?” Ren asked, hoping he didn't sound too interested.

“Ah, she asked me on a date...” Koujaku said, looking uncomfortable, “And she's - well, she's a very nice girl, but... I don't have feelings for her. I really hate to upset her that way, but it would be unfair of me to make her think I...”

He trailed off. Ren was amazed. He had never seen Koujaku reject a girl before, not even as politely as that. That had to be a good sign, right? At the very least, maybe it meant Koujaku wasn't  interested in having all his flings any more...

“Besides,” Koujaku said, “We usually get together on Saturdays, right?”

Ren blushed, and looked away quickly, “Uh, yes. You  c ould come over. Tae will be glad to see you.”

Koujaku had certainly skipped on hanging out to go on dates before... Ren shook his head. He didn't  _know_ , and he really needed to stop thinking everything was a sign that Koujaku would return his feelings. And he really needed to get his blushing under control. Blushing every time Koujaku made eye contact with him would just make Koujaku uncomfortable...

That was easier said than done, though. It seemed like Ren was just cursed to have a permanently red face today, because by the time they took their lunch break, Ren had lost count of how many times he'd blushed. It was bad enough that Ren ate at the front desk instead of in the back room with Koujaku like normal. Beni kept him company, staring at Ren intensely from his perch.

“What is it, Beni?” he finally asked.

“If it helps, _I_ think Koujaku's being an idiot,” Beni said.

“Huh?”

“He told me about what happened with you guys and Ryuuhou – and by the way, I'm pissed you left me behind for that!” Beni squawked, ruffling his feathers angrily.

“I'm sorry,” Ren said, “Koujaku didn't want anyone with him... the only reason Aoba and I were with him was because he couldn't actually stop us from going.”

Beni folded his wings again, and fixed Ren with a stern look, “Fine. But anyway, Koujaku's being an idiot. You and Aoba both love him, and he's being all wishy-washy about it!”

“He needs time to think about it,” Ren said, but he couldn't help but smile anyways.

“What's there to think about? He's spent years thinking that if anyone knew about his past, they'd reject him, and now you guys know and accept him, and he's rejecting you! He's such an idiot, Ren, I don't know what I'm going to do with him,” Beni said sadly, “I just want him to be happy, y'know?”

“I do,” Ren sighed, “I want him to be happy too, but pressuring him into something he's not comfortable with won't do that. But... I hope that he can return my feelings eventually.”

Beni patted Ren on the arm with his wing, “I'm rooting for you guys, Ren.”

“Thank you, Beni,” Ren said, stroking Beni's head with a finger, “You're a good friend, you know?”

“Ah, Ren, you're embarrassing me!” Beni whined.

The afternoon passed almost as awkwardly as the morning had. Ren was blushing a little less, but every time he thought about his conversation with Beni, he wondered if he should say something. Perhaps they needed to talk more, maybe Ren could convince Koujaku to give it a try.

He shook his head. He needed to give Koujaku his space, because if Koujaku agreed with Ren cajoling him, Ren would always wonder if Koujaku really meant it, if he really wanted to be with them... This was all so complicated. Ren sighed.

Koujaku _did_ seem to have toned down his usual flirting today. Even if it didn't necessarily mean anything one way or the other, Ren thought it was a relief. Watching Koujaku flirt with every woman who walked in the door had been hard enough when Ren had just had a crush, he wasn't sure how well he could have handled it now that he knew he was in love, and that the feeling wouldn't go away after a while.

Aoba arrived shortly after closing, knocking on the locked door. Ren let him in with a smile.

"Yo, Aoba!" Beni greeted him, "Here to pick up Ren?"

"Yep!" Aoba said brightly. He smiled brightly as Koujaku came out from the back of the shop, "Hey, Koujaku. How are you doing?"

Koujaku looked startled to see Aoba, but smiled nonetheless, "I'm fine. I'm feeling a lot better now. You didn't have to check up on me."

"Of course I did," Aoba said, "I was worried about you. I mean, you had a pretty rough few days."

"That's one way of putting it..." Koujaku muttered.

"Look," Aoba said, "I know you need some space and time to figure things out. But no matter what, I'm still going to worry about you. And I'm going to watch out for you whenever I can."

Koujaku startled both of them by suddenly stepping forward and pulling Aoba into a tight hug. Aoba squeaked in protest, but after a moment he relaxed and hugged Koujaku back.

“Thank you,” Koujaku said softly. 

“Hippo,” Aoba muttered, “What did you expect? You're still my best friend.”

~

Over the next few days, things got back to normal. Aoba didn't come to pick Ren up at work and check on Koujaku, Ren stopped blushing at every glance he and Koujaku shared, and they didn't talk about what had happened. It almost felt like they were conspicuously avoiding the subject, and it made Ren more than a little bit restless. It had been a week since Ryuuhou had appeared and everything changed, and yet... nothing had changed. Though he'd been the one reminding Aoba that Koujaku needed time to work things out, there was a bit of him that wanted to grab Koujaku by the shoulders and force him to talk. It felt like they were all waiting for something to happen, and Ren didn't know what.

“Hey, Ren?” Koujaku asked, after the last customer of the day had left.

“Yes?”

“Do you and Aoba want to come over tonight?” Koujaku asked.

Ren nodded, “Sure. I'll ask Aoba.”

It was a normal thing for Koujaku to ask, especially on a weekend, but it left Ren feeling like he was standing on a precipice. He felt breathless and exhilarated as he opened his coil and sent Aoba a quick message.

'Koujaku invited us over.' He left off the usual 'do you want to come?' question, as it seemed kind of unnecessary. Aoba would come, Ren was sure of it.

'I'll meet you guys there,' was the response a few minutes later. Ren smiled, and relayed the message to Koujaku. 

The walk to Koujaku's apartment was spent in silence. The tension between them was palpable, but it wasn’t really awkward. Instead, Ren thought that it felt... anticipatory. He didn't know exactly why, but he had the feeling that the holding pattern of the last week was about to come to an end.

When they arrived Aoba was waiting out front, and greeted them with a wave.

“Oh, good, you're already here,” Koujaku said with a smile. He unlocked the door and went inside. Ren glanced at Aoba, and Aoba took his hand and gave his fingers a brief, reassuring squeeze before they followed Koujaku in.

“I'm going to order dinner. You guys want the usual?” Koujaku asked, opening his coil.

“That sounds fine,” Aoba said.

Ren sat on the couch with Aoba while Koujaku ordered their meal, still feeling like he was waiting for something to happen. Aoba looked calm, though, as though this was a completely ordinary evening.  Was Ren reading something into this that wasn't there, or was Aoba just hiding his emotions well?  


“Alright, thank you,” Koujaku said, and hung up, “It'll be here in about an hour.”

“Great, I'm hungry,” said Aoba, leaning back against the couch cushions, “You want a watch a movie or something while we wait?”

“Actually, I...” Koujaku paused and licked his lips, “I wanted to talk to you two.”

This was it. Ren sat up straight, waiting with bated breath as Koujaku shifted his weight nervously from foot to foot.

“When you two said that... that you love me, and you wanted to be with me, I was... I needed some time to think things through. Well, I've thought things through, and I...” he blushed, “I want to be with you.”

Ren released the breath he'd been holding. 

“If... if you still want me,” Koujaku added.

Aoba rose from the couch and hugged Koujaku tightly, Ren close behind him. They held Koujaku between them, and Koujaku wrapped his arm around Ren's waist. It was such a warm feeling, and Ren was delighted. Koujaku was  _theirs._

“I hoped you would say that,” Aoba said, “You're... you really want this?”

“Yes. Aoba, I love you. And, Ren... I think I could love you, too. This might not work out, but that's always a risk. I've been carrying my guilt for years, but now..." Koujaku smiled, "I want to be happy. I'll take that risk."

Ren beamed at him. It was almost everything he'd hoped Koujaku would say. He leaned into Koujaku's shoulder, and Koujaku started petting his hair automatically. Ren hugged him a little tighter.

"We'll make you happy, Koujaku," Aoba promised.

"Yes," Ren agreed, "I'll do everything to make you – both of you – happy."

"I hope I'm worth it," Koujaku said.

Ren turned his head and kissed Koujaku on the cheek, "Absolutely. Koujaku...”

“Yes?”

“Does this mean that I can kiss you?” Ren asked excitedly.

Koujaku blinked at him, then his face broke into a wide smile, “Ren, you're so cute.”

Ren decided to take that as a yes, and kissed Koujaku's smiling mouth. When Koujaku kissed back he didn't seem desperate, like he had before. He kissed and licked at Ren's lips, catching the bottom one between teeth and running his tongue over it in a way that made Ren whimper. He shouldn't be surprised that Koujaku was a good kisser, he'd had plenty of experience with girls, after all.

Ren didn't want to think about that. Koujaku was his now. His and Aoba's.

When they broke the kiss Koujaku was looking at him with heat in his eyes, which Ren liked, but he glanced at Aoba, checking for approval.

“Don't stop on my account,” Aoba said with a laugh, “I've got a good view from right here.”

“This is going to be kind of weird... I mean, all three of us like this,” said Koujaku.

“As if 'normal' was ever going to be an option for us,” Aoba pointed out, “I'm a genetically-engineered experiment with mind-control powers, and my lover was originally a part of my own fractured consciousness and now inhabits the body of my dead twin brother. And you're -”

“The bastard son of a yakuza boss with evil tattoos?” Koujaku offered dryly.

That startled a laugh out of Ren. Hearing Koujaku describe himself in such blunt terms was strange, but it had to be a good sign. If Koujaku could joke about his past, even a little bit...

“Yeah. That. I've sort of come to terms with weird,” Aoba said.

“I guess you'd have to.”

“We'll make this work,” declared Aoba, “I don't care if it's weird, we'll work at it and be happy together.”

Koujaku bent his head and kissed Aoba, and Ren smiled. It really was nice to just watch the two of them together. He wondered if Aoba thought that the sight of Ren and Koujaku kissing was as erotic as Ren found this. Probably, since he'd seemed to like it so much.

Koujaku stroked Aoba's hair and pulled away from the kiss. “You said that it doesn't hurt anymore?” he asked, gently taking a lock of it between his fingers.

“Not really,” Aoba said, “I mean, I can tell you're touching it, but you'd have to yank on it for it to actually hurt.”

Koujaku looked thoughtful, and turned to Ren, “And yours? I mean, if that body was originally Sei's, then does your hair feel, too?”

Ren experimentally touched a lock of his own hair. It didn't really feel like anything – no more remarkable than touching his own arm. Sei had likely felt pain in his hair the same way Aoba did, but Ren had never felt more than a vague sensation when it was touched. He remembered it had been painful the first few days that he'd been in Sei's body, but  _everything_ had hurt for the first several months, and Ren honestly had no idea if his hair had any more feeling than a regular person's.

“I've never noticed any particular feeling in my hair,” Ren said, “It would make sense if it did, but I think that whatever caused the sensation in Aoba's hair to fade must have affected this body as well.”

“I see.”

“You should have guessed that, Koujaku,” said Aoba, “I mean, with how much he likes getting his head petted.” He ruffled Ren's hair affectionately, “Fluffy puppy.”

“Aoba...” Ren protested, though he didn't really mind.

“Well, even as a kid, you could stand having your hair touched if it was _very_ gentle,” Koujaku said, “Like that time my mom braided it for you.”

“Ah, yeah,” Aoba said, “It didn't hurt, but I do remember it felt weird.”

“But I asked because I was wondering... Would you two mind if I cut your hair?” Koujaku asked, “I mean, obviously if it still hurts then never mind, but I - I've always wanted to.”

“Alright,” Aoba agreed. 

“Really?” Koujaku looked thrilled at the idea. Clearly it was important to him. Ren had only trimmed his hair once since he'd become human; he had felt uncomfortable about doing more than that to Sei's body. But his hair was getting pretty long now... he probably should have it cut. And if it was so important to Koujaku, then Ren didn't mind.

“I don't mind,” Ren said with a nod. He gave Koujaku another kiss, this one brief and sweet.

It didn't stay gentle for very long. Koujaku's hand – his long, elegant fingers – came up to tangle in Ren's hair, and Ren opened his mouth to lick Koujaku's bottom lip the way Koujaku had done earlier. Koujaku made a fascinating noise into Ren's mouth and arousal began to pool low in Ren's stomach. He wrapped his arms around Koujaku's waist and pulled him closer. He wanted this man so much...

“Should we take this to the bedroom?” Aoba asked, when Ren and Koujaku parted.

Yes. Yes, they absolutely should. Ren and Aoba would finally be able to make Koujaku theirs... Ren felt like he'd been waiting for years. But... 

“Do you think we have enough time before dinner gets here?” Ren asked. He would really hate to be interrupted.

Koujaku looked at him, and began to laugh. “Practical as always, Ren.” 

“We've got an hour,” Aoba said. He kissed Ren's neck, “Besides, it's a bit late for you to worry about that now. You started this. Take some responsibility, Ren.”

Ren shuddered. Aoba's husky voice saying those words never failed to arouse him. 

“Alright,” he said. An hour would be enough time, wouldn't it?

Moving to the bedroom wasn't exactly the most graceful thing, with the three of them tangled around each other, kissing and touching with increasing fervor. When they reached Koujaku's bed, Aoba was the first one to sit down on it. Koujaku followed him, wrapping his arm around Aoba's shoulders and kissing him deeply. There was nothing desperate about that kiss; Koujaku's actions looked slow and deliberate, and Aoba almost looked like he was melting in Koujaku's arms.

It really was a beautiful thing to watch. Ren hung back and let them continue. As Aoba untied Koujaku's kimono and slid it gently off of Koujaku's shoulders, his tattoos were revealed.

Ren wondered how it was possible that something that had caused him so much pain could also be so beautiful to look at. The brightly colored flowers almost seemed to be mocking him. It was almost certainly intentional, considering Ryuuhou's proclivities.

Koujaku kissed Aoba's neck, and Aoba tilted his head to give him access and let out a breathy sigh.

"Aoba..." Koujaku murmured, in a tone Ren knew well. When there simply weren't proper words to express his love and devotion, Ren would just whisper Aoba's name and hope that all his meanings came through. He smiled. It clearly did. If Ren sounded half as in love as Koujaku did, then the meaning was unmistakeable.

"Ren," Aoba said suddenly, startling him, "Why are you just standing there? Come here."

"I was just watching," Ren said with a smile, sitting on the bed next to them, "You two are so beautiful."

Aoba was slender and pale, Koujaku was broad and tanned, and the contrast between the two was just as striking as Ren had thought it would be. Both of them blushed at Ren's words, though.

“Voyeur,” Koujaku said with a slightly embarrassed laugh.

Aoba looked at Ren with a positively  _wicked_ smile. Ren smiled back. If he was a voyeur, then Aoba was surely an exhibitionist.

"Well then," Aoba said, and turned his attention back to Koujaku. He trailed his fingers across Koujaku's collarbone and followed the path he had traced with a line of gentle kisses. "We should make it a good show, shouldn't we?" 

Koujaku made a strangled noise in response, and Aoba paused in his exploration.

"Are you okay?" he asked.

Koujaku blushed bright red as he replied, "I wasn't expecting you to say something like that. It was... really sexy."

Aoba smiled, and kissed Koujaku again, quick and affectionate, before pulling back to remove his shirt. Ren wondered how long he could hold out, just watching without giving in to the urge to touch them...

As it turned out, the answer was 'not very long at all.' He held out for only a minute or so longer before he moved behind Aoba, holding him firmly against his chest. It was nice to watch, but it was a lot more fun to touch and tell Koujaku about all of Aoba's sensitive spots. Aoba made so many cute sounds during sex, Ren wanted Koujaku to hear every one of them.

"He likes it when you touch him here," Ren said, kissing the inside of Aoba's elbow, making him shiver, "Behind the knees, too, he's very sensitive there."

"Nngh, Ren..." Aoba groaned, "Stop giving away all my weak spots – ah!" He cried out as Koujaku kissed the inside of his ankle. "Koujaku..."

"I found one myself," Koujaku said. He met Ren's eyes and smiled, "Aoba has such a cute voice."

"He does," Ren agreed, “Use your fingernails. Just a little bit.”

“Hmm, like this?” Koujaku asked, gently scratching his nails down the inside of Aoba's thigh. Ren could see it raising goosebumps on Aoba's skin, and Aoba let out a little whimper.

“Just like that,” Ren said, moving his hands over Aoba's chest to play with his nipples.

"Maybe instead of sharing all  _my_ weak spots, you should look for Koujaku's," Aoba grumbled, weakly poking at Koujaku with his foot.

“But, Aoba,” Koujaku said with a falsely innocent expression, “You're just so cute, how could we resist playing with you?”

Ren couldn't disagree with that – Aoba  _was_ adorable. But at the same time, Aoba's suggestion sounded like a good one, too. He already knew Aoba's reactions, and though he could never get tired of them, he wanted to learn Koujaku's reactions as well. He gave Aoba a lingering kiss and let him go, moving to catch Koujaku's hand. He raised it to his mouth and kissed the palm.

Koujaku smiled at Ren, his eyes heavy-lidded and hot. Ren took that as encouragement and stretched over Aoba to kiss Koujaku's shoulder. The heavy black lines of his tattoo were very close to his lips, and Ren wondered if he should kiss them as well. Perhaps not this time, he decided. It would probably make Koujaku uncomfortable, and Ren didn't want to ruin the mood.

The stretch was getting uncomfortable, so he tapped Aoba on the shoulder and gestured for him to move. Aoba understood his meaning, and slid out from between them, giving Ren room to get close enough to kiss Koujaku properly. Ren did so with relish, stroking Koujaku's toned chest with his hands while he explored Koujaku's mouth with his tongue.

“Damn,” Aoba said, which Ren took to be approval.

Ren's hands glided down Koujaku's stomach, gently caressing his skin until he reached the waistband of Koujaku's pants. Evidently, Koujaku wasn't as ticklish as Aoba was. Aoba would normally be squirming by the time Ren had gotten this far, and though Koujaku certainly didn't seem to dislike the move, he didn't seem to have any particular reaction to it either. Ren wasn't discouraged, though. This was his opportunity to find out what Koujaku  _did_ like.

Judging by the way he groaned into Ren's mouth, he definitely liked it when Aoba started kissing his neck. Ren liked it too, being able to feel Aoba's hair tickling him while he kissed Koujaku...

His hands toyed with the waistband of Koujaku's pants, and he pulled back to ask, "Can I take these off?"

Koujaku nodded, and Ren unfastened his pants and slid them down past Koujaku's hips. Koujaku kicked them off, leaving him in nothing but his underwear; his erection was straining against the fabric. He couldn't help but stare for a moment.

"Like what you see?" Koujaku asked. Ren looked up at him with a heavy blush and saw that Koujaku was blushing too.

“Sorry,” Ren said, although he didn't know why he was apologizing. Surely he had permission to look now, after all.

Aoba snorted, "Koujaku, you're ridiculous."

He looked at Ren and gave him a lazy, heated smile.

"Hey, Ren, why are you the only one who's still dressed?" asked Aoba, running his hands underneath Ren's shirt and pulling it upward, "That hardly seems fair, does it?"

Ren didn't really have anything to say in response, so he let Aoba take his shirt off. Aoba wasted no time in attacking his chest, kissing his collarbone and pinching his nipples. Ren moaned at the touch, then moaned even louder when he felt Koujaku unzip his pants and reach in to wrap his hand around Ren's hard cock. He stroked it so gently it almost seemed timid. Of course - Koujaku had never been with a guy before, so he wouldn't be sure of what he was doing.

"Koujaku," Ren groaned. It seemed to encourage him, because he started to stroke Ren more firmly.

Aoba turned toward Koujaku, and Ren could  _hear_ the smug smile in his voice as he said, "Here, try this." Then Aoba's hand was on his cock, too, his thumb pressing into the slit, and Ren made a helpless noise at the sensation. Aoba  _and_ Koujaku... he was going to die, and it would be a very happy death.

"Ah, Ren, you're cute too," Koujaku murmured heatedly.

"Koujaku," Ren whimpered. He couldn't keep track of who was touching him, and he didn't really care either, "I want to - "

"Yes, Ren?" Aoba asked sweetly, "What do you want?"

"I want to touch you," said Ren, squirming away from their grip. He sat on his knees and murmured, "Please.”

Koujaku gulped audibly as Ren bent down and touched Koujaku's cock through his underwear. It was hot, the fabric slightly damp from the precum leaking from the tip, and Ren pulled them down, finally able to see all of Koujaku's beautiful body. He smiled up at Koujaku, and kissed the tip of his cock.

Koujaku was a little bit bigger than Aoba, but not so much so that Ren had trouble taking him in his mouth. He took his time, exploring the differences. Koujaku's cock curved slightly upward, and he smelled and tasted a little different, although Ren didn't have words to adequately describe the difference. It was a good taste, though, and Ren bobbed his head, sucking Koujaku eagerly.

“Oh, fuck, Ren – _Aoba_!” Koujaku gasped, because Aoba had moved to join Ren in sucking Koujaku.

Ren decided he liked this a lot. Kissing Aoba around Koujaku's cock was hot and sloppy, and Koujaku was making the most delicious noises above them... when he took Koujaku as deep as he could, Aoba moved down to play with his balls, and when he pulled off to suck on only the tip, Aoba was licking broad swipes up the shaft.

“Fuck, guys, I'm gonna -” Koujaku gasped, “Your _mouth_ , fuck -”

Ren would have been quite happy to make Koujaku come in his mouth, but Aoba moved back and pulled Ren with him. Ren looked at Aoba with disappointment, but he was also curious. Aoba clearly had something specific in mind, and Ren was eager to find out what it was.

“Lie down, Koujaku,” Aoba said, pushing on his shoulder. 

Koujaku did, with a somewhat glazed expression. He looked so cute that Ren had to kiss him, and almost missed Aoba straddling Koujaku. He reached behind himself, grasping Koujaku's cock and holding it steady. He must have been preparing himself while they were sucking Koujaku's cock earlier, Ren realized. He wished he'd been paying attention, because the thought was so arousing Ren let out a desperate little whimper.

“Aoba!” Koujaku gasped, “Wait!”

Aoba paused, crouched over Koujaku's body, “What is it?”

“You – you don't have to do that,” Koujaku said.

Aoba let out a breathy laugh, “I know. I want to. Do  _you_ not want me to?”

“I...” Koujaku bit his lip, “I want everything, Aoba...”

Aoba smiled, and leaned down to kiss Koujaku sweetly, “I love you.”

“Aoba...” 

Aoba straightened up, and slowly sank down on to Koujaku's cock. Koujaku closed his eyes, his mouth falling open soundlessly, and Aoba gasped when he was fully seated. They were the most beautiful sight that Ren had ever seen.

He held his cock, stroking slowly as he watched Aoba begin to move, raising up on his thighs and dropping down again. Koujaku's hands came to Aoba's hips and he held him as he began to thrust upward. Koujaku looked like he was trying not to come right there. No wonder, this was the first time he'd felt Aoba clenching around him. Ren still wasn't sure how he had lasted the first time. Aoba's body was so perfect, Ren couldn't imagine anything feeling better...

“Does he feel good, Koujaku?” Ren murmured, stroking himself a little faster.

“Yes...” Koujaku moaned, “He feels so good...”

Aoba said nothing, just panting from exertion as he rode Koujaku's cock. His head was tilted back, his expression blissful, sweat shining on his skin, and Ren wanted to preserve the image in his memory forever. He scooted closer and kissed Aoba deeply, his free hand coming up to tangle in Aoba's long hair.

“ _Fuck_ ,” Koujaku gasped. 

“Ren,” Aoba whimpered against his lips, then “Koujaku!” at a particularly hard thrust which raised him up off the bed.

“Aoba, I want to -”

“Do it,” Aoba gasped, “Do what you want, please, I want to feel it.”

He braced one hand on Koujaku's chest and stroked his cock with the other, something Ren had watched Aoba do many times before, but it took on a new and fascinating lewdness when he was seeing it from the outside. Koujaku grabbed his hips and began thrusting into Aoba roughly, his uncontrolled movements making Aoba gasp and whimper with every push. Ren stroked himself harder as well, his eyes flitting between the desperate expressions on Koujaku and Aoba's faces and the connection between their bodies. 

Aoba came first, his head thrown back with a cry as his cum spurted onto Koujaku's chest. Koujaku didn't give him a moment's rest, his hips still moving, and it was Aoba's helpless noises that pushed Ren over the edge. He had always been weak to Aoba's voice...

A few minutes later and Koujaku was coming, too. Ren noticed that he reached out for Aoba's hand desperately when he did. A few last thrusts, and Koujaku relaxed back against the bed. Aoba moved from on top of Koujaku, carefully laying down next to him.

“That was...” Koujaku started, and trailed off. Apparently he saw no need to elaborate on what it had been.

“Yeah,” Ren agreed, and kissed Koujaku's cheek. 

Koujaku turned his head to look at Ren with a smile, “You really are a voyeur, huh?”

Ren couldn't feel embarrassed when he felt so good, so he nodded, “You two are beautiful. I would draw you if I knew how to draw.”

Aoba giggled from the other side of Koujaku, “Ren, you are so cute.”

He shifted a little closer to Koujaku and winced.

Koujaku noticed, “Are you okay?”

“I'm fine,” Aoba reassured him, “I'm just a little sore.”

“Sorry, I should have been more careful.”

“Hippo,” said Aoba, though he looked more affectionate than annoyed, “I liked it. Ask Ren, he'll tell you.”

Koujaku glanced over at him, and Ren smiled, “Aoba liked it.”

Koujaku laughed softly, and pulled Aoba and Ren closer to him. Ren rested his head on Koujaku's shoulder with a happy sigh. This was wonderful. He couldn't remember the last time he'd felt so warm and satisfied. 

They laid there in silence for a while longer, until the doorbell rang, startling Ren out of his relaxed state.

“Oh, that's probably dinner,” said Koujaku.

“So,” Aoba said, “Who wants to put their clothes on and get that?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And the dorks are finally all together. One more chapter to go! Thanks for sticking with me this far, guys.


	12. Chapter 10

When Ren woke up, he was briefly disoriented, because he was naked and Aoba was in his arms, but he wasn't in their room. Then the memory of the previous night hit him, and he smiled. Koujaku returned their feelings – or at least Aoba's – and wanted to be with them, and they were in Koujaku's bed.

Ren lifted his head from the pillow and saw Koujaku sleeping on the other side of Aoba, close to the edge of the bed. Aoba had, as usual, spread out in his sleep, stealing all the room on the bed. Ren had mostly gotten used to Aoba's restless sleeping, and didn't even wake up for it anymore, but the first few nights they had slept together, Ren had ended up either on the floor or crushed against the wall.

Laying in bed with Aoba and Koujaku was wonderful, but Ren had to use the bathroom, and he would have to get ready to go to work soon, too. He looked over at the pile of discarded clothing on the floor, then up at the clock on the wall. There was no chance he would have the time to go home for fresh clothes. He was going to walk into work in yesterday's outfit, rumpled and probably smelling of sex... with Koujaku, who was the reason why.

Ren blushed. He couldn't truthfully say he minded that idea too much, though. Even if Koujaku flirted with customers like usual today, Ren would know – and Koujaku would know, too – that he was taken.

“Koujaku,” he called quietly, “Koujaku!”

Koujaku's eyes blinked open. There was sleepy confusion on his face for a moment, then he smiled.

“Mmm, morning. What is it?”

“Unless you intend to close Salon Suzume today, we should probably get ready for work,” Ren said.

Koujaku sighed, “I'd love to just lie in bed all day, but you're right.”

He sat up and looked over at Aoba, who was still sleeping soundly.

“How does he manage to take up the entire bed like that?” Koujaku asked, “And why aren't you clinging to the edge?”

“It seems to be a talent of his,” Ren answered, “And I've gotten used to it.”

Koujaku chuckled affectionately, and stroked Aoba's hair, “Aoba... wake up.”

“Mmng,” Aoba grunted.

“If you don't get up, Ren and I will have to make you,” Koujaku said, “We have to leave for work.”

“Nnngh... so go,” Aoba mumbled, “Let me sleep.”

Koujaku looked at Ren helplessly, “So how do _you_ handle his morning attitude?  I feel like yanking the sheet out from under him and dumping him on the floor would be bad form now...”

“Tickling usually works,” Ren said.

Aoba's eyes snapped open, “Don't you _dare!_ ”

“Or just the threat of tickling,” Ren added with a grin, “That's effective, too.”

Koujaku looked impressed, “I'll have to remember that.”

“Jerks,” Aoba grumbled, “It's your fault I'm tired, anyway.”

“Mm-hm, sure it is. I seem to remember that you were the one who kept suggesting more things for us to do,” said Koujaku, trailing his fingers lightly over Aoba's bare back.

Aoba flushed, and sat up. There were a number of small marks on his collarbone, and Ren had no idea which ones had been left by him and which had been left by Koujaku. They would all be hidden by his clothes, and Ren had a sudden strong urge to put a mark somewhere that would definitely show. Or, better yet, he could put one on Koujaku, to make it very clear to the customers that he was taken.

“Like you weren't into it,” Aoba crooned. He sat up on his knees to give Koujaku a kiss, the blanket falling to the bed and leaving him completely uncovered.

“Aoba, believe me, I'd like nothing more than to spend all day in bed with you, but I really have to get to work,” Koujaku said, very carefully _not_ looking at Aoba's naked body, "I mean, I stood up all those appointments last weekend, I can't close without warning again."

Aoba gave a long-suffering sigh, “Fine.”

Koujaku looked for a second like he was going to throw Aoba to the bed and take him anyway, work be damned. Or maybe Ren was just projecting, because that was what he wanted to do. They still hadn't fulfilled Aoba's earlier fantasy, after all...

Ren got out of bed, and began picking his clothes out of the pile on the floor. He swore he could feel Koujaku's eyes on him as he did so. He stood up with the clothes in his arms and headed towards the bathroom, trying not too think too hard about the fact that he was _naked in Koujaku's bedroom_ , and really, getting dressed to leave was wasting a golden opportunity.

When he emerged from the bathroom, freshly showered and dressed, Aoba was still on the bed. He had at least put some of his clothes back on, though he was somehow even more alluring in his underwear and shirt, and Koujaku had a bathrobe on and was by the door, waiting for his turn to shower. It was all very domestic and Ren smiled. He hoped that mornings like this would be the norm from here on out.

Koujaku gave him a quick smile and stepped into the bathroom. Ren went to sit on the bed with Aoba, who was being very slow about getting his pants on.

“I wonder if Haga will let me switch my shift tomorrow to later in the week,” Aoba murmured, “The salon is closed, and I would really rather spend the day with you and Koujaku.”

“Probably not on such short notice,” Ren said, “But you can ask him.”

He put his arms around Aoba's shoulders and hugged him close. Aoba still smelled of sex, and Ren liked that smell a lot.

“I'm so happy,” he said.

Aoba laughed, and hugged Ren back, “Me too.”

“Aoba...” Ren started, “Do you think... Koujaku loves you, do you think that he'll come to love me too?”

“Of course he will,” said Aoba, pulling back to fix Ren with a knowing look, "I give it a month at the most before he's just as in love with you as he is with me."

"Really?" Ren asked. It was an encouraging estimate, but Ren wondered where Aoba's confident reply came from, "You think it'll be that soon?"

Aoba laughed, and kissed Ren on the nose, "Don't worry, Ren. You're not a hard person to love, after all."

Ren hugged Aoba tightly for a moment longer, then released him. If he didn't, he wasn't going to be able to tear himself away to go to work.

Koujaku didn't take very long in the shower. He returned to the bedroom in less than fifteen minutes with his hair still slightly damp. He saw Aoba and Ren and his face broke into a wide smile.

"I think I'm really gonna like this," Koujaku said. He walked over to Beni's perch and tapped the Allmate on the head, "Morning, Beni."

Beni's eyes opened, and he stretched his wings, "Good morning, Koujaku!" He looked around the bedroom and said, "Oh, Ren and Aoba are still here?"

"Yes," Koujaku said brightly, "You'll probably see them here a lot more often now."

"So you finally decided to stop holding out on them?" Beni asked excitedly, "That's great!"

He fluttered up to Koujaku's shoulder and perched there, looking very pleased, “Don't mess it up, okay?”

Koujaku laughed, “I'll try not to.”

~

For some reason, Ren had expected that work that day would feel somehow different, but it really didn't. Okay, except for the fact that every time he caught Koujaku's eye during the day, he would vividly remember the events of the previous night, but he had already been fantasizing about what he'd like to do. Remembering the real thing wasn't significantly different.

And the little spike of jealousy wasn't any different when the first appointment of the day came in, greeting them both with a smile. She was one of their regulars, coming in once a month to have Koujaku dye her hair a different, ostentatious color. Ren couldn't help but find her to be pretty overwhelming, and she was way too casual with her touches.

"Good morning, Koujaku!" she said brightly, putting her hand on his arm.

"Good morning, Yomi-chan," he replied, "Has it been a month already? Time certainly flies.”

"I can't believe it's _only_ been a month," she said.

Neither could Ren, really. So much had happened in the last month – in the last week – it didn't seem like it was possible that ten days ago he'd been sitting at the front desk, watching Koujaku and still thinking that his feelings were only a crush that would go away.

Yomi looked around, although there wasn't anyone other than Ren to overhear, and leaned in close to Koujaku, "Can I tell you a secret? I know Keisuke won't mind if I tell you..."

"Oh?" Koujaku asked, "Is it a good secret?"

"Keisuke asked me to marry him!" she said excitedly, and Ren suddenly felt like an idiot for being jealous. Of course. Some of their customers liked Koujaku simply because he was friendly and good at taking care of their hair; not _everyone_ had romantic designs on him.

"Well, congratulations!" Koujaku said, "That's excellent news!"

“Congratulations, Yomi-san,” Ren said.  He sincerely meant it, too, “If you would like to have Koujaku do your hair for your wedding, I'm sure he would be happy to.”

“I'll keep that in mind for when we set a date,” she said, with a happy smile, “But today I just want to get my roots touched up.”

Koujaku caught Ren's eye as he escorted Yomi to the salon chair. He winked, and Ren had to hide another blush. Ren had seen Koujaku flirt with girls so often, he really had no idea how to react when Koujaku turned that flirting on _him._ He thought he liked it, though.

“Ren, you are just _smitten_ ,” Beni said in a low, conspiratorial tone.

Ren couldn't deny it, “It's obvious, isn't it?”

“Yep, but don't worry,” Beni said, “I really think it's something Koujaku needs, y'know? Sure, he gets it from his female fans, and the guys in Benishigure admire him, but you know his history and you still look at him like that. It's good for him.”

Ren chuckled, “So how long have you been rooting for us, Beni?”

“Ever since I found out you were gay,” said Beni confidently, “You and Aoba are the best thing that's ever happened to him, for sure!”

“Thanks for the vote of confidence.”

When they were closing up the shop after the last customer left, Ren's blush returned in full force. He was alone with Koujaku, and conceivably he could do some of the things he had imagined for months, but he just couldn't bring himself to try anything. It was harder to be confident than he had expected...

“You get jealous when the customers talk to me, don't you?” Koujaku asked suddenly.

“Uh...” said Ren, startled. Well, he did, but he thought he did a good job of not showing it. Koujaku flirted with the girls a lot less since the incident with Ryuuhou, but he was still very charming. “I try not to be...”

“It's okay,” Koujaku reassured him, “I only noticed because of Yomi this morning. You acted like normal when she first came in, but as soon as she said she was getting married, you relaxed. You were downright _friendly_ with her.”

“Well, she is a nice person,” Ren said.

“Yeah, but you weren't friendly before. It was because you knew for a fact she wasn't after me, right?”

Ren blushed, “I'm sorry. I can't help feeling a bit jealous sometimes... I just try very hard to be professional.”

Koujaku smiled at him, “You're so cute.”

Ren looked away, embarrassed, and Koujaku continued, “You're going home tonight?”

“Ah, yes,” Ren said, “I need clean clothes, and Aoba has to work in the morning, so...” So as much as he would have liked to, going over to Koujaku's and spending the night together wasn't really a good plan. He knew there wouldn't be a whole lot of sleeping going on if he and Aoba had Koujaku and some privacy... He cleared his throat and added, “But he gets off work at 2 PM tomorrow, so we can come over after that.”

“Great,” Koujaku said, “I'll make dinner.”

Make dinner? Ren didn't know Koujaku could cook, although he guessed it was impossible that Koujaku _always_ ordered in...

“That sounds nice,” Ren said, “I guess I should be going home now...”

He was very surprised when Koujaku took Ren's chin in his hands and gave him a quick, sweet kiss. It wasn't sensual, like the kisses they had shared before, but affectionate, like Aoba would usually give Ren when he left for work. It was enough to make Ren's heart flutter.

“I'll see you tomorrow,” Koujaku said softly, “Goodnight, Ren.”

“Goodnight, Koujaku.”

~

Ren and Aoba spent almost every night of the next week with Koujaku. Ren occasionally wondered what Tae thought of them being gone so much of the time, but she didn't say anything about it and Ren was honestly too happy to be that concerned about it. Being with Koujaku was wonderful. They ate together, they slept in the same bed, and on one memorable occasion they had all shared the same shower. That had been fun, at least until the hot water had suddenly run out.

They had sex frequently, which Ren definitely enjoyed (there were so many _more_ ways that three bodies could intertwine), but he enjoyed just as much the hours they spent sprawled out on Koujaku's couch together, reading or playing a game or getting work done. Doing their own separate things, but in each other's company. It was very comfortable and relaxed, and Ren wanted this to be how he spent his life from here on out. He wanted this to last forever, and he thought it could.

There was only one lingering doubt: While Koujaku had said he loved Aoba a few times, he had yet to say it to Ren.

Oh, Ren had no doubt that Koujaku _liked_ him. His smiles and his affectionate touches and the passion in his kisses were more than enough proof of that. He flirted with Ren at work, and was vocal about how cute he found Ren to be. Koujaku clearly _enjoyed_ being with Ren, so Ren had no reason to be insecure about Koujaku's feelings.

_And, Ren, I think I could love you too._

Really, it wasn't as though he expected Koujaku to fall in love with him in barely more than a week. Love took time to develop, after all. Ren just wished he could tell Koujaku he loved him without worrying that Koujaku would feel pressured to say it back.

The smile Koujaku gave him when Ren arrived at work was more than reassuring, though. He and Aoba had spent the night at home the previous night, after three straight days at Koujaku's house. Really, it was only when he wasn't around Koujaku that Ren's insecurities started to set in. When they were together, whether it was at work or cuddling on the couch, Ren didn't worry about Koujaku's feelings for him.

“Good morning, Ren,” Koujaku said brightly as Ren entered the salon, “Did you sleep well?”

“I did, thank you,” Ren replied with a smile, “How about you?”

“Well, it _is_ easier to sleep without Aoba doing his best to push me off the bed,” Koujaku laughed, “But honestly, I just missed you two.”

“Then you won't mind if we spend the night again tonight?” Ren asked.

“Of course I don't mind. Here,” Koujaku said, and pulled something out from behind his back.

It was a single, long-stemmed rose, and Koujaku held it out to Ren with a smile, “This is for you.”

Ren's eyes widened in surprise, and he took the offered rose. Koujaku had brought in fresh flowers to decorate the salon a few times before, but Ren hadn't ever seen him give one of his female fans a rose before. This was something new, then. Something Koujaku was doing just for Ren...

“Thank you,” Ren said, feeling his cheeks go hot. Koujaku hadn't exactly held back from romantic gestures so far, but Ren had never expected flowers.

“You're welcome,” Koujaku said with a smile, “I thought about getting one for Aoba, too, but he wouldn't appreciate it as much as you do.”

That was true. Aoba tended to react to Koujaku's more overtly romantic gestures with embarrassment and telling him he was being ridiculous, whereas Ren loved them even if he also felt a little embarrassed. The rose wasn't embarrassing, though. It was sweet.

He gave Koujaku what he intended to be a quick kiss, but it ended up lingering for a lot longer than was probably strictly appropriate for work. Ren broke the kiss with a blush, and went to find a vase from the last time Koujaku had brought flowers to work.

He placed the flower on the desk next to him, next to the bonsai tree. When the customers started arriving, Ren enjoyed knowing that not a one of them had any idea his gift was anything more than a simple decoration. It was similar to the way Koujaku flirted with him in front of customers – subtle, but Ren knew what it meant, and it always gave him a little thrill to think that no one else knew. It felt like he was getting away with something.

“Hey, Ren,” Beni said with a shrewd tone, “Koujaku didn't pick that color randomly, y'know?”

“Hm?” Ren asked, looking away from the vase, “What are you talking about?”

“The rose. He picked that color for a reason. Roses have different meanings based on their color, y'know,” said Beni.

Ren had heard about that before. The language of flowers, or something? He knew that roses were considered to be a particularly romantic flower, but he didn't know specific colors had specific meanings.  The rose Koujaku had given him was two-colored, yellow petals fading smoothly to red at the tip.  Ren had just assumed Koujaku had gotten it because it was pretty...

“So what does it mean?” Ren asked, curious.

“Look it up!” Beni said excitedly, flapping his wings a bit.

Well, it must mean something good, if Beni was so excited for Ren to figure it out. Ren glanced over at Koujaku, currently cutting the hair of the last appointment before their lunch break. He was talking to her, but he caught Ren looking at him in the mirror and gave him a quick smile.

Ren smiled back, and opened up his coil to look it up.

A few minutes later, Ren could barely contain his joy, or his impatience, as he rang up the customer and took her payment. Red roses, he discovered, meant love and yellow roses meant friendship. Red and yellow roses, like the one Koujaku had gotten him, meant love blooming out of a friendship. Or, in other words, 'I'm falling in love with you.'

“Thank you, please come again!” he called as the customer left.

As soon as the door had closed behind her, Ren turned to Koujaku with a smile he knew was probably ridiculous, but he couldn't help it. He was just so happy.

"What is it?" Koujaku asked.

Ren kissed him, firmly and intensely. Koujaku made a surprised noise into Ren's mouth, but kissed him back, his hands coming to rest on Ren's waist.

"I love you," Ren said when he broke the kiss, "I love you _so much_ , Koujaku..."

"Yeah," Koujaku said, "I do too. Ren, you're just so..."

Ren didn't find out what he was, since he elected to kiss Koujaku again instead. To think he'd been _worrying_ just this morning, while Koujaku was probably out buying that rose to tell Ren he loved him in such a beautiful way.

They didn't stop kissing until Beni helpfully pointed out that they only had twenty minutes before the next customer was due to arrive, and that she was one who tended to arrive early. Being caught in the act by a customer didn't appeal to Ren – maybe by Aoba, though, that could be fun – so he reluctantly pulled away from Koujaku.

“Later,” Koujaku promised, “When we get home, I've got this idea I want to try.”

Ren wondered what Koujaku's idea could be, his brain and libido helpfully supplying several possibilities. He refrained from asking, though, and ate his lunch with Koujaku sitting so close to him that Ren could feel his body heat.

The customer arrived early, just as Koujaku was putting the last bite of his lunch into his mouth. She was one of the more aggressive flirts, but Koujaku looked entirely unaffected by her behavior. Ren returned to his spot at the front desk with a smile, and opened his coil again. He wanted to share his good news with Aoba.

'Koujaku told me that he loves me,' Ren wrote, unable to keep the grin off his face as he typed.

It didn't take long at all for the reply to come back.

'Didn't I tell you it wouldn't take long?' Aoba's response read, 'I'm so happy for you. Both of you, actually. I'll see you tonight at Koujaku's apartment. I have to go to Delivery Works so I might be late.  Give him a kiss for me.'

Ren smiled. There would be a lot more than just one kiss as soon as they had the privacy.

~

They walked side by side to Koujaku's apartment, not exactly holding hands, but sometimes their fingers would brush each other as they walked. Ren wondered if it was obvious to passersby, because he couldn't keep the smile off of his face and every time he looked over at Koujaku, Koujaku was smiling, too.

They reached the apartment and Koujaku unlocked the door.

“I really need to get you and Aoba your own keys,” said Koujaku, holding the door open for Ren.

“I would like that,” Red said. He didn't think he'd be arriving at Koujaku's home without Koujaku there very often, but having a key to his house would be so delightfully _official_.

“Remind me, and I'll get it done tomorrow evening,” Koujaku said, “Aoba's going to be late?”

“He said he had to go to Delivery Works,” Ren said, “It shouldn't be too long, unless Yoshie-san wants to visit with him again.”

“Does she ever not?” Koujaku asked.

“Good point. It may be hours before he gets here,” Ren smiled at Koujaku and gave him a quick kiss on the cheek, “Aoba asked me to give you a kiss from him.”

Koujaku chuckled, “Can I have one from you, too?”

Ren smiled, and kissed Koujaku's other cheek. Koujaku laughed and pulled Ren close to him for a proper kiss.

“I love you,” Koujaku said when they parted, “I really do.”

Ren blushed, and ducked his head to hide it, “I'm so happy. I didn't expect – I knew that you liked me, but I thought it might take a long time for you to love me...”

“I think I was already most of the way there months ago,” Koujaku wrapped his arms around Ren's shoulders and squeezed him gently, “I just had so much of my own shit getting in the way of me seeing it. But now... I'm happy. Thank you.”

“Koujaku...”

Koujaku lifted Ren's chin and gave him a sweet, affectionate kiss, and Ren returned it eagerly. Kissing Koujaku felt different from kissing Aoba, but it was equally enjoyable. Really, that seemed a fair description of most things about Koujaku – different from Aoba, but Ren liked them just as much. Aoba would never have bought Ren a rose, after all.

Ren broke the kiss with a small laugh.

“Hmm?” Koujaku made a questioning noise.

“I was just thinking,” Ren said, “Everything about you is different from Aoba, but I love the contrast between you.”

Koujaku chuckled, “Ah, I see.  I think you and Aoba are equally cute. But, yeah, in different ways.”

He sat down on the couch, and Ren sat next to him. He leaned into Koujaku and let out a happy sigh when Koujaku began to stroke his hair.

“See, you're cute like a fluffy puppy. You're so openly affectionate and eager to please,” Koujaku explained, ruffling Ren's hair affectionately, “Aoba's cute like a cat – he acts all standoffish but when he's comfortable he just melts.”

“I like cats,” Ren said vaguely, leaning into Koujaku's touch, “Aoba doesn't, though. He likes dogs.”

“I like cats and dogs,” Koujaku said, “Lucky me.”

Ren moved to lay his head down on Koujaku's lap, and looked up at him with a smile, “I love you.”

Koujaku smoothed Ren's hair out of his face and leaned down to kiss his forehead, “I love you too. My cute puppy.”

Ren blushed, pleased. He didn't say anything in response, and relaxed as Koujaku petted his hair. It was funny, Ren thought. So much had changed, and yet he was once again laying on Koujaku's lap and being petted. He'd come full circle, hadn't he? Back to where he started, but different than before...

Being human was still such a strange and wonderful thing.

They stayed in that position in comfortable silence until Aoba arrived. When the door opened, Ren raised his hand to wave at Aoba, who smiled at him.

“That looks comfortable,” he said brightly, dropping his bag on the floor and kicking off his shoes.

“It is,” Ren said happily, “Welcome home.”

He wondered if it was presumptuous to call Koujaku's apartment 'home' this soon, but Koujaku didn't seem to mind, and it made Aoba smile.

Aoba came over to the couch and sat down on Koujaku's other side. He leaned against Koujaku's shoulder, and Ren saw Koujaku raise his other hand to play with Aoba's hair. Aoba didn't lean into the touch, but he didn't seem to mind it, either. After a moment, he started petting Ren as well, and Ren made a happy sound at the touch.

“So... would it be okay if I cut your hair tomorrow?” Koujaku asked.

“That's fine,” Ren said.

“Yeah,” Aoba agreed, “We're all yours.”

Ren smiled happily.  And Koujaku was all theirs. They all belonged to each other now, and that suited Ren just fine.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And it's done. This is the longest fic I've ever completed. I'm still amazed that I managed to finish it at all, let alone that you guys liked it. Thank you so much everyone who read this, and an extra thank you to everyone who left feedback! Every single kudo, comment, and bookmark means more than I can say.
> 
> And once again, a special thank you to quetzalpapalotl, without whom I would _never_ have finished this fic.
> 
> I may write a short epilogue for this later on. In the meantime, come hit me up on [my tumblr](http://dreaming-shark.tumblr.com/). I'm always happy to chat, share headcanons, take short prompts, etc.


	13. Epilogue

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter has no plot, just domestic fluff and smut.

Koujaku awoke to a loud crack of thunder. After a few moments spent grasping around in confusion, he managed to turn the light on. Well, the power was still on. That was good. Severe storms like this one typically knocked out the power lines in the Old Resident District, and it had been known to take weeks before some areas were fixed. That was less of a problem now that Platinum Jail had fallen and Midorijima was back in touch with the mainland, though.

“What was that?” Aoba asked, his voice sleepy and confused.

“Thunder,” Koujaku said, “I think something really close by must have gotten hit by lightning.”

The rain was still coming down hard and loud, just as it had been when they'd gone to bed last night and Koujaku sighed. He really hoped that there wasn't any flooding in the shopping district. He didn't want to have to spend the next week cleaning up the salon to make it usable again if there was water damage or mold.

“Eh?” Aoba said, “Where's Ren?”

Koujaku blinked, and looked around. Where  _was_ Ren?

There was a light coming from the hall, and Beni wasn't on his perch. Ah. The storm had probably woken him, and he'd taken Beni for company since he couldn't fall back asleep. Ren tended to do that when he woke up first. 

Koujaku checked his coil for the time. 9 AM already? It felt like a lot earlier. 

He leaned down and kissed Aoba on the forehead, “It's nine o'clock. He's up already and we should be too.”

Aoba made a displeased noise and pulled the blanket over his head, “Everything is closed for the typhoon anyway, I'm not getting up yet.”

Koujaku chuckled, and decided to let Aoba win this time. Aoba never liked to wake up in the morning. Koujaku slid out of bed and headed for the kitchen. He was hungry.

Sure enough, Ren was in the kitchen with Beni on his shoulder. He was standing at the stove, frying some eggs.

“Good morning,” Koujaku said, coming over and giving Ren a quick kiss on the cheek, “That smells good.”

“Thanks,” Ren said, “I thought I should make breakfast before we lost power. There's rice in the cooker, too.”

“Good thinking. Any change in the forecast, Beni?” Koujaku asked.

“Nope, sorry,” Beni said, “The storm won't finish passing us until tonight. Probably around midnight.”

“Oh well,” Koujaku said, “I'm sure we can come up with something to do today while we're stuck inside.”

Another crack of thunder sounded outside and the lights flickered, but stayed on.

“Beni, how's your battery holding out?” Ren asked, “You might want to go charge while you have the opportunity.”

“I'm fine!” Beni protested, “Even if we lose power I'll have like three days before I need to worry about my battery dying! Four if I don't fly too much.”

“Still,” Koujaku said, “You ought to consider it.”

Beni gave Koujaku a suspicious look, “You know, you can just ask for privacy. You're not going to hurt my feelings if you do.”

“That wasn't actually what I was implying,” Koujaku said, his face heating up. The last time his apartment had lost power had been a few years ago, and this entire block hadn't had it restored for almost a month. He'd spent the whole time couch-surfing with various members of Benishigure and crashing at Aoba's place. Keeping Beni charged had been difficult.

Then again, the domesticity of Ren standing in his kitchen, making breakfast while wearing nothing but a pair of pajama pants made for a pretty tempting sight.

“You should wear an apron,” Koujaku said, “You don't want grease burns.”

“Well, I'm done now,” Ren said, turning the stove off. He put the eggs onto a plate and handed it to Koujaku with an adorable smile, “Here you go.”

“Thank you,” Koujaku said. He sat down at the table with his plate.

“Should I go wake Aoba up?” Ren asked, “His food will get cold...”

“He'll probably be less grumpy if you wave a delicious breakfast under his nose,” Koujaku said, taking a bite, “This is great, Ren, thank you.”

“It's just fried eggs,” Ren said, but there was a pleased blush on his face at the compliment. He'd been learning to cook over the past couple of months, and was getting better every day. He'd learned to cook western-style breakfasts first, because they were pretty simple. It was still good, though, and Koujaku wanted to encourage him.

Ren sat down across the table from him and they ate in companionable silence. The storm outside was loud enough, and Koujaku marveled that Aoba was still managing to sleep through it.

“Uh-oh,” Beni said, “We've got reports of flooding in the west district.”

“Shit. Any more detail than that?” asked Koujaku.

“Not yet, sorry.”

“I'll call Tae and make sure she's alright,” Ren said, getting up from the table.

“If she needs any help, let me know.” She was probably fine, since her house was on a hill and therefore unlikely to flood, but making sure was important. Besides, if she'd lost power, they could invite her to their home.

Koujaku smiled. It was nice to think of this apartment as 'their home'. Ren and Aoba had only officially moved in a little over a month ago, but they'd been spending so much time here prior to that it felt like they'd been living here for much longer. 

Tae knew about their relationship and she accepted it, even if she didn't quite understand it. She'd encouraged Aoba and Ren to move in with Koujaku and make it official, and Koujaku loved her for it. She really was family now, and he wanted to make sure she was okay.

A few minutes later, Ren returned to the kitchen with a still-sleepy Aoba in tow.

“She's okay?” Koujaku asked.

“She's fine,” Ren said, “The flooding is a few blocks down from the house, and she hasn't lost power.”

“She bawled us out for calling to check up on her,” Aoba said. He pitched his voice to imitate Tae and said, “'I've been through more storms than all three of you put together, I know how to handle them!'”

Koujaku laughed, “Yes, that's what she'd say. I bet she was still pleased that we worried about her, though.”

“Yeah, probably, but she wouldn't admit it,” Aoba yawned, and ran a hand through his messy hair. His bedhead was ten times worse now that he had short hair, but he looked so cute with it. “I made her promise to call if anything happens.”

He sat down at his usual spot at the table, “Thanks for making breakfast, Ren.”

“It was nothing,” Ren said, smiling again. Aoba looked up at him and smiled back.

They were both so cute. Koujaku still wondered sometimes how he had ever gotten to be so incredibly lucky.

After finishing breakfast, they migrated to the living room. Ren pulled out a jigsaw puzzle, his birthday gift from Tae, and spread the pieces out on the floor to begin working on it. 

“After all, if we lose power, I can still entertain myself,” Ren said. 

Koujaku smiled at him, “Practical as always, Ren.”

“Mind if I join you?” Beni asked.

“Not at all. Help me find edge pieces?”

Koujaku watched Ren work on the puzzle for a minute or so, but lost interest quickly. Instead, he picked up a book he'd been meaning to read for a few months and sat down on the couch with it, but barely got halfway through the first page before Aoba sat down beside him and put his feet in Koujaku's lap. Koujaku raised an eyebrow at him.

“Please?” Aoba asked, blinking up cutely at him, “I was running all over town yesterday...”

“You are so spoiled, Aoba,” Koujaku teased, but he put his book down and began to rub Aoba's feet.

“As if you mind,” Aoba retorted, relaxing back onto the couch with a happy sigh.

He really didn't. This was just about a perfect way to spend the day. Aoba was smiling at him contentedly, Ren was humming quietly to himself as he worked on the puzzle, and the sound of the storm outside only made the room inside seem far more cozy.

“I love you,” he said with a smile.

“I love you too,” Aoba replied. He let out a little squeak when Koujaku dug his thumb into the arch of his foot.

“Sorry, did that hurt?” Koujaku asked.

“Little bit, but it's good.”

“I see.”

Koujaku rubbed Aoba's feet for a while before moving up to his ankles. By the time he moved to massaging his calves, Aoba looked like he had all but melted into the couch. Koujaku liked to see that. Aoba didn't often let Koujaku really pamper him the way Koujaku wanted to. It was normally only after sex that he'd relax and let Koujaku shower him with affection.

“Still good?” he asked.

Aoba's eyes opened a crack and he gave Koujaku a soft, lazy smile, “Mm-hm.”

Koujaku patted the couch next to him, “Come here.”

Aoba pulled his leg out of Koujaku's grip and moved up to sit next to him. He was obviously feeling very relaxed, because he let Koujaku put his arms around his shoulders and pull him into a cuddle without so much as a grunt of protest. Aoba looked up at him with a soft smile.

“Hey,” he said, his voice low.

“Hey,” Koujaku said in response.

“Look at Ren.”

Koujaku did as he was told. Ren had made some progress on the puzzle, the edge was mostly complete, and part of the picture in the middle was coming together. Ren himself seemed completely oblivious to them, his expression one of intense concentration as he checked the piece in his hand against the picture on the box.

“He's so focused on that puzzle,” Aoba murmured, “Doesn't he look cute like that?”

“Ren always looks cute,” Koujaku said.

“Yeah. But I mean extra-cute.”

Koujaku looked at Ren, whose tongue had poked out of his mouth as he put a puzzle piece in place. Extra-cute was a good word for it. Koujaku sometimes wasn't sure how to handle Ren's extreme adorability.

“He's even cuter than you. Sometimes,” Koujaku added, making Aoba put on a mock scowl.

“I'm not cute.”

Koujaku kissed Aoba on the nose, “Yes you are.”

Aoba continued to scowl, but after a second his face broke into a smile and he kissed Koujaku. Koujaku kissed him back, running his fingers through Aoba's hair. His bedhead was still pretty bad. Maybe he'd let Koujaku wash and brush it for him today, since none of them had anywhere to be, with the storm still raging outside.

“Love you,” Koujaku said.

“Love you, too,” Aoba replied. He nodded toward Ren, who was still entirely focused on the puzzle, “I wonder how far we could get before he notices what we're up to?”

Koujaku grinned, “Let's find out.”

They kissed, and Koujaku smiled against Aoba's lips. Aoba playfully nipped Koujaku's bottom lip, and let out a little sigh as Koujaku continued to run his fingers through Aoba's soft hair.

“You and your hair fetish,” Aoba grumbled good naturedly.

“I'm just proud of my work. Although it feels like you could use a trim.”

Aoba rolled his eyes, and kissed Koujaku again. He deepened the kiss, his body moving against Koujaku's in a way that felt undeniably sexual. Koujaku slipped his hand down the back of Aoba's pants and squeezed, and Aoba moaned into his mouth. Aoba must have been turned on, he didn't usually start moaning at a little bit of groping...

“Oh,” Ren said, and Koujaku glanced over at him. He was still lying on his stomach on the floor, a puzzle piece in hand, but he was staring at Aoba and Koujaku on the couch.

_I see_ , Koujaku thought. Aoba hadn't moaned because he was that turned on, he'd moaned to get Ren's attention. Well, it had worked,  but he resolved to get Aoba to moan because he meant it.

“Feel free to join us,” Aoba said with a seductive smile.

“Well, I'll see myself out,” Beni said, dropping the puzzle piece in his beak and taking off in the direction of the bedroom.

Koujaku laughed, slightly embarrassed. Beni didn't care about sex, but he knew it made them uncomfortable if they noticed him watching, so he generally made himself scarce whenever they'd start. He wondered if Beni ever got annoyed at them for it... 

But Koujaku would just have to make it up to him later, because Aoba was rolling his hips against him and Ren was moving towards them with lust in his eyes. Ren took Aoba's chin in his hand and turned his head to kiss him deeply. Aoba's eyes closed, his expression one of pure bliss as Ren kissed him.

“What a view...” Koujaku murmured.

Ren was probably the most voyeuristic of the three of them, but that wasn’t to say that Koujaku didn't enjoy laying back and watching the show unfold in front of him. He loved the way they touched each other – gently, but urgently. Ren pulled up Aoba's shirt and began pinching and pulling at his nipples, and, yeah, that looked like something Koujaku would like to be doing as well. 

Koujaku sat up a bit and gently kissed Ren's fingers before moving his hand away from his goal. He licked the firm little bud and then, remembering how much Aoba enjoyed slightly rougher treatment in bed, he bit Aoba's nipple.

Aoba let out a muffled moan, but it certainly sounded appreciative to Koujaku's ear. Aoba loved to be the focus of both of his lovers' attentions, after all...

Suddenly, a crack of thunder sounded, loud enough to actually rattle the windows, and the lights flickered. Koujaku jerked away, and Ren fell backwards with a startled yelp.

“Holy shit!” Aoba gasped, “Did that one hit the building?”

Ren let out a small whimper and Koujaku reached out to stroke his hair reassuringly. Sudden, loud noises scared him. Though he'd mostly gotten over it, thunder that loud and that close was enough to really freak him out.

“You okay?” Koujaku asked.

“Yeah,” Ren said, though his voice was a little shaky, “It was just loud...”

“Let's move back to the bedroom,” Koujaku suggested, “It'll be more comfortable anyway.” And it would settle Ren down without embarrassing him.

Aoba nodded in agreement, and stood up. He held his hand out to Ren, “Are you okay? It's just thunder, there's nothing to be afraid of.”

Ren took his hand and got to his feet, “I know that, but I still don't like it.”

Koujaku stood up as well. He wrapped his arms around Ren and kissed his forehead gently, “It's okay. Everyone is afraid of something. It's nothing to be embarrassed about.”

Ren nodded against Koujaku's chest and Koujaku kissed his forehead. Ren was dangerously cute.

“Come on,” he said, taking Ren's hand and pulling him in the direction of the bedroom.

He frowned when he reached the bedroom and saw the blankets in a pile on the bed. Again. Aoba never made the bed when he got up, and it was the biggest annoyance Koujaku had with him since they'd started living together. He and Ren were both naturally very tidy people, but Aoba was not.

“Aoba...” Koujaku said, giving him a look.

Aoba at least had the good grace to look a little bit sheepish, “Yeah, yeah, I know, I'm a slob who doesn't make the bed first thing in the morning. I'm sorry.”

Koujaku sighed, and shook his head. He looked at Ren, “What are we going to do with him?”

Aoba grinned at them, “I have a few suggestions...”

Koujaku shook his head, “Nope. If we do that, how will you learn your lesson?”

He pulled Ren against him with a smile, “This is now a 'people who do their fair share of the tidying up'-only party. Right, Ren?”

Ren smiled cutely at him, “That does seem fair. I did tell Aoba to make the bed when I got him for breakfast, but he said he'd do it later...”

Koujaku kissed Ren, and heard Aoba give an annoyed huff.

“Okay, I get the message,” he said.

Koujaku broke the kiss and looked over to see Aoba hastily making the bed. He looked back at Ren with a smile, “He gave in really quickly, didn't he?”

“Jerks,” Aoba muttered, tugging the comforter into a vaguely 'made' arrangement. Koujaku wondered if he ought to put his foot down about Aoba half-assing the job, but decided not to. This wasn't something worth turning into an actual argument.

Aoba sat down on the bed and pouted at them, “Happy now?”

Ren laughed, “Delighted. Thank you.” He pulled away from Koujaku's hold and moved over to kiss Aoba gently.

Koujaku followed, taking a seat on the bed next to Aoba, “You're trouble. But you're cute trouble.”

“I'm not cute.”

“You are so cute. Ren, isn't he cute?”

Ren nodded as he bent his head to kiss Aoba's neck. Aoba's protest turned into a breathy sigh, and he tilted his head back to give Ren access. Koujaku slid his hand up Aoba's thigh, lightly cupping Aoba through his pants. He leaned in close to murmur in Aoba's ear, “Let us hear your cute voice, Aoba...”

“Ngh... hippo,” Aoba muttered, and turned his head to kiss Koujaku properly. Koujaku kissed him back, opening Aoba's pants as he did. He reached into them and gave Aoba a few light strokes, just enough to judge his reaction.

Aoba moaned loudly in response, and Koujaku pulled back from the kiss with a smile, “Yeah, like that.”

Ren put his hands on Aoba's shoulders and pushed him to lie back on the bed, “Aoba... what do you want to do?”

Aoba looked up at Ren with a lazy, sensual smile that sent a tingle straight down Koujaku's spine, “Take a guess. You two are usually pretty good at that.” 

“That's because we pretty much like all the same things,” Ren said with a smile, “For example, if I was in your position and you were in mine, I'd want you to do _this...”_

He pulled Aoba's shirt up again and went to work leaving a trail of kisses down his stomach. Koujaku held back to watch for a bit, and quietly took off his kimono while they were distracted. He had gotten comfortable with Aoba and Ren seeing his tattoos, but he still didn't feel entirely comfortable with letting them watch him undress.

He joined back in, kissing Aoba again. Aoba moaned into his mouth. Koujaku had no idea if it was because of his kiss or what Ren was doing, but he didn't really care. Either way was good. He pulled back and smiled at Aoba's slightly glazed look.

“You're beautiful,” Koujaku said.

Aoba smiled at him, “So are you.” He reached up and stroked Koujaku's bangs away from his face, his thumb running over Koujaku's tattoo.

Koujaku turned his head to kiss Aoba's palm. He was embarrassingly weak to that kind of gesture from either of his lovers. They were always so tender towards him, especially the parts of himself that he had hated for so long...

Aoba sat up, gently shaking Ren off. Ren moved back, looking up at Aoba expectantly. That always seemed to happen. Ren liked to wait for Aoba or Koujaku to tell him what they wanted. It was another cute quality of his, although Koujaku was so far gone he found pretty much everything either of them did adorable.

“I want to top you this time,” Aoba said, his cheeks flushed pink as he looked at Koujaku, “Are you alright with that?”

Koujaku nodded. At first, he had been nervous about bottoming, but had tried it simply because he didn't think it was right to do anything to his lovers that he wouldn't try himself. He had enjoyed it far more than he'd expected to. It turned out that being vulnerable with Ren and Aoba wasn't frightening for him, it was freeing.

“Of course,” he said, and kissed Aoba quickly, “Whatever you want, beautiful.”

Aoba made an embarrassed sound, and pushed Koujaku back onto the bed, “You're such a sap. Hang on a minute, okay?”

Koujaku laughed, propping himself up on his elbows to smile at his lovers. “Hey, Ren, come here,” Koujaku said, patting the bed next to him.

Ren did as he was told, lying down next to Koujaku and brushing his lips against Koujaku's neck in a way that was gentle, but still pretty insistent. Koujaku turned his head to kiss Ren properly.

Ren made a satisfied noise into Koujaku's mouth, and Koujaku broke the kiss with a smile, “Ah, Ren, you're so cute...”

Ren reached down and unbuttoned Koujaku's pants, slipping his hand inside and squeezing Koujaku's cock lightly. Koujaku sighed, thrusting slightly into Ren's hand.

“Good,” Aoba said from above, “Warm him up for me, Ren?”

“Yes,” Ren agreed. He kissed Koujaku again and then moved down until his face was at eye level with Koujaku's crotch. He pulled Koujaku's pants and underwear down and kissed the tip of his cock almost reverently, and Koujaku made a rather embarrassing noise at the sensation.

Ren sucked the head into his mouth, his tongue swirling around as he licked. Ren was always enthusiastic when it came to sucking cock – it was literally one of his favorite things to do for either of them. Koujaku had long ago gotten past his discomfort at letting them do things for him in bed. He reached down to tangle his fingers in Ren's hair.

“Feels good,” he murmured.

Ren hummed around his cock, and Koujaku let his head fall back on the bed with a groan. A moment later he felt Aoba's hand on his leg, nudging his thighs apart. He spread his legs willingly, sighing as Aoba began to prepare him. He started with two fingers, and Koujaku groaned loudly.

“Koujaku, you're gorgeous,” Aoba whispered.

Koujaku managed a breathless laugh, “If you say so, Aoba.”

Aoba laughed, “I do.” He began stretching Koujaku, scissoring his fingers inside him, and Koujaku vaguely thought that he was going to be a mess by the time they were done with him, caught between Ren's mouth and Aoba's fingers.

Good. If anyone could make him a mess, it should be his lovers. If they were the ones causing it, he didn't mind being a mess one bit. He tangled his hands in the bedsheets and bucked his hips into Ren's mouth.

“Okay, let's stop before he comes too soon,” Aoba said, pulling Ren back, and Koujaku groaned in disappointment. Ren gave one final kiss to the head of Koujaku's cock before obeying.

Ren moved up to give Koujaku a deep, sloppy kiss that involved a lot of tongue. Koujaku wondered if was narcissistic that he enjoyed tasting himself in Ren's mouth so much.

“What now, Aoba?” Ren asked huskily, breaking the kiss with Koujaku.

Aoba laughed softly, “I guess I'm the idea man again, huh? Turn over, Koujaku.”

Koujaku did as he was told, propping himself up on his hands and knees while Aoba continued to prepare him. He noticed as he did so that Ren's cock was near his hand, looking hard and red and a little bit neglected, so he reached out to stroke it.

“Nngh, Koujaku...” Ren groaned, bucking his hips into Koujaku's hand.

Koujaku smiled at him. Ren always got so turned on from giving head. Koujaku certainly didn't mind it. He stroked Ren gently, enjoying the way Ren's mouth fell open and he gasped with pleasure. It was so easy to take care of Ren. Koujaku loved it.

Koujaku felt Aoba's fingers slide out of him and looked over his shoulder. Aoba met Koujaku's gaze and smiled sensually at him.

“Ready?” he asked.

“Yes,” Koujaku nodded. Aoba carefully lined himself up with his entrance and thrust in, making Koujaku groan loudly.

Aoba held still as Koujaku breathed heavily, trying to adjust. The first part was always a bit painful, but he knew it would start feeling good soon. He groaned again as Aoba shifted inside him, leaning over his back and kissing his shoulder. It sent chills down Koujaku's spine in a very good way.

“I love you,” Aoba murmured against his skin.

Koujaku sighed as his muscles relaxed. “Then love me,” he replied.

Aoba began to move and Koujaku gasped. It was still a little bit uncomfortable, but not awful, and the pleasure quickly overtook the discomfort and he began moving his hips back to meet Aoba's thrusts. Being vulnerable like this was, even after all this time, still just a bit nerve-wracking, but he didn't care if he could give his lovers pleasure.

Speaking of which... Koujaku looked at Ren, who was watching them intently and stroking his cock. Apparently he liked the show. Koujaku gestured for him to come closer. Ren did so, and Koujaku bent his head to lick the tip of Ren's cock.

Koujaku had always liked giving his partners pleasure with his mouth. He'd liked it back during his days of dating every girl who asked, and he liked it even more now that he was doing it for someone he genuinely loved. Giving head to a guy instead of eating out a girl had taken Koujaku some getting used to – most of the techniques he'd used on girls didn't really apply to Ren and Aoba – but he'd figured it out. Ren tasted hot and heavy in his mouth, bitter and salty in a way that he could never quite describe but loved nonetheless.

He tried his best to focus on sucking Ren, but it wasn't easy with Aoba thrusting into him. Still, Ren was certainly enjoying it if his sounds were any indication.

“Koujaku,” Ren murmured, brushing his hair out of his face with gentle fingers, “Koujaku, I love you so much.”

_I love you too,_ Koujaku thought, but he didn't want to stop sucking Ren to say it. Both Ren and Aoba were enjoying his body right now and Koujaku didn't want to interrupt that.

However, when Aoba reached down to begin stroking Koujaku's cock, he had to pull back from sucking Ren or risk biting him. It felt too good for him to pay attention.

“Sometimes – I still – can't believe you're ours,” Aoba panted in Koujaku's ear, “I love you.”

Koujaku was pretty sure the noise he made in response to that would embarrass him later, but for now he was too aroused to care. He dropped to his elbows and tried to catch his breath, but Ren was tugging insistently on his hair. Koujaku raised his head and Ren's cock brushed against his lips again.

“Koujaku, please,” Ren said. It was so cute how he still managed to be polite even when he was desperate. Koujaku wrapped his lips around Ren's cock again, bobbing his head as he sucked.

“So good, Koujaku,” Aoba grunted, “You're so good for us.”

The words sent a familiar thrill through him, and Koujaku worked harder on Ren's cock. He felt close to the edge, but he wanted to get Ren off first. Koujaku hummed, pushing the flat of his tongue against the underside of his cock. The sound Ren made was one of the sexiest things Koujaku had ever had the pleasure of hearing.

“Koujaku, I'm close -” Ren stiffened, and Koujaku had only a moment to prepare himself as Ren came in his mouth. He still couldn't say that he _liked_ the flavor, but he didn't really mind it either, and the way Ren sank back down on the bed was more than satisfying enough to make up for it. Ren's sated expression made Koujaku feel very smug. There was nothing better than making his lovers look at him that way.

“You look so good like this,” Aoba said, his voice rough and ragged – he sounded like he was pretty close, too.

“Aoba,” Koujaku gasped. He started to stroke himself, his hand covering Aoba's as he rocked his hips back into Aoba's thrusts.

Ren kissed Koujaku's neck, nibbling in a way that Koujaku knew would leave a mark. He groaned at the thought. He loved them leaving their marks on him – he loved seeing himself in the mirror afterward, he loved the way the marks of their pleasure stood out more brightly than his scars or tattoos.

Aoba bent over Koujaku's back and sucked another mark onto the other side of his neck, and that was it. Koujaku came with a loud moan, all the strength going out of his arms. He only stayed more or less upright because of Aoba's grip on his hips.

“Koujaku – Koujaku,” Aoba was repeating as he thrust into him hard and fast. He didn't take long either, and after a bit more thrusting, Koujaku felt him stiffen with his orgasm.

“I love you,” Aoba said softly as he pulled out.

Koujaku collapsed to the bed, panting hard. After a moment, Ren laid down next to him and cuddled up. He kissed Koujaku's chin gently, and licked the little bit of cum that had spilled from the corner of his mouth.

“Love you,” Koujaku murmured, wrapping his arm around Ren's waist and pulling him closer. Aoba laid down behind him, kissing Koujaku's shoulder blade.

“That was fun,” Aoba said. He yawned, “And now I'm ready for another nap.”

“You're going to sleep all day, aren't you?” Koujaku asked with a laugh. He glanced at the clock on the wall, “It's only eleven, you realize?”

“It's been a busy morning,” Ren said.

“Besides,” Aoba added, “Are you really going to complain about spending a stormy day in bed cuddling?”

“No,” Koujaku said, “No, I am not.”

He rolled onto his back and gathered both Ren and Aoba into his arms. Sometimes, he still didn't believe it was possible that he was this happy, but he had no complaints about it at all. He kissed Ren's forehead, then Aoba's, and relaxed. He'd need a shower later, and they'd have to change the sheets, but for now he had no desire to move.

He let the sound of the storm and his lovers' soft, steady breathing lull him back to sleep.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Happy birthday quetzalpapalotl! I finished the epilogue as your present! Thanks for being my friend and the best darn cheerleader a writer could ever ask for!
> 
> Have a great birthday, sweetie!


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